First Day of School

Ya know...just because you squeeze out a baby that does not mean you will always understand them and it sho' don't mean they are going to grow up and be anything like yourself.

My daughter and I are somewhat complete opposites. She has even gone so far as to tell me that if we were in school together she would probably HATE me.

I was and still am a bit of a "social butterfly" but my kid? No way. She is just not a friendly person. I love her to pieces but man is she a tough nut to crack.

In High School I used to get yelled at by my entire family every single morning. I would use sooo much damn hairspray that the fumes would choke my family out. I guess my Aqua Net would seep up the hallway and really aggravate my brothers & parents.

My daughter? She's a teenager but I would swear some days she doesn't even brush her hair. She's got that "skateboarder punk" look thing going on.

I used to absolutely LOVE school and my daughter would rather drink shots of Clorox bleach than go.

I lived on the telephone when I was her age and my daughter most times refuses to even take a call. She tells me to take a message.

The night before the first day of school I would hardly be able to sleep because I was soo excited and all I could think about was my NEW OUTFIT!

My daughter? This morning was their first day of school and I will say that she did seem to put some EFFORT into looking nice today but she didn't wear anything new I had bought. She wore some old clothes. It just doesn't mean anything to her and for the life of me I can't understand that.

I gave her a bottle of new perfume this morning just as a Going Back to School treat and she didn't even open the box. I saw it on her dresser after she left.

She is finally old enough to leave campus for lunch and last year she wouldn't even eat in the cafeteria. Her and a friend hid out in a Science Lab every single day and ate all alone.

This year and I do hate to be pushy with her but I HAVE to be sometimes. I refused to pack her a lunch. I gave her money instead and told her IF she wanted to eat she was going to have to actually....*GAG*....SOCIALIZE and BE WITH PEOPLE!

I don't get it.

She can go to Taco Bell, Burger King, the Pizza Place, grab a Gyro or Subway......she can WALK off campus and be loud and obnoxious with the other kids and she has no interest whatsoever in doing that. For 9 years of school she has eaten a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich and I'm talking EVERY DAMN DAY. That's all she wants but I want her to try something else now. I want her to TALK to people. I know that's a difficult concept for her but she needs to. Her people skills are sooo crappy right now.

When people talk to her sometimes she just stares at them and that just UNNERVES me to no end. I don't know how many times I have had to "pinch" her to make her speak.

I keep telling her that there is a FINE LINE between being RUDE and SHY and she was skirting on that line a little too much.

I know she's shy but I also know she can be an ass. She's rude. She's my kid and I'll say it. She can be very very rude to people.

Part of it is she absolutely doesn't know HOW to talk to folks. She needs practice.

I kind of feel like one of those pushy over grown Jock Dads. You know the ones? The ones who couldn't play football for shit but when they have their own son they FORCE him to play and do well.

I'm not trying to make my daughter into some sort of "Southern Belle Debutant" but damn...I just want her to SMILE and be a little bit friendly.

That's not too much to expect or want...is it?

I just don't get it.

My daughter is beautiful, smart, funny and soo artistic. She is just soo creative and when she does talk she is always interesting.

I know she's a loner and probably always will be but having a few friends in life won't hurt. She's in High School...she's supposed to be having FUN, screwing off, doing silly shit, being crazy......

Isn't that insane? I WANT my daughter to do something BAD sometimes...haha.

Well...not BAD but you know?

Oh well...

She looked Great today and she did seem to be a little bit more confident than I had seen her before.

She even SMILED when I kissed her good-bye.

Hmmm....maybe today will be good for her. Maybe this will finally be her year to shine.

I sure do hope so..


Sandy