Nick: Maeve ---My Yahoo profile

---Witches Brew!

Quote: ~Welcome to my bar, pull up a stool and have a few shots. I am the mother of a beautiful, yet challenging son with autism. And yes, I'm a witch.

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Friday, October 31, 2003

HAPPY SAMHAIN TO ALL MY BEOTCHES!

Happy new year! May the Goddess bless you with what you want, not just what you need!
Had a GREAT trick or treating! This is the first year that pudd'n actually got it. Go up to a house, get candy. We went blocks, not just a few houses on our street. It was awesome. At one point after he got some candy he stopped, turned around and gave me a big hug. I almost started crying. He got it. The "window" was open and my son was "there". He and Mr. S looked so damn cute dressed a like. The lantino men in the 'hood enjoyed my costume. What a crack up that was! Babs came down with a bottle of Chevis, pizza hut delieverd dinner. All is well in my world. I am SO geeked over how well pudd'n did tonigh.

The costume party was a success at puddn's school. There were a lot of great costumes! The cup cakes were a hit too. Puddn was NOT happy to have to wear a costume, hopefully he'll change his mind when he sees that we will be dressing up too. I took him home after the party, he was happy to have half day. We went straight to the pumpkin patch to use up our tickets and have the last day of fun before they pack up and go. I even when on the giant blow up slide twice (vicodin here I come!). It was a blast! Pudd'n was so happy to have me up there with him. We raced to the bottom on our stomachs. Well I need to jump in the shower and get my self all dolled up! Can't wait for the big party tomorrow!! A night out with my Mr
:)

Thursday, October 30, 2003

It's Yule in Oct.

Mr. S had a little surprise for me tonight. It is a lovely silver necklace, it's a Celtic knot for "eternal love".
In Ireland, their silver is just as expensive as our gold here. It is a lovely piece, very heavy. You can tell the difference. I absolutely LOVE IT! Guess what Mr. S will be getting this weekend!
Had a very busy evening. Carved 2 pumpkins, made the cup cakes, cleaned the house and took pudd'n to the pumpkin patch. The look of joy on his face is priceless. I will be sad when they go. I also got to catch my boys on t.v. I swear to Goddess they fought more than played hockey. We couldn't get over it. At one point the announcer said "there's the puck, they dropped it" (during a face off) and the 2nd announcer said "forget the puck, who else is going at it?" It was great!

Yes, it's me again! It's MY blogg and I can write in it as much as I want and say what ever I want. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself. I didn't invite you, you came on your own. For what I do not know, I don't know what you think you will gain from this. I am no longer part of your psycho drama............Good bye.
On a happier note, I think I will ask Paul to bring me back a St. Brigid's silver pendant. She is a protector of children and pudd'n can wear it. It was so cute today when I picked him up from school. His cousin was in the car and he got the BIGGEST smile on his face when he saw her, it was so damn cute. I hope they stop by tomorrow night to trick or treat here. I'd love to get pictures of them.

*SQUEALING WITH DELIGHT*

Guess what I got?! No, not a negative pregnancy test...........hee hee I got a REAL St. Brigid's cross all the way from the mother country of Ireland!!!! Yeah me! Mr. S works with a few of my kindred folk and one just got back from Ireland. She brought me a lovely cross, pudd'n a green teddy bear (made in china!) and a tie tack for Mr. S. It turns out Paul will be going this week, so I need to figure out what I want him to bring me back. Maybe one of those lovely plates that say "Ireland" on it? Whiskey I can get any time, I want something pretty to look at and dust. Well ok, I don't dust........Maybe once every 6 mths if I'm lucky.
I took my darling niece to go get the Samhain costume today, then we went and got our nails done. She picked out a cute "geanie" outfit. I had a bit of a heart attack............I think she's too young, but it's what she wanted. It's a tasteful one, her belly is just peeking out a bit. The sales girl saw the look of horror on my face (you know the one of realization that your baby is growing up?) and she patted me saying "it's ok, it's just once a year". Any way, she looks cute, it's purple. I got to be room mom today for only an hour, that sucked, but have to play fair. A fuck being fair! I want to be there all day having fun with the kids. I hope I get to sub at Oak Grove again, that was a blast. I had 7 special day kids and 8 regular ed.
Man do I admire those teachers! On a sad note, one of my beloved goldfish died. I buried him in the back yard in my garden. I heard that fish is good fertilizer, is that true Geraldine? I picked up my hair dye, Goddess did I need it! Now I just have to do it. Ugh, the price I pay to be drop dead gorgeous.......lmao!
Ok, so maybe you girls don't feel I lead a boring life, compared to Lili & Venus I do. But hey, I like it this way. It's kind of like complaining about Mr.S. he may be a hemorrhoid at times, but he's MY hermeroid and I would not trade him for all the whiskey in Ireland.

Good Morning Dear Readers.
Hope you are enjoying my diary entry's, because that is exactly what this place is. A place to vent, feel and get things off my chest. If you do not like what you read, then don't bother coming here. I'm sure you have better things to do with your life. These are the feelings that I am having at this time and felt I had a safe place to put them. I created this space for a few select friends to read and have fun commenting on. I doubted that I would make the "best read list" of this site. I have nothing exciting to write about. I lead a nice dull life and I plan to keep it that way. So dear readers, again, if you do not like what I put in here please move on. I'm sure there are more exciting bloggs to read or create yourself.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Are we having fun yet? I am hocking up big loogies, yum! At least the smoke out side is clearing just a little. It does not seem that bad.........yet. I feel so bad for all those people losing everything. On a happier note, I am making owl cup cakes for pudd'ns class room. I also got little plastic pumpkins to fill with goodies for his class mates. They are going to have a halloween parade. It should be fun.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Well I was right, I called the potential new job and the answer was "no". You need to start out on lunches and work your way to nights. Since I have to drive pudd'n to & from school, I cannot work a lunch shift.
Well you drew the Ace of pents you say? I can only guess that there IS a new job for me, I just have to be paitence (fuck!) and wait, hence the hanged man that I drew the next day (the day of the interview). So here I sit (or hang?) and wait. Well no, I really don't sit.........you can't make things happen if you just sit around. So back to the spell books!

Demora of Omaha's Wild Animal Kingdom

You would think we would get a fucking clue. Mr.S wakes me up to tell me there is a live mouse behind the hutch and the terrier is going nuts. Great! Where is Beastmaster Lisa when you need her? Isn't she applying for this kind of job or something? So out come the brooms & stuff..........We've done this before.
Dumb terrier won't get the hell out of the way and I have to shoo her off with the broom.........Ok I threatened her with bodily harm. Shooing was not doing the trick. The dumb mouse manages to run into the half of the sliding glass door that does not open and proceeds to run from the WIDE open half. It gets behind my computer table where it was cornered and unfortunately killed by Mr. S.
My throat is killing me today and I could not get to sleep past midnight last night. I'm getting a little tired of the universe telling me to "slow down". The accident was bad enough, now I have to have a fucking cold the week before the big party? WTF? I am trying to get my self in a better frame of mind for the party. My girls won't be there, yeah sure I know a few people, but it won't be the same. They are nice people, I just don't have the closeness that I share with the girls. And the ones I USED to be close with will probably act like I have the fucking plauge because they can't think for themselves and blindly follow the leader. Well that is my opinion any way. I may be pleasantly surprised and they may act nice. Waa Waa, yes, I want some cheese to go with my whine. Fuck the cheese.........I want some chicken soup. On the bright side, maybe I can drop 5 lbs by this weekend. Is that sick or what? Yah, bring on the sore throat! Can't eat and don't want to! I'm also pissed because now I won't be able to sub today and I forgot to call on the other job yesterday. Iam so cranky right now I cannot stand myself. I want my Mommy!
I know, this is all Gerldine's fault! There ya go! I can now do a banishing or better yet, I'll whip out my Voodoo doll! OOOOOOOOO Scary!
I guess I'll go look up "mouse" in my totem book. I'm sure you all are tired of hearing me whine & rant.
Oh well, it's MY blogg! I can whine and rant all I want! So there! Neeeeaaaahhhhhhhh!

Monday, October 27, 2003

Well I think I'm coming down with the flu. Just what I need before the big party this weekend. I'm hoping I can make it to sub tomorrow. Had a great time tonight with the girls. We seem to function better on our own, sure as hell getting a lot more accomplished and learned. I also forgot to call the place that I interviewed for. I'll call tomorrow. Usually when they say "call me later", that means "sorry, we don't need you". I'll find out for sure when I call.

Ok, my turn:

Road trip: "the movie"

Honey: pour it over Brenden Shanahan and lick it off

Flanders: Ned

Vampire: LeStat

Juctice: Libra

Marine: I've done a couple for my country

Protractor: bend over and cough?

Rubber: cement

London: fog

Jerry: Garcia

Sunday, October 26, 2003

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saw Scary Movie 3 today, we enjoyed it. Always up for a good laugh. As I left work tonight slappy says to me "See you next Sunday". Good boy slappy.............you got it right!!

Saturday, October 25, 2003

What a wonderful morning, it is the community garage sale and we walked around to look at everything. The benefit of living in a heavily populated Lantino area is all the good food!! It was like going down to "T- town" and not having to cross the boarder.
We at Tamales, tacos and gorditas. Fresh salsa! YUM! The dogs had a great time sniffing everything in site and Pudd'n played on the gym sets through out the village.
It was cool to see how everyone decorated their homes for Samhain. I picked up a few items. A cute flag with a witch flying on it, an abalone shell and a few other nic nacks. The only black cloud (literally) on the day is the heavy smoke from the fires blocking the sun. It is giving everything an eerie glow.

Friday, October 24, 2003

Work sucked big time tonight. I made 1/2 of what I usually do. We had a bartender on top of it, so there went more of my money. I came in with a pretty big 'tude too.
You could feel the frost vibrating off of me. Slappy comes up to me and says "we MAY be able to give you next weekend off". Well that is an improvement from "no". But not good enough. Seems my call into his partner helped things along. Poor Mario tried to smooth things over. I think being a Latino, he's a little more supersticious and does not want to piss of the witch. That or he realizes that I'll quit over this. Any way, no one got in my way tonight, no one harassed me, so that was a blessing. I had a pretty crappy day and was not in the mood for any one's shit.

Trying to get my blood pressure to come down............
I've got the soothing music going and some incense burning. On my way home my phone rings and it's slappy. Could I come in tonight at 6pm instead of 4:30? No problem I say, luckily for me & him, he did not start in on next weekend. I am making a candle for a gift basket and Iam trying my hardest to calm down. Just looking at the name on the caller I.D. elevated my blood pressure to new heights. I don't want this anxiety & stress and the feeling of wanting to choke the shit out of some one who needs it desperately to go into this candle! So here I blogg.......I cannot do poems like Athena or Alice. I don't want to start screaming or hitting pillows, don't need to freak out pudd'n.
On the room mom thing, I chatted with the teacher more on that. I can stay for 1-2 hours, not the whole day. The principal is worried that other parents that are not as qualified (or as "cool" as Colette said)as I am wanting to stay and do more harm than good in a class room. So Ms. Perky O/T is off the hook of my wrath. Althought I do have a feeling she piped up about something.
When I was pregnant, I had this wonderful dream of being the house on the block where all the kids would hang out to play. My children would have lots of friends, we'd do the arts & crafts, would have the swing set, be on the team sport that my kids had liked..........The whole nine yards. That dream came crashing down on the day at the neurologist office as he told us that "yes, he is autistic". I may have the swing set in the yard, but it is missing friends to play on it. Yes, I may do the arts & crafts, but it is pretty much "forced", he has no interest in them as the same with sports. What is my point in all this? I had a lot of fun yesterday in pudd'ns class room. I got to play with a lot of kids and do crafts.......It was kind of like living that dream. I could pretend that it was my house and these were Pudd'ns friends and life was "normal". Now, like everything else in my life, I am going to have to "settle" for what I can get.

FUCK! I have to wait until Monday to find out if I get the job or not. The biggest problem is that I will have to work some lunches.......I have to leave by 1pm to pick up pudd'n. That is the biggest draw back, so he'll let me know by Monday afternoon. Now I just have to spend all weekend holding my temper and avoiding slappy. Which is going to be hard on both parts. No, the hardest thing is going to be staying out of the Halloween candy.......I'm so stressed right now.

It is time to open a big can of whop ass. Seems that a certain ot/pt teacher has something to hide. Yesterday I was having lunch in the teacher's lounge and an ot/pt (what ever the fuck she is) was in there too. This said teacher also works at the previous school pudd'n was at.( I pulled puddn from that school because his new teacher had a problem with screaming at developmental disabled students. I've heard her tirade first hand.) Normally a parent volunteer just stays for an hour, I got to stay the day because of my drive and the fact that I help out with lunch. So this ot starts whining about "confidentiality".......What? You got something to hide bitch? I don't repeat what you boneheads babble on about, what I WILL do if I hear or see you mistreating a "differently abled child" I WILL OPEN MY MOUTH! When I go to pick pudd'n up, I will discuss this more with the teacher. If the ot has something to hide, I do not want her any where near my child. Maybe I'd better start finding out the days & times she is there and sit in on the sessions. How about that Ms. Perky? Don't fuck with me lady, you won't like it. So for now it looks as if I will only be able to help out in pudd'ns class for the morning hour on Thursdays. We'll see.......
I am nervous about my interview this morning. In a way I feel bad about leaving slappy in the lurch, but I gave him ample notice on the required days off. I will work any Christian holiday with no problem, I do NOT work on Sahaim. I feel it is time for me to move on any way. He's got the place up for sale and you never know if they will keep the staff. Well I think I will go do some dishes and then start to get ready.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Had a great day as room mom. Got to use glitter & glue for the art project! Just what Autistic kids like, pretty shiney things that make a big mess! I also went and applied at two restaurants for a job, I have an interview tomorrow. I am not looking forward to telling slappy that I'm quitting (again). Mr. S got his costume, he will be a pirate like pudd'n. Too cute. Well some one is flooding the bathroom with bath water. Guess he's ready to get out.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Well I am hopeful, a friend told me of a restaurant that is hiring. I used to work with the bartender and her husband owns the place. So with any luck, I'll have a new job soon. All my non wiccan friends have the darn night off........They are all amazed that I don't. I have worked EVERY major holiday EXCEPT Sahaim! Stay tooned folks, we'll see what happens!
On a happier note......Federov who? My boys SPANKED the opposing team! 4-1 and my Shanny got into a fight at the end of the game. He got a shiner, I bet if I gave him a blow job he'd feel better!!!

Wow! Mr. S said I could quit working for Slappy if I did not get next Friday off! I am going to go to another restaurant tonight after the healers and see if they are hiring. I'd rather have something lined up before I walk the plank!
My boys are playing tonight and I've got the hockey package! Whhhhhoooooooohooo!
So I have that to look forward to. Any one want to come over for hockey?! I am trying to capture the good feeling I had last night after Cindy's class. I know I had some heavy dreaming, but can't remember squat. I think I'll go have some breakfast. Mr. S is home for the day, so we are all playing "hookey", Pudd'n is happy to have the day off of school.

Ok, so I am trying to keep a positive attitude about not having Sahaim off. Or who knows, maybe a miracle will happen and slappy will pull his head out of his ass and realize IT'S FUCKING HALLOWEEN, NO ONE WANTS TO GO TO A DAMN RESTAURANT AND EAT! THEY ARE GOING TO PARTIES AND PASSING OUT CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Got a darling Sahaim card from my girlfriend in Texas today. Can't believe it is next weekend. Subbing went great, it is actually a position that needs to be filled. I am going to call the teacher and see I will be able to apply for it. That would be nice, not having to argue with Slappy on trying to get nights off. I'd also have the weekends off too. I managed to kill my front lawn, I am so PISSED. I put fertilizer down and it burned the shit out of my grass. So I guess I'll go pick up some grass seed to see if I can do some damage control.
My poor dog's allergies are out of control with this stupid hot weather. I've got "tumble weeds" of dog hair all over the house. I can't wait until this stupid strike is over with too. The real joke is Rev. Jackson "supporting" the strikers.......He's only doing it to get his name in the paper. To me he is nothing but a "glory hound".

Ugh, I am not in the mood for subbing today, but the money is good. Well when I get the check it is. I only get paid once a month. Tomorrow I think I will start looking for a new job at night. I am pissed that slappy is telling me I can not have two nights off in a row. That is B.S. Besides, I need more hours and he cannot give them to me right now. What I REALLY need to do is get off my butt and start some spell work for a day job that pays good $$$ while Pudd'n is at school. That way I'm home every night and Mr. S can get a much needed break.
I am bummed Lili will not be here for Sahaim. This year it means so much more to me. I definitely want to put together a good ritual to celebrate. I've already taken baby steps to changing a few things in my life. I am excited! Every time I think of last night and how nice it was, it lifts my spirits. The energy was so nice, like sitting next to a smooth running stream in a nice quiet Forrest. Then those nasty little gnomes showed up.......Oh wait.....That was Lili's son. LMAO! Just kidding. I had to resist the urge to pinch his darling cheeks. She is in SO much trouble when that kid starts dating. Her phone will be ringing non stop. Well I am babbling, I need to be making lunches and getting out the door.

Monday, October 20, 2003

Had a great time with the girls tonight. Got a lot accomplished and some great ideas for how we want to proceed with the path we want to take in our faith. The energy was definitely there, everything felt right.

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Work was slow tonight, that sucked. Had a nice day at the pumpkin patch with Pudd'n. Then while I worked, he went to grandma land. I got the dogs washed too, man did they need it. Looking forward to tomorrow at Lili's. Got some great ideas to share and look forward to everyone's input on what they want to do. I wore some cute shoes Lili gave me, only problem is they have heels. Now my hip hurts. Ugh.
Can my life get any more boring? Oh wait......boring is good......no drama or trama for me thanks!!!

How Would YOU Take Over the World?

A Day in Our Life..........

Carney: Exscuse me sir, is that your son? The one carrying the teddy bear?

Mr.S: Yes it is

Carney: By any chance is he Autisitc?

Mr.S: Yes he is

Turns out this new carney manning Pudd'ns favorite ride is working with special needs kids. He baby sits a 6 year old autistic boy that has similar traits to Pudd'n. So while Pudd'n happily spent and hour going up & down the inflatable slide, Mr. S got to chat.
Work was actually decent, that was nice. Slappy has been in a real good mood since deciding to sell the shop. He's actually showing he has a sense of humor, case in point:

Cameron (the hottie cook): Why are you looking at me like that?

Me: Like what?

Cameron: with that look of evil on your face!

Slappy: Trust me, you haven't seen her real evil yet..........

Cameron was being a smart ass. It is so easy to fuck with his head. Just give them an evil smile and they start to squirm. And yes, Slappy has seen my truly evil look......He hid the kitchen knives on that occation.

Friday, October 17, 2003

FRIENDS
I have been blessed all my life with some pretty good friends. I look back and think of the ones that are no longer in my life and I miss some of them. All friends have valuable lessons for you to learn from. I thank the friends that I no longer see on a daily (or even once a month) basis for the lessons I've learned from them. I thank my "soul sisters", two ladies I've had the pleasure of knowing for many, many years.
I will keep them good friends because they know WAY too much about me and could make big bucks on a tell all book if I ever become famous. Just kidding, they know all my deep dark secrets and my quirks and still love me. I also have the pleasure of more recent "soul sisters". I have not known these girls as long, but boy have I learned a lot! My life is very rich with all the friends I know and I am grateful for them in my life. My son is my biggest teacher in my life, I have learned more from him in the short seven years he has been alive than the thirty that I lived before him. I also thank my friends for the emotional support, booze, brownies and a shoulder to cry on when life is just so damn difficult. My bank account may be in the negative, but the abundance of girlfriends (and one really good guy friend.....He introduced me to Jack Daniels at the tender age of 14) is rich beyond belief.
Love you all very much.
xoxoxo

Pudd'ns surgery went well yesterday. He only had one tiny cavity and his teeth are growing in nice. They cleaned his teeth, sealed the rest and filled the cavity. Puddn then went to Grandma land so we could go out for our 10 year anniversary. We had a real nice lunch and really made pigs of ourselves. I called Spaz and her son's MRI went well, now we just wait for results. Gil is home from the hospital and healing well, soon they will start the chemo to shrink tumor. I just told my other "soul sister" about this place. I wonder if she will stop by and read my deep thoughts! LOL! Yeah, real deep and exciting. Any way, the cable tech is coming out today to look at my computer, so I will be off line later this morning. Hopefully he can figure out what the heck happened.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Who could of guessed this answer??? You are Samantha! You're sexy, sassy and a bit of a slut! You're older than you look and you have certainly lived! Men don't have any power over you, you're the one in control%

You are Samantha! You're sexy, sassy and a bit of
a slut! You're older than you look and you
have certainly lived! Men don't have any power
over you, you're the one in control and you
love to show then who's boss! Deep down though
you are searching for true love.

"A 'Sex and the City' quiz"
brought to you by Quizilla

Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a
good communicator. Incredibably loving and
loyal when your trust is gained and you are
fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is
in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river
but nobody truly knows you.

What's your element
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LOOK WHAT LISA SHOWED ME TO DO!!!!!!!

You're Most Like The Season ... NO wait! Hold it!
You're not like a season at all! You're a
psycho... You need a new season created just
for you.
You either answered wildly to be different, or you
truly are a 'special case'. Independant -
maybe, Intelligent - somewhat. Weird and wacky
- most certainly.
A nut case, a fruit cake, the joker, the insane
lunatic :) However be careful or you may get
locked up.

Well Done... You're not at home in any of the
seasons, you creat your own.

?? Which Season Are You ??
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Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Lets see if I did this right........

"o"alt"="you are samantha"

SHIT, PISS, FUCK AND DAMN!
Spaz's son had another seizure today, this one at school. It lasted 2-3 minutes, tomorrow he goes in for his MRI. Oh yeah, did I mension that he is having shooting pains on the left side of his head? Fuck. It's a good thing we kept the phone conversation short, I was starting to cry. I could feel Spaz's fear for her son. I know the feeling all too well. So tonight we will chat on line and get drunk together.
I saw lots of my crows this morning. Where ever I went I would get one single crow calling out to me. Mocking me.........Making me wonder what message of magic he was trying to tell me.
well have to finish this later. I have to take the magic bus in for repairs..

I AM A SEXY BITCH!!!
Just got back from the hair salon. I had Slappy's wife cut my hair this time. I actually left LIKING what I saw! Now I just need a little mascara & red lipstick and I'm set. Really I need a nap, but that is not happening today. Too many errands. I need to wear my orthodics, but then that means I have to wear shoes. If I wear shoes, then no one can see my cute red toe nails! Oh yeah, I got "Samantha" on Quizilla. Go figure!
I got a "jinx uncrossing" candle yesterday. Between my computer & the nail in my tire, I was afraid of what the "third" one would be! The flame is pretty high and jumping about. I'm feeling like I'm coming down with a head cold. Ugh! Just in time for my 10 year anniversary tomorrow. I guess I should go finish putting Pudd'ns train tracks together. I need my nephew or brother to do this. I played with barbies & horses.
Not trains! Oh well.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Had a great day. Got lots of soaps made, got an awesome pedicure. My toes are a lovely bright red with flowers on them. Pudd'ns Dr. Appointment went well, he was such a good boy. Went to the pumpkin patch and enjoyed watching him spend an hour on the slide.
Today I got lots of messages about what my thoughts create and how I want to live my life. I was thinking about how our thoughts create our reality, what you think about the most, you bring about. As I was pondering this, a small spider came down on it's web. This was a confirmation to my thoughts. Are you living the life you want?
Spider totem is about writing and weaving the life you want to create & live. So I will make an effort to write more, to bring out the creativity that needs to get out. I will focus more on the positive. I will love myself more and be kinder in my thoughts. I do not need to be a size 4 to be a beautiful woman. I am gorgeous no matter what size I am. I will make every effort to be some what "pulled together" when I leave the house. I'm not talking full on make up, but at least I'll brush my hair and not wear leopard slippers when I drop my kid off to school. I have been doing my best to live the life of a woman of magick. I have noticed my totems, I have given thanks for them and the messages I receive from the Goddess when my spells work. I make an effort to celebrate the Sabbats. Now I need to focus on taking care of me, so I can be at my best mentally & physcially. There is only one "me" and I need to be around for a long time to take care of my son. But I also have to remember to take the time to take care of me.

Monday, October 13, 2003

Tonight I broke into Maeve's blog and added a picture....... muhahahahaahahahahahah
Love,
Lili

TAROT CARD OF THE DAY:

EMPRESS
The Empress represents the future fullness of possibilities. Fertile, lush, and delightful, your future will be closer to nature. Despite this begining such an enjoyable time, you will find that you may need to seek solitude from time to time. Selfulfillment is fast approaching.

As taken from the Oracle Tarot.

BLUK!
It's Monday morning! At least Pudd'n slept through the night, except he is REALLY bad bed hog! Can't wait to go to the chiropractor today, man do I need it! I should fertilize the lawn too. But some how taking a nap sounds better.
This week Mr.S and I will celebrate 10 years of married BLISS. Yeah, I'm gagging on that one too! With any luck, I can clear the cob webs out of my coochie and get me some. Pudd'n will be at Grandma land for the day after his morning dentist appointment at the hospital. The hospital you ask? Since Pudd'n won't sit in a regular chair to get a full exam, we have to put him out and then do the exam. I can tell his teeth are crowding already and the dentist cannot get a good look at the teeth for cavities. On the same day my beloved Spaz has to take her son in for an MRI. He had a seizure while
brushing his teeth of all things. So as usual, Spaz and I are living parallel lives. We finish each other's sentences and have always said "If I switch sides, you are going to be my bitch". Well looking at the time I realize I need to get Pudd'n out the door to school. Still have to stop by Carl's Jr. to get him his delicious nutricious breakfast of french fries & root beer.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

WhooooooooooHooooooooooo Look at me! I'm SO cool with my "comments" by my posts now! Thanks to the lovely Ms. Lise! Work was good, would of made more money had slappy not called in some back up. Damn! Could of made over $200 tonight if slappy would of gotten off of his ass and just helped out a little. Now I'm getting kind of nervous, he's saying he might not be able to give me Sahaim off. Fucker better if he knows what is good for him! Tomorrow I get my nails done, can't wait. They need to be trimmed down. Nordstrom also has a great "gift w/purchase" at Estee lauder. Hopefully they have the new foundation in. Looking forward to hanging with the witches...........hmmmmmmm........."Hanging witches"...........Doesn't sound too good! Alrighty then, I'm looking forward to visiting with the witches. Mr. S wants to be a "puritan" for Sahaim. Yes, he does have a twisted sense of humor.

What a lovely day we had. Pudd'n was not cranky at all considering the early time he got up. We pet the bat rays & the dolphins. One dolphin got pissy with me. I just got done feeding fish to the bat ray when we went to the dolphin tank.
The food shack for the dolphins was closed, so I could not buy any. Any way, there was a dolphin at the side of the pool, he came up and I began to pet him. He kept clicking and chirping at me for food and nudging me with his nose. I told him "sorry I'm out". The little bugger then turned around to swim off, as he did that he flipped his tail splashing water over my poor nephew! We got some free starfish beanie babies, Mr. S was more excited about those!
I'm looking forward to hanging out with the "HOmies" tomorrow. It will be fun! Maybe we should try some pyscometry (sp?). Well I need to lay down for a little before I have to go to work.

WTF??
Pudd'n got up at 3 or 4 am. Not sure except for the fact it was too damn early! Ugh. Sea World here we come.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Well tonight was a total waste of make up. Not that I put much effort into it any way. Too busy watching my boys spank the senators. I was at work for 1 1/2 hours and got to go home. Saturdays are really beginning to suck.
Had a good afternoon. Pudd'n had a great healing session. We also went to the pumpkin patch. The gentleman working the slide remembers us from last year. He can speak sign language and tries to talk with pudd'n. But pudd'ns having too much fun to talk. After a while Ray no longer asks for our tickets for the ride. We present them, but he says to keep them for next time. He knows we will be there all month. Plus they have some GREAT pumpkins at awesome prices. I have my eye on a nice big one. Tomorrow is SeaWorld, going to go pet some Bat Rays.

FUCK!
There is a "bounce house" on my street (one of those inflatable jumping houses for kids). Why am I pissed that there is one of these things in my neighborhood? It is a reminder to me that my son was not invited to yet another birthday party.
He LOVES bounce houses, he is going to be sad when he can't go over and play in it. Ask if he can go? Sure, if I spoke Spanish. I have tried to help him make friends here. It is not easy, even when they do speak English........They treat him like he is some sort of poisonous bug. The little brats next door still don't acknowledge him when we say "hi". I've invited them over for parties and they ignore my son. I want to cry. My son knows he is different, he does try. Even his own cousins barely play with him or put the effort into it. Mr. S pointed out that we will be going to the pumpkin patch and they have the bounce houses there. That's not the point, the point is my son is left out again.

Friday, October 10, 2003

A magical journal chronicles a spiritual process. Folks tend to see spirituality as joy, revelation, love, healing, and personal achievement. But a legitimate spiritual journey is equally about setback, disillusionment, fear, personal short comings that are ruining your life yet seem eradicable and sometimes not see that you have made a lot of headway. Anyone whose so called spiritual journey is all joy and freedom is either a far better person than I or a liar to themselves
and others. Most of the time it will be the latter. Ok, maybe liar is too harsh. How about delusionally psychotic?
Francesca De Grandis
Be a Goddess

Your life story defines you and make you truly unique. Therein lies the strength of your personal power. Have you ever stood back, way back and looked at your very own life? Woven from the riches of your heart felt joys and numbing heartaches, sprinkled liberally with your victories and your crushing failures, molded by the love you were privilege to know and the losses you painfully suffered-your story is the very essence of who you are. That journey defines your personal power. It is your unique, one -of-a - kind woman's magick.
C.C. Brondwin
Clan of the Goddess

I am the domestic Goddess..........Yes I am. I've got the killer back ache to prove it right now. My hip is ok, but my back!
Wanted to get the house picked up, poor Mr. S has been doing most of the house work since my accident. Oh well, my bathroom is clean (until pudd'n gets home!) and the first layer of dog hair is off of the floor. Ah yes and the first load of laundry is going, only 19 more loads to do.............
Damn.......I lead a boring life! But you know what.......Boring is good. It is safe and predictable. I'll just live vicariously through Lili & Lise and pretend I'm good at writing poetry like Athena & Alice. What am I good at dear reader you ask?
(yeah right!). Well I am a good cook. I think I'll go meditate. Or at least take a nap. Yes, that is what I'll do..........Hell I'm boring myself to sleep!

You go Athena! You go you Sassy girl you!

Thursday, October 09, 2003

WHO'S YOUR DADDY? SAY MY NAME BITCH!!!!!
Detroit SPANKS the Kings tonight!! 1.7 seconds left in the game (insert hand slapping on bare ass sound) and they win 3-2. Yeah baby! Almost puked this afternoon. Got a "reply to all" email on Lili's original email from Gerldine. What gets me is some of the people in the group believe the shit she is spewing. That is their choice, if we all thought the same way, we would be the "stepford wives". Well my eyes are open and I am on my merry way. Have a nice life to all.

What a disappointment Je was for poor Lili. Her super pussy was only fed a happy meal when she was really hungary for a big mac. Bummer.
Spaz is home from the hospital. Gil is not. They have to shrink tumor and then go back in and take it out. I'm lighting another candle. On a happy note, the dumb broad radio news caster was wrong yesterday. Detroit plays against the kings today. So 4:30 today I'm planting my ass in front of the TV. My plumerias are all replanted, they look much happier.
Doing all that physcial work last night actually put Mr. S in a good mood which was nice for a change. Ugh, I still have to make lunches and eat some breakfast. Get to be room mom today, yeah!

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

It's 9:15 pm and I'm waiting with baited breath to find out how Je turned out in round 2.

Is it something in the water? I get a phone call at 7:10 am. I notice the area code is from back east..........This is not good. Nothing ever is when they call this early. My best friend and soul mate is calling from the hospital. Apparently her newly installed I.U.D. just went through her uterus!!!! Just what she needs. Her kid is having seizures and now this. So my alter is really alight with white candles today. Made some soaps & candles. My kitchen is a mess and I'm avoiding having to clean it. Ugh.

Ok, some one has to come over here and help me out of the dark ages with this computer. I got "Kyan" from the queer eye quiz. He IS a hottie. On the care bear, I first got "queer bear", I didn't like that answer so I went back and got "stoner bear". Not much better, but still funny.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Well boys & girls...........Work was slow. But hey, I get wine at a real good price! Wish I could of made a little bit more, get me through the next few days. Won't be able to make the pumpkin patch tomorrow. Very bummed, but not enough $$$. I am also sadden from learnig about a dear friend who has pancreatic cancer (sp?). My ho's are lighting some candles for him. Gil is a wonderful generous man, married to a vivacious equally generous woman named Gail. It was their rotten nag that threw my sorry ass, but hey. I've been riding horses since I was 7 years old. I know the dangers. Any way, when my beloved Hank died ( a horse) they stepped up to the plate and offered one of their older horses for my son to ride. Red was wonderful, very gentle and calm. Soon after they offered me their other two horses to ride.
They could of charged me for a "lease", but did not. They are generous to the community and to homeless animals. I pray that Gil makes it through this. He is a gentle and kind man. I adore them both. My life has been definitely better in knowing these two.
People come into your life to teach you lessons. I have learned some very valuable ones as of late. I have learned that I need to go with my first impression of people. That I need to listen to my higher self (intuition) when it speaks up. My life is also better in knowing Lili & lise. When I first met them, I felt that I've known them forever. I felt a vibration through out my body. It was like "coming home". Or maybe it was that dolphin vibrator I was wearing in my panties at the time.........hmmmmmmm.
I have to say the best teacher I have had so far is my son. I have learned more in the 7 years that he has been alive than the 30 years I had before him. My life began on the day he was born.

Unlike Lili, I don't think I'll ever make it in the column of "best to read" on this web site. Oh well.........The life of a mom I guess. My little prince is sleeping the best ever. It is a rare occasion that he pulls a "wake up call". Mr. S and I don't know what to do with a full night's sleep. It is very strange. 7 years of never sleeping through the night and now we can. I'm not complaining! It's just twilight zone for us that is all. I couldn't sleep myself last night. I could tell Mr. S has a lot on his mind as usual. I should of had the "tension tamer" tea instead of the "detox" one. Well time to get pudd'n dressed for school. He's finally adjusted and likes it there. On Thursdays I'm room mom for the day. It is so cool! I have to refrain myself from grabbing him and kissing him every time. I do need to find a job out that way to save on gas. Traffic is not a problem amazingly so. Only because I have the car pool lane! The ride back isn't so bad either, traffic is all north bound. Hell I'd be having a great time riding all day if I didn't hurt my hip! Well hopefully tomorrow I'll go riding. I need to nap today. *Heavy sigh* Like I said......If you are ever tired, read my bloggs!

Monday, October 06, 2003

Life is good. I go to work, make good money. Leave early and get to put pudd'n to bed. I love to curl around him and smell his sweet clean hair ( I use lavender shampoo). Now I have extra money for him & daddy to go have fun tomorrow night at pumpking patch. Yes, life is good. I have a wonderful husband that puts up with me & my cronies and my son is emerging from his Autism.

Too cool.
I usually try to pick a card from the tarot deck and learn about my day and that card. I spread the cards before me and asked "what will my night be like at work tonight?". I pulled the High Priestess. In the book that comes with the Oracle Tarot the High Priestess means:
You are entering a time when your intuition will be extremely accurate and sensitive. You will also be able to exercise discipline, restraint and spiritual dignity. You may seem to be a little distant and aloof during this time; however, a more accurate interpretation is that you are listening to you higher self so intently that earthly practialities are going unheeded at this time. You will do the right thing for all concerned- even if this is indeed the hardes choice to make. Also a tall dark Scotsman will enter your restaurant tonight and leave you a huge tip............Oh wait.........Sorry. That last line was a fantasy.
Also when I sent out my last email responding to Terri, the crows were in my yard. So I know I am making the right choice right now.
Ok, no more farting around. I HAVE to get ready for work!!

A glass of wine, a vicodin. Is there any other way to get ready for work? hmmmmm.......... I really don't feel like going in, but the look of joy on puddn's face as he had fun at the pumpkin patch will make it worth while. Anything to make him happy. He does not ask for much, his pleasures are simple. Thank Goddess he likes to be hugged & snuggled. I don't know what I would do if he had the type of Autism that did not like touch. Wish I was hanging out with my "homies" tonight, but that won't be happening any more. I can't just pretend nothing happened. How long will it be before the next big issue? I feel I can learn on my own. I'm going to have to. I have all the basics, now I have to put them to use. Now my next big question. When do I go riding again? I'm starting to feel better, I'm dyeing to go riding. Maybe tomorrow. Mr. S is not happy that I will continue to ride horses. Too bad. I'm not EVER giving up myself for him ever again. It just sucks it took this long to heal. Well when you fall off (or been bucked off in my case) you have to get back on. Face the fear. Am I afraid? A bit. I will never run and hide from anything again. I've come too far and grown as a person. I've learned my lessons (like don't ride bareback any more you old fart!). Well I guess I should finish folding my 2 weeks worth of clean clothes. I have no fucking clue as to where to put them. Lili has given me so much, I've taken over Mr. S's side of the closet and now I'm in puddn's!

ahhhhhhh back on line again. Cable was out for some strange reason all day yesterday. HMmmmmmmmmmm Lili had ANOTHER wild night. I bet you she put a spell out so she would not have to drag her cute hung over butt to my house to help me with my web page! Yep, I'm pretty sure that is what happened. I can just picture her barely lifting her head and cracking an eye when her answering machine goes off.....then the smile of satisfaction that the spell worked. She could sleep in until 3 pm again.

Saturday, October 04, 2003

Well tonight wasn't a total waste of makeup. At least Pudd'n will have money to go to the pumpkin patch again tomorrow.
I wonder what kind of fun my sluts are up to? Got my Sahaim decorations all up. Yeah me. OOOOOOOo Vicodin is kicking in. Life is good.

Glad SOMEBODY got fucked to tears............haven't had that in a few years..........
heh heh heh heh

No wonder it was so cold this morning. Hell was about to freeze over. Lise was up before noon! Welcome to my world!
Called Lili at 11:30..........talk about raising the dead! Some one is a bit hung over! I so don't want to go to work tonight. I'd rather be going to the pumpkin patch with my prince. Go pet the goats in the petting zoo, keep him from terrorizing chickens. Well it's time to do some spell work. Need to bring in that great paying day job so I can be home at nights for my prince. Sounds like Alice had a good time at a concert. I have thier "Vault" cd. Brings back a lot
of great memories! (wink wink). Well I guess I should go do something constructive. What I don't know........maybe I'll go back to sleep. Maybe I'll have a great web page tomorrow!

Friday, October 03, 2003

ahhhhhhhhh all is right in my world. I've gotten my daily fix of Lise's blogg. She is so funny & witty. She's also a ssllllllut, but that is why I love her! Work was fine until the damn phone lines went down...........That means NO credit cards can be ran and when the phone lines do come back up, you have to input everything by hand. Luckily Slappy was in a good mood, so it wasn't so bad. I picked up two extra shifts this week, the pumpkin patch is in town, HAVE to take my little prince to it. ahhhhhhh the vicodin is kicking in, the 2nd glass of 2 buck chuck is helping it a long. Got some great photos from my friend in TEXAS. Her daughter is so cute, it was great to see them. OMG! I almost forgot! (drugs & booze you know). A customer SLAPPED MY ASS as I left tonight! LMAO! Yes, I let him keep his hand. He likes the way I mix drinks and was pretty drunk when I left. He's also a big tipper. Whoooooooo hooooooooo! Yeah, I'm a slut too! His wife & cronies were there, so I knew that is as far as it would have gone. I'd have to kill him if he tried anything else, big tip or not.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Should we? Or should we not? That seems to be the burning question (beats that burning feeling while peeing). Do we continue to go to study group and pretend all this little nastiness didn't happen? Well my friends, only you can answer that. Are you getting your money's worth every month? How much longer until the next little unpleasantness? All I know is that I apologized for hurting Geraldine feelings and explained everything. That was not good enough for her. Now I find she's flapping her gums about this to people OUTSIDE of the study group. If you guys want to keep going, that is fine by me. Please do not let what happened to me stop your desire for learning. I am a big girl......Ok, well we all know that........Ok I'm a MATURE adult! I won't stop being your friend if you choose to continue with the study group. I love you guys and your support has meant so much to me. What also gets me is the emails today. "what's going on? Why is it is so quiet? DUH!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I don't think we are that dumb. You KNOW what is going on. Then Geraldine email acting "normal". Wanda was part of group, Alice thanks for your support. What Gerald failed to fully say was "thanks for your back support while we were in meditation". She made it seem Alice was giving her some moral support or something like that. Maybe I'm just paranoid.................
Any way my lovlies........I'll see you later, I'm tired of ranting about this shit.

Stick a fork in me..........Iam DONE. I've had enough. Iam no longer going to be a part of the study group. I do not want to be a part of anything where the teacher can act like a 2 year old and think that is ok. If you have a problem with ME, you come to ME. You don't broadcast to the whole fuking group. You don't twist facts around so others of the group are cold to me. While chatting with some others while waiting for ritual to begin, Gerldine & Janet make a point to huge Alice and chit chat with her. I continue to talk to terry, apparently we buy our clothes from the same shop.......we had the same dress on! lol. Later while standing in line, Janet does make some small talk with me & alice. There is no warmth in her behavior, no hugs, no "good to see you, how was your party". Nothing that would indicate that I've just spent the past year & a half sharing my life with this person. Am I making a big deal of this? I don't know. All I do know is that my email address book is now a lot smaller and my monday nights are now free to pursue other intrests. Change is good, this I know. I cannot focus on the door to the chapter in this part of my life closing. I need to look ahead to the ones that will be opening. It still does not make it any less painful. I THOUGHT I had some good friends. I guess I was wrong. Gerldine was cordial through out the evening. Even got stuck sitting next to her THANKS to Alice. Speaking of Alice, hey bitch! did I give you permission to cut your hair? lol! It does look pretty. Well time to get the prince up, I will be room mom today. I'll have to fill you in on the details of the raccoons later............they were so cute!

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

ugh, is it really this early? It sucks having to literally get up and run out the door to take my prince to school. I'm letting this "Gerldine" thing really get to me. She was such a wonderful friend and then she "Cybiled" out. I'm looking forward to my monthly wiccan group. I think I'll make some p.b. cookies with that darling pentagram stamp. I made the mistake of wearing some darling shoes that Lili gave me yesterday. It's a very low heel, but with my hip out of whack, you think I was wearing 4 inch spikes. More drugs please! I'm wearing my new dress tonight, which calls for my boots. So I think I'll be in pain for a bit longer. hmmmmm pleasure & pain. yep, about sums up my life!