Yesterday was one of those days where I was thiiiiiiiiiiis close to a nervous break down. The van is at the dealerships for starting problems. Of course, since it is there, it has been starting with no problems and the tech. looked at me as if I was on crack. I left the dealership ready to cry from fustration and took Jack in for his check up. He passed with flying colors and the vet was amazed at how well he is doing. It was around lunch time and I figured since I was so close to Pudd'ns school, I'd take him out to lunch and give him a half day of school. There is a strip mall with a little out door plaza for eating, so Jack could come with us. I NEEDED some nachos, so we headed to a little Mexican place first. They sell beer, but you cannot take it out to the patio area. No problem I tell Juan, just give me the beer and I assure you, by the time my nachoes hit the take out counter, it will be empty. He handed me the beer and I proceed to slam it down and it definitely was gone by the time the nachoes were ready. I got the stink eye from two up tight ladies, "fuck you too, it's almost noon" I wanted to say. Juan just stood there in amazement of my swallowing abilities. Then Pudd'n and I went to get him a slice of pizza and we enjoyed our lunch on the patio. Thursday is grandma land day, so we headed to my mom's. I started to tell her about the van and she said "wait, I have a surprise for you". She produced a card out of an envelope. "I was cleaning and I came across this". I opened the card and recgonized the writing. It was from my beloved Grandma. Right then and there I lost it. I started bawling like a baby. My poor mom, she thought it was going to bring a smile on my face (well maybe another day it would of) and here I came sobbing in her lap. I can handle the every day mundane stress, but the shit that has been coming my way is just too much for me right now. I didn't need the added stress of the van, steve's reaction the van, Jack's illness, the money spent on Jack's illness and steve's reaction over THAT. It may seem like it is not that much to you, but top it on the every day non verbal child that shits in a diaper, pees on the bathroom floor instead of the toilet, a puppy (ugh), worrying if you are doing a good job with diabled child, gas prices (2.35 a gallon! what the fuck is that all about?!) and you know what. That list goes on, I'm sure you don't want to hear it, so I'm just going to stop my whiney rant right here. Instead I'll whine on how much I miss my grandparents. Their absence leaves a big black gaping hole in my heart. Yes, I know that they are "around me", but I miss them here on the physical plane. I miss my grandma's soft hands stroking my cheek and telling me everything will be ok. I miss picking up the phone and my grandpa telling me "hello beautiful".
I need to go to the store and get some Vodka, I need a lemon drop martini.
We are going to the renaissance Fair tomorrow. The distraction is greatly needed. Hopefully all those women with their boobs popping out will put Steve in a better mood. Venus is coming with us (hopefully Dru too) so at least I'll have a shopping partner. Lili won't be there, so that will suck, who will I get drunk with?? *heavy sigh*. I need to get pudd'n ready and out the door for school.