Trying to get my blood pressure to come down............
I've got the soothing music going and some incense burning. On my way home my phone rings and it's slappy. Could I come in tonight at 6pm instead of 4:30? No problem I say, luckily for me & him, he did not start in on next weekend. I am making a candle for a gift basket and Iam trying my hardest to calm down. Just looking at the name on the caller I.D. elevated my blood pressure to new heights. I don't want this anxiety & stress and the feeling of wanting to choke the shit out of some one who needs it desperately to go into this candle! So here I blogg.......I cannot do poems like Athena or Alice. I don't want to start screaming or hitting pillows, don't need to freak out pudd'n.
On the room mom thing, I chatted with the teacher more on that. I can stay for 1-2 hours, not the whole day. The principal is worried that other parents that are not as qualified (or as "cool" as Colette said)as I am wanting to stay and do more harm than good in a class room. So Ms. Perky O/T is off the hook of my wrath. Althought I do have a feeling she piped up about something.
When I was pregnant, I had this wonderful dream of being the house on the block where all the kids would hang out to play. My children would have lots of friends, we'd do the arts & crafts, would have the swing set, be on the team sport that my kids had liked..........The whole nine yards. That dream came crashing down on the day at the neurologist office as he told us that "yes, he is autistic". I may have the swing set in the yard, but it is missing friends to play on it. Yes, I may do the arts & crafts, but it is pretty much "forced", he has no interest in them as the same with sports. What is my point in all this? I had a lot of fun yesterday in pudd'ns class room. I got to play with a lot of kids and do crafts.......It was kind of like living that dream. I could pretend that it was my house and these were Pudd'ns friends and life was "normal". Now, like everything else in my life, I am going to have to "settle" for what I can get.