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Friday, August 31, 2007
More hot mama
This is a picture of me & my mom. Yep, that is a real tiger and I got to play with it. He scratched my knee. The circus was in town and my mom had connections. I got to meet with the clowns and sit up front.
posted by Maeve at 1:11 PM
Thursday, August 30, 2007
My brother loves me.
The day of my aunt's funeral was the longest damn day of my life. She became an arm chair bible thumper later in life. Didn't practice what she preached and twisted the bible to suit her needs. The pastor was from her church that gave the service. The man preached more about Jesus then he eulogiest my aunt. That damn sermon went on for a brain numbing half an hour. My evil auntie next to me was squirming just as bad as I was. We wanted out. We wanted a drink.
Oh yeah? Did I mention that there was no booze served at the luncheon after wards?
For Christ's sake! My crazy aunt was Irish! After every thing was said and done Evil Auntie, her hub and I went to a pub close to my dad's house to slam down a few. We had to make it quick because I needed to change my clothes and get ready for the wedding rehursal.
I finally get to my dad's house and make my way to the basement where we are staying. My dad has a refinished basement and it is like having your own apt. down there. So as I laid on the floor rolling around with Pudd'n I was pissing and moaning how I needed another glass of whiskey. My brother went up stairs and then came down to place a flask in front of my face. I lit up like a kid at Christmas and high tailed my ass upstairs to get some ice and a glass.
My brother does love me!
posted by Maeve at 4:22 PM
My beautiful baby sister.
Wish I could say I was lit 10 ways to sunday in this picture, but I wasn't. The bartender was a stingy pussy with the whiskey. I drank through my flask before the service and started hitting on my brother's during dinner. The dj was really good, I did not dance much. I look like a frog in a blender when I do. Spaz's youngest tore up the floor. That kid was a dancing machine.
posted by Maeve at 1:47 PM
My favorite photo
This by far is my favorite photo. Pudd'n and B really hit it off this trip around. They played for hours at a time. Pudd'n hates restaurants with a passion, but he sat there very nicely with B and actually ate.
posted by Maeve at 1:34 PM
Future Pool Shark
Here is one of the more happier moments of my trip. The rehersal dinner was held at an Irish pub. I thought for sure we'd have a melt down over a new place, but Pudd'n walked in like he owned the place. Here he is "playing" pool with his cousin B.
We stayed for close to an hour and then he was ready to go.
posted by Maeve at 9:01 AM
Home againI wish I could say we had a good time on our trip back home. But first, a big "Thank You" to my sub bartenders while I was gone.
We had spectacular thunderstorms every day up until the wedding. Then the skies cleared and the humidity kept at bay. My sister looked stunning, her dress was exquisit. My sister married into a Jerry Springer family.
That is all I'm going to say about that.
The funeral was nice as funerals go. I hadn't been close to my aunt for a long time. She had a drug problem and that really rotted her brain and common sense. I feel more sorry for the three daughters she left behind.
We barely slept all week and did a lot of running around. Pudd'n got bit by my dad's dog two days before we came home. That was the icing on the cake. I just couldn't take all the crap that was going on. I got a perscription for some happy pills, self medicating with whiskey isn't working.
I am now doing a mountain of laundry. My dad, step mom, sister, BIL and SIL all smoke. At one point I had to leave the room and go dry heave it made me so sick to smell all that shit.
For once I'm glad to be back in CA.
posted by Maeve at 7:27 AM
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Spanish Lesson 666My sister that got married has a darling four year old daughter. Smart as a whip and very inquisitive. We need to keep her away from my husband.
Case in point:
Steve: Hey B do you want to learn how to speak Spanish?
Steve: Do you want to learn how to say "Aunt Maeve" in Spanish?
B: Yes Uncle Steve
Steve: Ok, to say "Aunt Maeve" in Spanish, you say "El Diablo"
I'd kill him, but it is more fun to make him miserable and kill him slowly.
posted by Maeve at 3:34 PM
Monday, August 27, 2007
RUB ME!I had my very first massage a few weeks ago and can I say that I am READY for the next one already?
I mean for years I have sat around and listened to all my girlfriends tell me just how wonderful and great these MASSAGES are but I never paid much attention.
I finally broke down and had one done.
It was EVERYTHING I had ever heard and more.....just awesome.
This year I have also had my very first manicure & pedicure.
All I can say is I have been missing out on some serious pampering for way too long. This is something I plan on changing in my life.
I think from now on I will set one day of pampering for myself at least once a month.
Why didn't these women hog tie me and make me do this sooner?
posted by Maeve at 10:56 PM
Getting it off my chest...I am going out on a limb here and assuming that every family has one of these.
The "I Want Whatever You Have" type of person.
Do you know that kind or are any of you related to this type of person?
In my family it was Aunt Betty. I can't tell you how many times this happened. My momma and I would pull up in Betty's driveway and my mother would forget a new pair of earrings or something like that she was wearing. She would frantically start removing jewlery before her sister saw it. Momma would say; "Oh Lord Sandy..help me hide this before Betty Louise spies it. If she sees this I'll never hear the end of it."
It was true too. Betty even started hitting me up for stuff by the time I was 16. One year my parents gave me a nice ring and I didn't have that thing 2 weeks before my own Aunt was asking me for it.
Betty never knew she wanted something until she saw another person wearing it AND it was damn annoying too.
I have a friend like that right now and I'll be honest. It is really starting to damper the friendship.
I know I've said this on my own blog but I have NEVER cared for poor mouthing from ANYBODY and this begging stuff is right up there with it in my book.
It's OKAY to compliment a person. It's OKAY to say; "Wow..that's a great pocketbook. I might have to get me one of those."
It's NOT Okay to say; "Wow, that's a great pocketbook. When you get tired of it can I have it? Are you REALLY going to use it that much? I SURE DO LIKE IT. It would look GREAT with my new jacket. Man...I REALLY REALLY like this purse."
And it's NOT OKAY to say all of these things while CLUTCHING the other persons property and slowly walking backwards out the front door.
My begging poor mouthy friend has even gone so far as to BEG from my daughter and I did nip that in the bud real quick. I BUY for my kid so she has no authority to give ANYTHING of hers away. I'm the one that makes that call....not her.
My friend seems to be jealous of my daughter because she'll say things like; "Your daughter has too much. I could use some new shoes too."
Here's a thought.
Get a job.
I'm not being ugly but seriously if you don't have any money and you don't work....well call me crazy but I see gaining employment as a GOOD THING. I've heard talk of these things called PAYCHECKS before. Seems you get a check with dollar signs on it.
WOW....what a concept.
I don't work...anymore. I'm sure I will once again when we return to the states but nope. I do not work and have not for the past 4 years.
I have one child and that's all I can afford. My friend has a few rugrats and she is CONSTANTLY telling me what a struggle it is to keep them fed and clothed. But trust me. Her children do NOT go without. Those kids are more than fine so I have no pity and don't you either.
I have never asked anyone to keep on breeding. If you have one kid and you find yourself struggling to buy diapers then do ALL of us a favor and STOP making babies.
Shit happens and bad times hit us all but don't BEG your friends for things they just bought for themselves. Don't GUILT TRIP others for being able to BUY nice things for their own children and don't poor mouth to me.
If you are POOR and really need help.....well I got two eyes. I'll be able to see that right away and yes I will help you.
But don't poor mouth to me when you are TRULY not that desitute.
If you can buy cigarettes, beer, rent movies, have cable and high speed internet connection, go out to eat and take vacations then you don't exactly fall into the POOR category in my eyes.
I know I'm rambling and I know I always sound like a cold heartless bitch when this subject arises but I have seen poor people. My grandparents were very very poor and not ONCE in their entire lives would they have ever admitted that. They had PRIDE and my granny would have eaten shit before she asked some woman to give her a pair of earrings...haha.
My friend who is forever poor mouthing drives a nicer and newer car than I do. She wears designer clothes. She is planning a two week trip to Italy.
The way I see it she's a BUM...plain and simple.
Bumming is a hobby and favorite pasttime of hers and it's gotten on my last nerve.
Just don't come crying to me while you're wearing some Dolce & Gabbana slacks and driving a 40 thousand dollar car.
I won't exactly swallow what you're saying AND you ain't getting one thin dime from me neither.
And no...You can't have my NEW POCKETBOOK neither!
posted by Maeve at 8:24 AM
Sunday, August 26, 2007
First Day of SchoolYa know...just because you squeeze out a baby that does not mean you will always understand them and it sho' don't mean they are going to grow up and be anything like yourself.
My daughter and I are somewhat complete opposites. She has even gone so far as to tell me that if we were in school together she would probably HATE me.
I was and still am a bit of a "social butterfly" but my kid? No way. She is just not a friendly person. I love her to pieces but man is she a tough nut to crack.
In High School I used to get yelled at by my entire family every single morning. I would use sooo much damn hairspray that the fumes would choke my family out. I guess my Aqua Net would seep up the hallway and really aggravate my brothers & parents.
My daughter? She's a teenager but I would swear some days she doesn't even brush her hair. She's got that "skateboarder punk" look thing going on.
I used to absolutely LOVE school and my daughter would rather drink shots of Clorox bleach than go.
I lived on the telephone when I was her age and my daughter most times refuses to even take a call. She tells me to take a message.
The night before the first day of school I would hardly be able to sleep because I was soo excited and all I could think about was my NEW OUTFIT!
My daughter? This morning was their first day of school and I will say that she did seem to put some EFFORT into looking nice today but she didn't wear anything new I had bought. She wore some old clothes. It just doesn't mean anything to her and for the life of me I can't understand that.
I gave her a bottle of new perfume this morning just as a Going Back to School treat and she didn't even open the box. I saw it on her dresser after she left.
She is finally old enough to leave campus for lunch and last year she wouldn't even eat in the cafeteria. Her and a friend hid out in a Science Lab every single day and ate all alone.
This year and I do hate to be pushy with her but I HAVE to be sometimes. I refused to pack her a lunch. I gave her money instead and told her IF she wanted to eat she was going to have to actually....*GAG*....SOCIALIZE and BE WITH PEOPLE!
I don't get it.
She can go to Taco Bell, Burger King, the Pizza Place, grab a Gyro or Subway......she can WALK off campus and be loud and obnoxious with the other kids and she has no interest whatsoever in doing that. For 9 years of school she has eaten a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich and I'm talking EVERY DAMN DAY. That's all she wants but I want her to try something else now. I want her to TALK to people. I know that's a difficult concept for her but she needs to. Her people skills are sooo crappy right now.
When people talk to her sometimes she just stares at them and that just UNNERVES me to no end. I don't know how many times I have had to "pinch" her to make her speak.
I keep telling her that there is a FINE LINE between being RUDE and SHY and she was skirting on that line a little too much.
I know she's shy but I also know she can be an ass. She's rude. She's my kid and I'll say it. She can be very very rude to people.
Part of it is she absolutely doesn't know HOW to talk to folks. She needs practice.
I kind of feel like one of those pushy over grown Jock Dads. You know the ones? The ones who couldn't play football for shit but when they have their own son they FORCE him to play and do well.
I'm not trying to make my daughter into some sort of "Southern Belle Debutant" but damn...I just want her to SMILE and be a little bit friendly.
That's not too much to expect or want...is it?
I just don't get it.
My daughter is beautiful, smart, funny and soo artistic. She is just soo creative and when she does talk she is always interesting.
I know she's a loner and probably always will be but having a few friends in life won't hurt. She's in High School...she's supposed to be having FUN, screwing off, doing silly shit, being crazy......
Isn't that insane? I WANT my daughter to do something BAD sometimes...haha.
Well...not BAD but you know?
She looked Great today and she did seem to be a little bit more confident than I had seen her before.
She even SMILED when I kissed her good-bye.
Hmmm....maybe today will be good for her. Maybe this will finally be her year to shine.
I sure do hope so..
posted by Maeve at 11:54 PM
HmmmmI hope that Maeve can appreciate THIS KINDA NEWS! I know that it might hurt her business of spell castin' and stuff when the all those old California farts find out they can do it without a "love potion # nine"
posted by Maeve at 8:58 AM
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Re-runs....... Gary Cooper was on the tube a few days ago.. some ancient interview where he was talking about his performance in "High Noon"... he was blethering on about the Strength of the Individual, The Defeat of Communism, and how hot Grace Kelley was... even though she did deserve a spanking by the time the movie was over...
... anyway, as I was watching him hem and haw while the interviewer stroked his ego, I remembered the time that my Father attacked a nest of bumblebees with only a long-sleeved shirt and a ping pong paddle... one of the bravest acts I have ever witnessed...
... I remember it like it was yesterday... he had this old antique cabinet that sat against one side of the main room of the barn... it was chocked full of old bottles, bits of stripped copper and brass... and bags of nuts and bolts... well, someone (probably me) had haphazardly dropped a half-bale of hay in front of it a few months before and no one had bothered to move it... well, a family of bumblebees found it and nested there....
... now the normal way of getting rid of bees around our home was the tried and true method of dousing the nest with a flammable liquid and then setting it alight.. sure, not the safest way to murder bees, but it was Tennessee... we were happy to take what little entertainment we could find... and nothing says fun like watching flaming bumblebees or wasps whirl like Zeros over Midway... besides, it was better than watching re-runs of Hee Haw...
... well, as you can imagine, we couldn't exactly go tossing a can of gasoline into the barn and setting it alight... so another method was decided upon... hand to hand combat... why he didn't just go into town and buy a can of Raid, I'll never know... maybe he thought it an opportunity for an Adventure... a Man against Beast thing... who knows... all I do remember is him putting on a big hat, gloves, and buttoning up a long-sleeved denim shirt... a form of armor, I guess... and kicking that bale of bumblebees... and what happened next was a truly awe-inspiring sight... he standing there while one bee at a time crawled forth and attacked him... it was like the ending sequence in Jeremiah Johnson, you know, where the Indians would only send one brave at a time to hunt down and do battle with Jeremiah... well, those bees did the same thing...
... he was nimble, my Dad... I'll give him that... and I'll never forget the almighty *thwack!* that reverberated off the tin roof when he finally tagged one of those bees with that ping pong paddle... he'd take a short breather after his victory and within seconds, another fat bumblebee would appear....
... the whole thing probably took a good hour and a half... he was worn out by the end of it... but unscathed, too... nary a sting... just a big pile of dead bees next to the wall where he'd knocked them... it was pretty impressive, when you think about it.. I mean, he killed a whole nest of bees one at a time in hand to hand combat...
... anyway, I know it really doesn't pertain to much, my little story... except that I wanted to say that Gary Cooper may have been a good actor.. and High Noon may be a classic... but I'll be willing to bet that he never battled a nest of bumblebees before...
.. everything is relative, people... everything... and in my mind, Gary Cooper was a wuss....
... guestposted by Eric of SWG...
posted by Maeve at 3:13 PM
Friday, August 24, 2007
SAY WHAT?I don't know what in the hell is going on here. A couple of days ago when I snuck in the bedroom looked just like this:
I peeked in there to day and saw THIS! Hmmm, I gotta talk to Maeve about her friends..there are good witches and then there are bitch witches...
Posted by GUYK
posted by Maeve at 10:14 AM
Thursday, August 23, 2007
TWO! For the price of one!!Come for a wedding, stay for a funeral!
Thought I'd throw up a quick post to let you all know we made it ok. We had quiet an adventure getting here. When we finally got to my dad's house, he informed us that my crazy aunt had died that day.
So now I get to go to her funeral on Fri and a wedding on Sat.
Other than that, we are having a great time so far.
posted by Maeve at 8:10 AM
FYIOkay, I know I totally suck for unloading my crap onto a bunch of people who don't even read me at my own blog...
This Guest Blogging sucks don't it?
Anyway...I finally heard from my husband. He is alive and well.
I got my haircut.
Ooopa Jack came and fixed everything that was broken in my house.
My daughter is GONE for the evening.
I have 3lbs of fresh greens beans I need to do something with and I have WINE.
Do you know what that means in this house?
Momma slaps on the apron, goes barefoot, cranks up the stereo and gets slightly drunk while slaving over a hot stove.
It's my idea of what Paradise must be like.
I'll see you all in the morning....leave out some aspirin because damn it almighty WINE gives me a headache but I keep drinking the shit!
Hope you all have a great night!
posted by Maeve at 7:35 AM
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Make Ya' Wanna Slap Yo' Momma!Tomorrow night I am having two friends come over for dinner.
Two of my Southern Pals. The woman is from Memphis and the man is from Little Rock.
Us 3 are going to do it up Southern Style honey.......Whooooo Doggie. Yes we are.
I just finished writing up my grocery list and after I get my hair done today I'll do my shopping.
Now I know it sounds like ALOT of food but that's just how I cook. I don't know how to cook small and around here you can't anyway.
I say I'm having two people come over but I suspect a few more will drop by. That's just how we "roll" in this village. People see strange cars parked out in front of your house, hear music, laughter and smell food and they COME OVER.
Okay so for my dinner tomorrow:
Smothered Pork Chops
Candied Sweet Potatoes
Black Eyed Peas
White Rice (the onion gravy from the chops goes better with rice than mashed potoes)
Spoon Bread (southern cornbread)
Slices of Tomato (can't eat without that)
Chocolate Pie for dessert.
I wanted to make some macararoni and cheese too but my daughter said NO..she's TIRED of it.
Whatever. How the hell do you get tired of mac 'n cheese?
I'm even buying a bottle of whiskey for one of my guest. I myself don't really drink the stuff but he likes it soo I guess I'll get some.
I'm a BEER GAL but I am trying to cut that back so I have no idea what I'll have for myself in the way of cocktails just yet.
I don't much care for hard liquor or mixed drinks but....I don't know.
I guess I could make some Whiskey Sours since I'll have a bottle. I think I used to like those but can't remember.
Oh hell...I know I'm going to buy beer. I live in Germany...shouldn't I be taking advantage of all this GREAT BEER while I can?
posted by Maeve at 11:18 PM
Soap Box Time.Okay so over at my little blog I give out some of my neighborhood gossip every once in a while.
I'm gonna go ahead and post some of it on Maeve's today because she seems to be following me on the "Freddy Saga."
Since she's gone I figure she'll only be checking in from time to time at her own blog and I don't want her to miss any of this honey. I truly don't.
Oh and not to say that I enjoy hearing anybody else's misery but ya' gotta admit that it has a tendency to take your mind off your own problems.
Last night I was all kinds of ready for bed. I've been feeling pretty down in the dumps so I took a nice hot bath, did a face mask, painted my nails and I felt like warmed over butter. I mean to tell you I felt GOOD and RELAXED.
Now who in the world could be rining my doorbell at this hour?
It was my good buddy Petra and her eyes were red as blood and I could tell she'd been crying.
That man's name was the first thing that popped into my head.
I didn't say one word to my pal. I just swooped her up in a big ole' Momma Bear Hug and escorted her up my stairs.
Petra has caught him sending "lovey dovey" messages to a woman at his job....AGAIN!
Here's the problem. She won't say ANYTHING to him about. She has yet to confront him on this and believe me...this ain't the FIRST TIME either.
Words just fail me on this one. I can't understand why she won't even sit down and even ASK him about it.
I asked her last night; "How do you keep crawling in bed with him and having sex when you KNOW he's fooling around on you? How do you even stand to let him TOUCH you?"
Let me give you a wee bit of background on these two.
Freddy is in his mid 40's. He was married to his first wife for about 20 years. They got married very young because a baby was coming. Freddy has admitted that he was a bad husband, didn't love her and he slept with anything that moved and finally his ex wife had had enough and she kicked him out.
Then he met Petra.
Petra is 32 years old. She was married once but her ex husband got into drugs and now he's in prison.
Petra and Freddy got pregnant with their daughter pretty quick too. Petra refuses to marry him but they do live with each other and Freddy is the MOST JEALOUS MAN on the planet.
What's that saying?
"The Guilty Scream the Loudest."
Yep...that's Freddy in a nutshell.
This man goes out at least twice a month on ALL NIGHTERS. I'm talking he spends the night AWAY from the house. He always says he's going to "company parties" and that it's easier if he gets a hotel.
Why Petra just sits back and lets this man do this is BEYOND ME.
He won't even let her walk up the damn road to her own mother's house by herself. He pitches a fit when she comes to my house for a coffee.
She got a earfull from him last night because she came over here. He called her 3 damn times and she finally left when he threatened to walk over here. I told her; "Honey we can talk about this tomorrow but I am in NO MOOD for YOUR MAN. I don't want his ass up here tonight."
It's not like we could have talked with him up here anyway sooo....I sent her on home.
I really have no tolerance for people who cheat. My real father did that to my mother for years and it destroyed her for a long time. I mean what it did to her self confidence was almost criminal but ya know...she's fine now. She remarried a great guy.
I just don't understand "cheaters." Part of me really thinks they are born that way. My brother Mike has loved everyone of his wives but for some damn reason he can't be faithful to 'em. He cheats on every woman he gets. It's almost like a disease.
The good thing about this "disease" though is there is a cure.
It's called....MOVE YOUR ASS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND TELL THAT SUMBITCH TO KISS OFF.
No woman or no man deserves to be cheated on.
NOBODY DESERVES THAT!
posted by Maeve at 10:51 PM
World's Worst Guest Blogger.I have to admit I kind of regret telling Maeve that I would guest blog....
Can I be totally honest here?
I think I'm in the middle of a some sort of breakdown. I've never had one before so I'm not sure how this works.
Is it normal to chunk hammers and screwdrivers out a window just because you can't get a drawer to work?
Remember the movie; "The Exorcist"....yeah well when young Linda Blair's body was taken over by the Devil she took on his evil voice.
Well...that was pretty much me yesterday. All except for the green projectile vomiting that is.
I totally snapped for a few minutes.
I don't know.
I'm just tired I guess. My husband is on his second deployment in two years. I haven't heard from him in a few days. I'm hearing about 14 troops who were killed last night. I have no idea where my husband is in Iraq because his particular mission is sorta "hush hush" so he could be ANYWHERE.
Since he's been gone everything that could break in this house has. A very dear and close friend of mine died from cancer and she was here so I got to see that.
I had my own brother arrested while I was in the states on VACATION. Yeah that was a wasted 2 thousand bucks. Can I get my money back on plane tickets if the trip just totally sucks ASS?
I need a haircut and I know that's not a huge deal but Split Ends can be serious.
Oh and I've gained like a ZILLION pounds so now I actually jiggle when I walk. My ass is like a semi set bowl of fucking pudding. Bill Cosby needs to come over here and do a commercial on MY ASS. J-E-L-L-O!
There...it's all off my chest.
I'm the World's Worst Fucking Guest Blogger ever.
Maybe it'll be better tomorrow....who knows? I might chunk something bigger out the window.
Hope you all are having a GREAT DAY!
posted by Maeve at 4:26 AM
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Good DoggieI slipped back here into Maeve's place again this afternoon and damned if I didn't see that goatpup all decked out in duds getting ready to go to work. He did apologize about the bite yesterday but allowed he wuz just doing his job...but he did accept that pound of hamburger I brought him and says that is the best he's been fed EVER. Maeve takes his paycheck and feeds him left over Mexican food. He says he likes the Mexican food okay but it makes him fart. But he just blames it on the kid...
Maeve may be in trouble when she gets up there to Michigan. I found her passport on the desk here next to her PC..hey it is a nearly new PC! Nice too. I know damn well when she tries to go into Michigan they are gonna ask her for her passport. It is just the illegal aliens that they let in without one...
posted by Maeve at 11:05 AM
Maeve is Evil.
Man I hate to sound like a wet rag here but Maeve kind of sucks ass.
Whose wedding was she going to anyway?
Was it someone she claimed to CARE about or HATE?
I can't remember what that insane woman said but DUDE.....look who she hired to play at the reception.
This freakazoid named Freddie Cage. I mean the name of his album is "All My Friends are Dead."
That's gonna be a fun party huh?
And besides...it's an ALBUM. How old is this? The guy is gonna show up in a wheelchair maybe.
So I'm just gonna say it...."Not Cool Maeve...Not Cool at ALL."
posted by Maeve at 1:59 AM
Monday, August 20, 2007
Ta Ta for nowOk barflies, I guess this is it.
I leave my bar in the hands of your temporary bartenders.
What the fuck was I thinking?
Any way, behave and don't be holding any bible thumping classes here. The walls will fall down and everything will burn.
I'll only have a computer when I get to Spaz's or my Evil Auntie's house.
My dad has a computer, but I don't want him knowing I have this spot.
I've given the man enough gray hair as it is.
Much light and love to you all.
posted by Maeve at 9:45 PM
The apple does not fall far from the tree.Check it barflies.
This is my mom back when I was just a wee lass.
And yes, that is her bike.
Labels: Hot mama
posted by Maeve at 7:40 PM
posted by Maeve at 2:09 PM
What the?????I went out this morning to run a few last minute errands before hunkering down to pack.
When I came back GP was all wiggly happy and he had something in his mouth.
It was a piece of fabric, denim to be exact. I have a sneaky suspicion that Guy was here pulling some shenanigans.
I know he was looking for that bottle of hair tonic he wanted me to make up for him.
Too bad for him he took the wrong bottle.
Good thing he doesn't drink any more because I'm sure I'd find a big dent in my Jack Daniels bottle.
posted by Maeve at 12:57 PM
Maeve screwed up and gave me the keys to the house while she was gone..so I snuck in to take a look around...I guess she is at the beach getting some more of that sun tan. This place looks pretty good...what's that noise..NO WAIT! I'M A GUEST! DAWGS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BITE GUESTS! Gotdam Goat puppy. Maeve said he didn't bite...next time he bites me it will be in the heels instead of the ass because I will be runing. I hope she takes this sumbitch to Michigan or whereever in hell she is slipping off to.
posted by Maeve at 7:18 AM
Pass the whiskey please......I haven't started packing yet. I'll get to that this morning I swear! Right after I color my hair. So far to entertain you barflies while I am gone your bartenders will be
Guy, Sandy and Eric.
Be nice to them, don't poke them with sticks and tip them generously.
posted by Maeve at 6:12 AM
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Two more days!!!!Two more days until we leave for Michigan. I am excited, but dreading all the packing that has to be done. Spaz told me the evenings were a little cool and I might want to pack a sweat shirt. I laugh at you puny cool weather!
I had a blast at Lili's last night. I ended up staying the night because I forgot they close the Ortega Hwy. at 8:30 pm because of the construction. We played dominos, terrorized her teenage son & his girlfriend and watched movies.
Today I took Pudd'n & GP to the beach for the last time until we get back. I had several people come up and compliment me on how well behaved GP was and how much fun they thought it was that the dog likes to ride the boogie board.
Now I have to get off my lazy butt and start packing.
posted by Maeve at 5:47 PM
Saturday, August 18, 2007
A blast from the not too distant past
Going through these old pictures on floppy is fun. This picture was taken three years ago at Kerry & John's ill fated wedding in Mexico. I was the maid of honnor at this event. I hear their house is on the market now.
Yesterday Pudd'n and I had a blast at the beach. There were several dolphins just off shore feeding. They even jumped up and flapped their tails a few times.
The waves were nice and flat, very easy to get the GP up on the boogie board to go for a ride. Pudd'n just loves it when we go out there and join him.
People were on shore were having fun watching us and a few teenagers swam over to tell me what a cool dog they thought GP was. We were having so much fun I hated to leave. We had a chiropractor appointment to make. I hope the waves are just as nice tomorrow.
Last night I went to the M.A.C. store to get a few things for the wedding. All the girls looked like they put their make up on with a spackle. WTF is up with that? Not a gay guy in site to help me like last time. I honestly think they put it on better. So I got what I needed and trotted on over to the Estee counter, yes I could maybe gotten what I needed there, but M.A.C. has a bigger selection. Not so cookie cutter. On the way I noticed another make up counter that had some perfect eye shadows so I stopped. I was going to buy them, but then realized they were frost eye shadows.
I'm waaaaaayyy too old to be wearing frost on my lids. It makes me look tired. The girl tried to say I didn't look like I was over thirty. I tried not to choke on my laughter.
Now the picture I posted of me with the tarot cards, it is far enough away that you can't see the silver shooting through my hair. Not to mention that at the angle I was at, you can't see the big gray stripe at my temple.
I am up close and personal with this girl, gray hair and all and she's trying to tell me I don't look over thirty?
I'm just lucky Steve was not there, the comments he would of made.
posted by Maeve at 7:14 AM
Friday, August 17, 2007
Who couldn't love a face like that??Look at my boy, isn't he darling?
I am busy copying pictures from floppy disk to a CD. Pudd'n was about five in this picture I'm guessing. Pooh bear was his constant companion for the first six years of Pudd'ns life. He took that bear every where. It sits now on top of a shelf so Pudd'n can see him. He no longer carries it. He's a big boy now ya know.
posted by Maeve at 9:09 AM
Guess what time it is barflies?
Time for your bartender to get raging PMS. Lucky me/you/Steve.
In fact, aunt flo is supposed to make her arrive THE DAY OF MY SISTER'S WEDDING.
So after my last depressing post about my beloved Jack dog, I knew I needed to think of things that make me happy before I slide head first in to the black abyss.
So what did I think of to turn my frown upside down?
1. Well, remembering Spaz (in photo) dancing and singing into her hair brush. We always do stoopid shit like this when we get together. We are 12 years old all over again. This picture was taken last year in the hotel at my brother's wedding. I'm sure I'll have more
2. Realizing that tomorrow I'll be seeing my bitch Venus, she'll be in from AZ and we are meeting up with Lili. I think the last time the three of us were together was Lili's wedding day 3 years ago. Much alcohol will be consumed and I'm sure I won't make it home again.
3.Looking at the pictures from Chickie's visit. Medieval times was a blast.
4."I'm a sexay beast!!" Jack over at Incoherant Ramblings has his hands full with two young boys. His son "Bug" always delcares that he is a "Sexy Beast". I am going to borrow that phrase and keeping saying to myself as I feel all bloated and unattractive this next week.
5. And of course looking at my Pudd'ns face. That kid brings me more joy than he knows. I think I'll go kiss that sweet face right now.
posted by Maeve at 8:23 AM
I miss my Jack dog.This is a picture of GP laying with my very first dog Jack.
I miss him.
Jack was very
He did not.
His hearing was going and I believe he was stone deaf by the time I had to put him down a year after the back surgery. The surgery screwed up my dog. He now had a hard time getting up or laying down. He was no longer the guard dog. He no longer bounced all over the place when you walked in the door. He no longer ran around the corral as I rode my horse. In fact, he started coming in and walking right in the path of my horse.
GP misses Jack too. The few times we've come across one GP gets all excited thinking it is Jack until he gets the scent of the dog. Then his whole demeanor changes when he realizes it is not his long lost friend. I swear that dog actually looks sad when it hits him that the aussie dog in front of him is not his beloved Jack.
I miss my gooby dog.
posted by Maeve at 6:53 AM
I've been tagged again.
The very funny and witty Erica has tagged me with this meme. This really made my day to get this award again.
Chickie had given it to me a few months back. Or was it just last month? Hell, I'm lucky enought to know my name on a daily basis.
I will now tag Joe because I forgot to last time and feel like shit for forgetting to do so.
Thanks again Erica for putting a smile on my face today.
posted by Maeve at 6:35 AM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
If my son had the fine motor skills..........
For what ever reason Pudd'n has hated having his picture taken once the autism took him prisoner. For the first 18 mths of his life this kid would light up and give you a big smile for the camera.
Now, not so much.
If Pudd'n had the fine motor skills, I'm sure he'd be flipp'n me the bird.
Instead in this shot he is pointing to our beach chair and telling me "go go".
Pudd'n had language too before the autism. His first word was "daddy".
I always thought his first words would be "Goddamn it Jack knock it off".
(Jack was our hyper aussie dog)
The waves and tide were perfect at the beach today. Every thing was low and I didn't have to worry about my kid getting pounded head first in to the sand by a wave.
I got to visit my Voodoo masseuse and he managed to get me swear in several different languages. He is hell bent on getting the knots out of my back and the "scar tissue" loosend up from some old horse back riding accidents.
posted by Maeve at 9:40 PM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Just for IkeI was a busy witch tonight barflies.
I had several spells to cast and some cards to read. I asked Steve if he'd take Pudd'n to reiki by himself tonight so I could get my stuff done.
What I did not foresee was my neighbors grilling and eating on their patio tonight.
All they had to do was peek over our adjoining fence and see my altar(which I know they did). It got really quiet next door soon as my music cued up and the incense started burning. I pulled out all the stops for tonight's ritual because I needed to focus on my intent.
The beauty of where I live, they are very superstitious and won't fuck with me.
posted by Maeve at 8:39 PM
The REAL reason Vman has not been posting
I think I have found the real reason Vman has not been posting. It appears he's been busy building himself a new secret room to keep his monkey shrine and other assorted goodies in. Why, he's been working so long to build this little secret room he forgot to shave. Looks pretty hawt with that beard eh?
posted by Maeve at 8:25 AM
The keys to the Bar.This time next week I'll be in Michigan. I still have a boat load of little errands to do to get everything ready for our trip. GAh!
It just hit me that I should give some one the keys to keep you barflies entertained while I am gone. I have a few people in mind.
Who would you like to see here to entertain you?
posted by Maeve at 7:25 AM
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
The company that Steve works for had a health fair last week. Different health care professionals and services set up booths and try to intice you to useing their services. This year they actually had a booth dedicated to autism awareness.
Door prizes were given out and guess which one Steve won?
The door prize from the autism awarness booth.
It is a little cooler in the shape of a golf bag and filled with the goodies you see there. We gave the golfing stuff to my step dad and kept the rest. The cooler is the perfect size to take with me when we go to the beach.
posted by Maeve at 6:05 AM
Monday, August 13, 2007
Is it time to go home yet?I've been very up & down about my up coming trip home to my sister's wedding. I'm excited to see every one, but hate packing. Then there is getting all the crap ready for the trip. Since GP is Puddn's service dog he gets to ride in the plane with us. I still have to get him his health certificate and his shit packed too. I pick up my dress this thursday, it really is pretty once she made it fit. My brother is bringing me some pastys from my beloved U.P. Too bad he can't bring LL with him.
I dipped in to my Michigan fund to buy my soldier an ipod. I got him a shuffle like mine. I can't afford anything fancier. Linda comes home tomorrow so no more pool side fun for us. Well, no fun since the filter sprang a nasty leak. We went down to the beach today and had a nice time.
I went to Mich*el's craft store to pick up some soap. I'll make spaz up a bunch to bring back with me. They already have their Halloween stuff out and I was going crazy. So many cute "witchie" things. If I bring home one more Halloween decoration Steve will kill me.
And that Barflies is my exciting day.
posted by Maeve at 4:55 PM
Sunday, August 12, 2007
A Happy Belated OneGo on over and wish my
posted by Maeve at 7:22 AM
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Time to freak OUT.
Today I invited my cousin and her family down to Linda's to go swimming with us. I knew sandy would not be there until noon or so and figured I'd show up at the same time. Then I kept getting hit with an over whelming urge to hurry and get there. So I figured we'd get there at 11 and just start our fun sooner. Well I get there and we've got a problem. See that big white tank? Yeah? Well it had a 12 inch crack and was SHOOTING water every where. Lucky for me I was able to get a hold of Linda via cell phone. Her husband told me how to shut everything off. So no water falls for us to play in and we just ran a hose down the slide so no one scraped off their back sides. By the time I rememberd I had my camera, some of the water soaked in to the ground. It was flooded past the little brick wall and making it's way on to the upper patio. I shudder to think what would of happened had no one been there to check on things.
We played for a good six hours. I'm ready to die and Pudd'n is running around like he is on crack. Where the hell does that kid get his energy and how can I get some?
posted by Maeve at 6:35 PM
Friday, August 10, 2007
What do you think??My current soldier is ready to come home, so I signed up for a new guy/gal. I got Sgt. L, we exchanged photos and some small talk already. I'm glad Sgt. L is replying to my questions, it makes it so much easier to make up care packages when you know exactly what they want. This is the picture I sent Sgt. L. He said I looked like I was 25 years old. I really wanted to ask him what crack he was smoking, but felt that would be rude.
How old do you think I look??
posted by Maeve at 3:55 PM
RestApparently my oracle cards agree with the wonderful and wise Sheri
posted by Maeve at 3:51 PM
The seven P'sI stole this meme from
Groanin'Jock since he was not tagging any one.
1. Passion: Horses and hockey players. I like to ride both.
2.Purpose: To help my son emerge from his prison of autism.
3.Pursuit: Peace of mind.
4.Position: On top or doggy style (make sure you are pull'n the hair too).
5. Pummeling: Guilt and negative thoughts
6. Progress: I cleaned my house and found a spell book I was looking for.
7. Personality: Sarcastic.
posted by Maeve at 10:01 AM
WHAT.THE.FUCK??Pudd'n did not go to bed until after 3 am some time this morning.
Yes, 3 am.
At 1:30 I booted him out of our room (he sleeps in a bed next to ours) and told him to go watch tv in his room. When Steve got up 5:30 am he said Pudd'n was finally asleep.
I am whipped. And I feel like I've been beaten to boot. I was doing some serious snap, crackle, pop when I got up. Mr. Voodoo masseuse really loosened things up!
posted by Maeve at 7:24 AM
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Pleasure & PainI got another massage today from the "Voodoo" masseuse. This time he worked on my lower back to get the kinks out.
HOLY.SHIT. I AM. SORE.
I'm going to be moving real slow tomorrow. Pudd'n and I have been having a grand time at Linda's pool. My cousins are coming down Sat to go swimming with us. Should be fun.
And that is it for my exciting life barflies.
posted by Maeve at 8:14 PM
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
My sister's bachelorette party is coming up. I want to go
The girl that's giving the party wanted to make a penis cake for my sister. I just happen to have a mold
So I snail mailed the cake mold and the directions on making my darling baby sister her own purple headed warrior. I think she begged to have the party before I got there.
I'll get her and her
posted by Maeve at 10:27 PM
My pool side spaPudd'n and I are having a grand time at Linda's while she's gone. It is a crack up over how worried GP gets over us swimming in the pool. The dog could give a shit about the ocean, but put us in a nice calm pool and he's all in a dither.
I feel better now I got my hair cut. Maybe I just needed that hour of "me" time. I think she cut it shorter than I wanted, but I'm sure it needed it. The salt water and sun really fries my hair.
I'm getting a pretty good work out playing with Pudd'n in the pool. I got some water exersizes out of a fitness magazine, so I throw those in too while I'm at it. I won't be able to get to the gym that much this week with all of my appointments, so I'd better get my work outs where I can get them.
Well time for a quick nap before going to work. I need it.
posted by Maeve at 3:35 PM
Can't think of a title.Yesterday Pudd'n and I went over to Linda's house. She is out of town again and we get to play in her pool. GP would freak out every time I'd go down the slide, he'd come swim up to me and "heard/retrieve" me back to the shallow end. Then if I tried to go swim, he'd follow me. I kept telling him he was Pudd'ns service dog, not mine.
I went to go drop my brides maid dress off at the taylor only to find out that hes out of town for the week.
It is 2 weeks away from my sister's wedding. The taylor's assistant told me in broken Italian that her boss would be back in plenty of time to fix my dress. I think I'll crack open the phone book any way.
Today I get my hair cut and I'm frothing at the mouth to color it. I have to wait for the color since I'm still playing at the beach up until we leave.
And that barflies is my exciting day.
posted by Maeve at 6:45 AM
Monday, August 06, 2007
posted by Maeve at 8:51 PM
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy cards
Some times it really scares me just how spot on these cards are when I pull them. I've been in a real black mood for several days and I really do need to watch what I focus on. What you think about, you bring about.
posted by Maeve at 8:00 AM
Monday and other family drama
Libby stepped up to the plate and posted some cute pictures of her very shy hummers. They sure do give lots of entertainment. Mine are fighting over breakfast right now.
I talked to my sister yesterday, she's already stressing over her up coming wedding. I'm trying to stay calm as well and am failing miserably. The hall told her that if there was no other weddings the night before hers, she could decorate. Now they are telling her no, she has to come the morning of the wedding.
I told her to get all "bridzilla" on them, she's good at that. I have to mail her out my penis cake mold and directions on how to make a cake. They are having the party before I get there. I'm also bouncing between my Evil Auntie's house and my dad's house. I'm a bit pissed about that. Instead of making my brother pay for a hotel room, I'm expected to shell out for one. I'm only already putting out several thousand dollars to come out. Yeah sure, my dad chipped in for the first time ever and paid for the tickets. But I'm still paying for a rental car, suit for Steve, my bridesmaid dress and accessories, food, gas and anything else that comes up.
Lucky for me my soon to be BIL said "why don't they stay here the night of the wedding". So we'll be house sitting and dog sitting the night of the wedding. Fine by me. I was going to seriously flip if I had to shell out over $100 for a hotel.
Ok, enough bitching. It does no good to dwell on things. All it does is make me more depressed.
Hope every one is having a better weekend/ week than me right now.
posted by Maeve at 7:02 AM
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Good things come from CanadaOk, I have spent a good 20 minutes or more trying to do some links. It is not working and I'm getting pissed off.
For what ever reason blogger is not letting me do two links in this post, so if you all want to, you are going to have to go over to my side bar and click on them.
All righty then, on to good things that come from the great white north.
1. Sheri & Chickie
2. The beautiful necklace Chickie gave me. I have gotten several compliments on it tonight at work.
3. The bottle of Crown Royal Chickie gave me. CR is a real treat. I usually only drink it when I go home and see my buddy Mitch. He turned me on to whiskey when I was a wee lass.
4. HOCKEY PLAYERS!!!
posted by Maeve at 9:41 PM
More birds for Libby
Today we went to the zoo because I was going to pop my wrists if I had to go to the beach again. Yeah, I know it's tough lounging on the beach. But when you do it for every day 4-5 hours at a time. Ugh.
One of the first things we went to go see was the humming bird house because I like to
posted by Maeve at 3:01 PM
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Just for Libby
I'll show you mine if you show me yours! Here are two of the four of my hummers that I have in my yard. One little guy kind of blends in with my plumeria plant. They are such a joy to watch.
posted by Maeve at 8:20 PM
The StarTonight I asked a yes or no question of my tarot deck and I got this auspicious card. It looks like a "yes" answer to me.
Chickie had asked me who does tarot card readings for me. I can't remember the last time I had some one read my cards. It has been years. Reading my own cards is hard, reading Steve's is next to impossible because I am so close to him. When ever I do a card reading, I don't want to know your question. I don't want it to influence me while I read your cards.
Labels: drunken tarot card readings
posted by Maeve at 8:13 PM
Friday, August 03, 2007
Sex toysTonight Pudd'n went to my mom's house so we thought we'd stop by and pick up some goodies from the sex shop down the street from our house. I saw a "make your own dildo kit" and got a great idea.
Steve will be cremated when he dies, so I thought it would be fun to make a dildo of his pecker and use it as "head stone" for the top of his box.
I was ready to pee myself with laughter over this.
Steve did not find the humour in it.
make your own dildo
posted by Maeve at 8:13 PM
No wonder I drink some days.Like the new look barflies? The lovely and lush Chickie spruced things up a bit for me! Thank you so much! :)
GP's ears are all clear. I'm still going to have to go back for a health cert. for when we fly. You have to get one of those ten days before you fly. I don't mind, I wanted to make sure his ears were all clear before we got on a plane. The new vet seemed nice enough. It is a new facility and pretty impressive looking.
I'm ready for a nice neat glass of Crown Royal compliments of Chickie after the visit though. GP does not like the vets and tries to get his largess (100 lbs) in to my lap. Then of course you have Pudd'n who can't stand doctors of any kind. I have to bring several things to occupy him and then to have GP all up and under me.
posted by Maeve at 3:12 PM
Bad Mommy, I need a spanking.I'm a bad mommy today.
I'm not going to the beach.
I'm tired of the beach.
By the time Pudd'n and I got up and I got him to my mom, it was pretty late in the day (for us). We would not have had much time for the beach since I have to take GP in to the vet today. I didn't feel like loading up all that crap and schleping it down to the beach, bring it back, get us cleaned up, him fed and out the door again.
I want to relax a bit today. I did get all the appointments that I needed to make before leaving for Mich. (dentist, hair, obgyn). That trip is going to be coming fast upon us.
So here I sit. Bad mommy letting her kid sit in front of the computer & tv all day.
I'll do the beach tomorrow.
posted by Maeve at 12:28 PM
T.G.I.FWell, every day has been a "Friday" for me since school got out in June. Pudd'n goes to grandmaland tonight. I have a feeling Steve and I will be passed out by 8pm.
I had a nice nap on the beach yesterday, but was still dragging my ass the rest of the afternoon. Chickie called yesterday to tell me they were 10 min. from the great white north, so they made all their connecting flights and stuff.
Today I take GP in to have his ears checked, they are getting that funky smell of beeing infected again. I'll take my
What are your plans for the weekend?
posted by Maeve at 6:48 AM
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Silence is not always golden.Oh my gosh it is so quiet and empty with out my guests! Everything is just about back to where it goes. I hope their flight home goes well, she's got a very short lay over and is worried about making her connection.
I wish they could of stayed longer. There was still so much to do and see. Chickie spent most of yesterday just trying to get everything in order for today. We had to even buy another suit case she had so much to bring back.
Well we are off to the beach. Now it is my turn to start worrying and stressing over our impending trip home. I still have to get my dress in to be altered.
posted by Maeve at 9:30 AM
Just got back from the air port. Got up there & back with no problems. Now it is back to reality for me! Chickie vamped up my blog roll with blog lines. Pretty cool no?
I'm looking forward to taking a nice looooooong nap at the beach today.
posted by Maeve at 6:02 AM
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
The house of mouse went much better than expected for our traveling crew. Puddn went to grandma's house for the evening, so Steve and I were able to get our freak on.
When we went to pick up Chickie, I had a nice big to go cup filled with some wine for her. We then moved to the Cosmos when we got home and proceeded to get blind stinking drunk. The tarot cards were brought out and I did several readings. Steve and I actually stayed up past midnight barflies!
Poor Dolly was feeling under the weather, so I took Pudd'n and Ike down to the beach for a few hours while Chickie tried to get things packed. Me and the boys had a great time in the surf. It will be an early morning for us, I have to get them to LAX by 5 am for a 7 am flight.
I will miss them.
It was really fun to watch Dollly & Ike interact. They'd push each other's buttons as siblings do. Ike is very polite and well mannered. A very sweet young man. Dolly's name is perfect for her, you want to pick her up and squeeze her like she was a baby doll. She and Pudd'n would take turns playing on the computer and putting movies in the DVD, he did not mind sharing his room at all. Best of all, he kept his underpants on while they were here.
We've got some great pictures that I'd like to share, but Chickie requests her image not to be shown. So I'll give you this little teaser of her.
Labels: hung over