---My Yahoo profile
Happy Hour Specials....
In the wine cellar
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Sunday, July 31, 2005
JUST FOR BLONDAGE........
1 piece (4 lbs) seedless watermelon
1/3 cup superfine sugar (can be found in baking isle of grocery store)
2 tablespoons of bottled sweetened lime juice
1 1/4 cup vodka or to taste, which means in my world almost 2 cups.
remove rind and white part from watermelonand dsicard. cut pulp inot chuncks (about 4 1/2 cups total) add sugar and sweet lime juice. toss to combine and refridgerate 30 min to 1 hour.
transfer mixutre to blender along with vodka. blend until puree. serve immideatly and chill the rest.
OOOO I'm so proud of myself for typing this with slurrrrring fingers!
posted by Maeve at 4:08 PM
We made a treck up to L.B. to go to the aquarium. It was the first time for me & Pudd'n. Steve hasn't been there in some time himself. It was really nice, we signed up for the yearly membership. Pudd'n tolerated it,it was something new and in the autistic world...any thing that is new must be met with copious amounts of whineing. I was a total geek while petting the sharks and sting rays. The colorful fish of the south pacific inthralled me, so many pretty colors! The dragon fish were amazing! They had divers cleaning some of the tanks and when it dawned on Pudd'n that it was a PERSON in the tank, well it was cool.
Next door to the aquarium, is my new mecca. Bubba G*mp Shirmp. I achieved several orgasims while reading the to go menu on the way home. I informed Steve I want to go there for a nice birthday dinner next month. Drop Pudd'n off at grandma land and go get me some shrimp!
OOOOO there goes the timer! The watermelon martinis are ready for comsumption!
posted by Maeve at 2:22 PM
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Well I'm over it. The bitterness of not being in Mexico. Cest la vie, right?
Spent the morning in the pool with Pudd'n. He's so damn cute! And that's about the extent of my excitement for the day. We rented some movies and tried to stay cool. Went to K*hls and I got a skirt & top for a grand total of $12.00. Man do I LOVE the clearance rack! I also got some nice smelling candles for a buck each. Still no good word on Hunter. I feel so bad, he was so talented and funny.
posted by Maeve at 8:37 PM
Ok, now I'm REALLY depressed.
My favorite drag queen Hunter fell off the stage last week and landed on his head. They don't think he's going to make it, and if by some miricle he does, he will never preform again......
posted by Maeve at 12:16 PM
Friday, July 29, 2005
Bitter.....party of one........
I'm trying REAL hard not to be pissed that I'm not on a romantic trip to Mexico this weekend. Trying really hard and failing.
posted by Maeve at 10:12 PM
I now have speakers for my computer!!! HOT DAMN!
I can now listen to all those great video clips that Cat sends.
We are on our way to the store right now. I'm getting all the fix'ns to make watermelon martinis.
posted by Maeve at 1:46 PM
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Well the funeral went well. Pudd'ns limit was met of course when the service was suppose to start. So I took him out to the lobby to try and entertain him. We could still hear the euology, they piped it in to the lobby area. Pudd'n starts to get REALLY whiney now and I figure I'll take him out to the van and let him sit in the a/c while I play his favorite cds. The problem? I didn't have the keys on me, Steve did and if I tried to get them, Pudd'n would create a scene. So I'll get the undertakers help......right?
Me:Hi, can you help me, I need my keys. But my husband haves them and I don't want to interupt the service.
We walk over to the chapel, there is a window with a curtain over it. I raise the curtain so I can point Steve out.
Undertaker: Um, isn't that your husband walking up to speak at the podium?
Me: FUCK! yes it is.............
At this point I realized that I didn't use my "indoor voice" and the undertaker is looking at me with a shocked expression on his face.
The party at Sarah's afterwards was great. She has an above ground pool and large yard. The kids were in heaven. It was pot luck, so we had a lot of good food to eat. Pudd'n had a blast in the pool with his cousins.
posted by Maeve at 10:04 PM
Well it looks like Mexico is canceled. Steve does not feel comfortable driving down there. Yeah, we did it last year, but we HAD to. I was in the wedding party. Yes, I am dissapointed, I was really looking forward to some good food and hanging out with friends and exploring cute shops with Steve. But if we had gone this year, I know he would of made the trip a living hell. Well, at least the drive up there, his anxiety level would of seriously driven me to give him a dirt nap. I'm anxious enough of leaving my son. I didn't need the extra stress. So here we are. Home.
posted by Maeve at 5:20 PM
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Ok, so far I've already:
Made spaghetti sauce
cleaned bird cage
fed hummers and other assorted wild birds
semi cleaned short bus to make it some what presentable for the
extra bodies that will be in it today.
Now I just have to feed Pudd'n and get shit together for our little trip "inland". Today is grandma's funeral, we'll go for a short service and then over to Sarah's for some food and booze. She's got a pool now, so at least we can escape the heat. Tomorrow we start packing our stuff for Mexcio. I've toyed with the thought of a "guest blogger" while I'm gone. But it's just the weekend, not like any of you will miss me and my
I guess I'll go finish that bottle of whiskey Athena gave me. That way the empty bottle will go out in today's trash pick up. Yeah, that's it. So it can go out in today's trash. That's a good excuse right?
posted by Maeve at 10:04 AM
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
posted by Maeve at 10:06 PM
My poor pudd'n. I think a flea came in on one of the dogs from our walk and bit the shit out of my son.
He's got almost a dozen red, slightly swollen bite marks on his legs, arm and one on his little belly. They itch too, he might be allergic to the little fuckers. It's that or a damn spider.
posted by Maeve at 7:08 AM
Monday, July 25, 2005
I should of named my turtle "Houdini".
As I'm cleaning out my fish tank, I hear a strange noise behind me. There is Speedy. He just came in through my propted open front door. He's found that he can get out of his pool and can cruze the yard. I don't mind really, he's cute. Just don't want him pissing or shitting in the house. He's an AQUATIC turtle, I've tried to explain that to him on numerous occations. *heavy sigh*
posted by Maeve at 10:25 AM
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Yours truly was tagged by Bent. This means I have to do a top 10 list of turn-ons and turn-offs. Each list is in random order.
Top 10 turn ons:
Tall dark haired men in kilts
Men that wear colone
Good bottle of whiskey
Michigan in the fall
A wicked sense of humor
Top 10 turn offs:
narrow minded people
guys who think they are hot shit on a silver platter when they are really cold diareah on a paper plate.
people who make promises they don't intend to keep.
I think I'll go tag Samantha, Livey , Mom is Nutz and Sandy with this.
posted by Maeve at 10:19 PM
In a few days I will be in Mexico.........
I cannot wait. But then I can...I will have to drink copious amounts of booze to relax my hyper ass. *heavy sigh* It's a dirty job, but some one has to drink that much!
I took my birds in to have wings/nails clipped and the bird lady said to me:
Your birds are a little "chubby".
I looked at her and said:
"Honey, were ALL a little chubby in my house!"
This morning during the "witching hour" (3-4 am) I was woken up by Jack barking in my face. I let out a gasp and bolted up right in bed. I checked the side of the bed for the other two dogs and they were snoring. So yes, it was my Jack.
Had a great time yesterday with the girls over. Athena was kind enough to bring me a fith of whiskey. I'm going to do my best to save it for the car ride to Mexico this friday. 11 of us will be decending upon a sleepy little town called La Fonda. I'm packing some porn and planning on some spooning.
Had a great time with Pudd'n in the pool today. He can now dive to the bottom of the 6ft end of the pool. He likes to grab the leaves that fall down there and throw them out of the pool.
Speaking of leaves, I can smell "fall" coming. I've been detecting it's scent for 2 weeks now. Yes, I know it's the "hight" of summer, but I can feel it, smell it, everything changing already. Fall is my FAVORITE time of year.
Aussie will be here this fall and this fall will mark mine & Athena's 29th birthday (again).
posted by Maeve at 10:08 PM
Saturday, July 23, 2005
THIS TASTES LIKE SNOZZEBERRIES...........
Where the fuck do I begin? What a weekend and it's only Sat night. Last night at work it sucked hot sweaty balls as usual. 5 whole fucking tables. The best tip I got? Flash back 8 years ago. I'm at this swanky auto musium for my hub's yule party. The owner of said musium turns out to be my regular customer at Marco's.
Well this wonderful cutsomer comes in friday and he sits on the patio because he brought his AUSTRALIAN shepard dogs with him. It's MY station, so I have to wait on him. I make it to the table, take one look at them and burst into tears. I quickly explain I had to give Jack a dirt nap last week and I'm still upset about it. We had talked about our dogs in the past, I had flashed the photos of my "gooby dog". So, during the course of the meal, Mr. Manacotti said to me "I'm going to breed my dog Spank and I'd like to give you a puppy". That sent me in to a a fresh round of tears.........
So, when Mr. Manacotti finds the perfect bitch for Spanky, I'll be getting a wonderful companion to share my life with.
Today Steve's grandma also passed. But her soul left a long time before her body gave out. It was a blessing she had passed. It was long over due.
Babs, Dru and Athena came over for bbq. Thanks be to Goddess that it was FINALLY fucking cooled off. It was great to hang out with them. It's always such a long time before we can see each other. That sucks!
posted by Maeve at 10:22 PM
Friday, July 22, 2005
GODDAMN! Is it fucking HOT enough or what??!!!
I had to hose off the goat puppy after I went horseback riding this morning. The goat stayed sitting the the shade while I rode and then I'd take him for just a quick 5 min trail ride. Poor thing! That coat is so damn thick.
Had a great ride on both boys. Val got there at 6:30 to start working the horses, smart girl because by the time I got there at 8:30 it was miserable!
It normally is not this hot this time of year. I wish it would rain, that would help with the muggyness. UGH!
posted by Maeve at 11:23 AM
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Well my resumes are printed up and my battle plan of where I'm going to hit is ready. Hopefully by the first of Aug, I will have a new night time job.
It's a full moon tonight and I plan to make use of it. Time to freak out the neighbors! (No, I will NOT be doing spell work sky clad).
Mexico is next weekend. I'm excited and worried at the same time. Why am I worried? What if Pudd'n needs his mommy? I doubt he will, he's got 2 grandmas and his grampy to spoil the hell out of him. More than likely, I'll miss him more than he will miss me.
posted by Maeve at 6:49 AM
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
I got a new bird............
My niece Lisa lost interest in caring for her cockatiel, so guess who has Nico now? She's had him for 3 years and claims she just does not have the time for him any more. I'm hoping she and her brother Bart will not turn out like their mom in the pet dept. That cunt saw pets as disposable, I shit you not, she had at least different dogs when the kids were growing up. Cats too, just bring them home, get tired of them and dump them off some where.
At least this bird is hand tame, where as Patches & Morgan are not. I just have to get his wings clipped.
Work was good last night, Slappy #2 is now walking on egg shells. He knows he's fucked up. Had a regular come in last night, hadn't seen her in a while. She was getting some to go food when she told the "why" of her abscense. Apparently they had the misfortune of Slappy #2 waiting on them. He did his usual ingoring and crappy service. I remember that night too, Mr. Big (the money man of Marco's) was in and Slappy #2 spent the entire time just hanging out and chatting with Mr.Big. I told my regular that'd I was seeking other employment, she gave me her email addy and asked that I tell her where I'd be going.
Today is field trip day with Pudd'ns class. So I guess I'll be going.
Hummmmmmmm, Nico came with this talking mirror. I think I'm going to have to shut that fucking thing up.
posted by Maeve at 6:30 AM
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
ONE MAN'S JUNK..............
Sandy, over at the Dirty Ashtray talks about "junk day" on her street in Germany. It's kind of like trash day, only no garbage. She scooped up some nice sounding furnature. It brought back a memory of when I did a wee bit of "dumpster diving" myself once.
When we lived in our condo, we were very good friends with the lady next door to us. She is a greeting card rep, she gets all these really cool samples to take to card shops to sell to the owners. Now what does she do with all these FREE samples when she's done with them? Now a days she has a garage sale, other times she just gives boxes of this stuff. This is GOOD stuff too! It's like having your own Hallm*rk store!
Well one day she gave me a box of goodies, her garage was getting full. That night everyone took their trash cans out for trash day the next morning. Steve noticed that Maggie had put a bunch more cards & stuff in her recycle bin. He came in and said "go through and get some more stuff, here's a flash light!". I was mortified! No way! I told HIM to go do it. Well, it ended up that he wheeled Maggie's recycle bin UP TO OUR FRONT DOOR! There I stood in my pajamas digging through that bin. When what do I hear? Maggie's lovley English lilt:
"Is that the neighbors going through the trash?"
She and her roommate just got back from a late night jog. I thought I was going to die on the spot! Even though we don't live next door to each other, we still keep in contact. And when she has her garage sale, she always makes sure she calls me. Sure beats digging through the trash with a flash light!
posted by Maeve at 6:57 AM
Monday, July 18, 2005
Wish I had something blog worthy to post, but it was a quiet weekend. Work sucked hot sweaty balls, at Marco's AND and my cousin Ken's place. I made decent enough money at Marco's on friday, but didn't make shit last night. It started to get busy and then like a fuck'n prick tease it just didn't happen. I had four tables and that was it. And one of those tables was a party of six old people with that fucking entertainment card. At Ken's place I only had four tables too, the tips were better, but after tipping out goddamn 35%, I went home with shit. The only bright spot was that Pudd'n & Steve came down with me and I got to watch Pudd'n play in the pool for 3 hours. I don't think it's going to work out at Ken's place. They have a hotel back ground and do things waaaaay different from what I'm used to. Shouldn't be a problem right? Well they expect me to KNOW how to do things their way. Communication suck too. *Heavy sigh*
I'm going to have to put out some applications today.
posted by Maeve at 6:40 AM
Friday, July 15, 2005
This is totally politically incorrect. It is wrong on so many levels. But when I got to the very end, I thought of you. Hope you get a laugh out of it.
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and
have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?
posted by Maeve at 12:16 PM
Thursday, July 14, 2005
GODDAMN DO I HAVE GOOD FRIENDS!
I come home today and what do I have waiting for me? TWO packages! One from my hottie friend Aussie and one from my slutty soul mate Spaz.
I had questioned Aussie about vegimite a few weeks ago. Today, I have a package filled with my favorite cookies from the land down under AND a small jar of vegimite. Now Rob at Gutrumbles loves the stuff, some one had sent him some. But hey, the guy's drinking home made shine.........
Any way, I'm told to eat this SPARINGLY with toast & butter. I've had enough whiskey to try some real soon.
The 2nd package from Spaz. It's a gorgeous glass moon to hang in my window. She's got the matching sun. Spaz is drawn to the sun, me to the moon. In cancun, she seeked out the sun, sat in it, bathed in it. Me, goddamn! Get me some shade damn it! I laughed when I realized the ironicness of it. We are polar opposites, but the same. The sun & moon balance each other out and that is what we do.
OOOOh I'm rambling......finishing that 5th of whiskey Babs gave me!
Steve and I went to the movies tonight. We saw the Fantastic 4 and LOVED it! Afterwards we went to the local pet store to get fish & turtle supplies. Mistake......
As we were walking in, a lady was walking out with an older Australian Shepard mix. I of course stopped to pet the dog, she said "he was an old man, 16 years". I managed to hold it together until we got to the fish dept. where I bawled my eyes out. I did my best to pull it together, Steve was at a loss as to what to do.
"oh honey, lets look at the cats for adoption"
Ok, cats should be safe right? I'm not looking for one, can't have one, I'll look at them.
BIG mistake. I start crying even harder, all those poor kitties wanting a home.
Some store clerk walks by........
oh honey, look! A cute baby snake!
I come out and sure enough, it is a darling hatchling snake.
The poor kid looks at me as I try to wipe the tears from my face, I'm failing miserably to look like nothing is wrong.
The snake got me calmed down enough to get me through check out.
posted by Maeve at 8:48 PM
Babs to the rescue............
Steve had to take Pudd'n to his weekly Reiki healing, I was not fit for the general public, so I stayed home. I had only bought a small bottle of whiskey and was out when I called Babs for back up. I needed just a little more, something to help my mind shut off so I could sleep. That girl came over with a 5th of whiskey! LOL! She also hit the local burger joint, no puking for me!
I had done some spell work out on the patio, so my cauldron was there on the table with a candle burning in it. Babs came in and said "Um, we are not doing something like they did in Pet Cemetary are we?" "You didn't make good on your threat of killing Steve and now we have to bring him back to life?".
We spent the evening sitting out on the patio waiting for my boys to come home. I kept expecting Jack to come out from the very back of the house where the rest of my yard is.
I was going to go riding today, but it will be too hard not seeing Jack race the arena as I ride. I will try tomorrow.
posted by Maeve at 6:58 AM
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Babs is on her way over with more booze and take out food.
Thank you to everyone that has called me. It means a lot to me. Jack was more than just a dog. He was my familiar, he was my friend. He was the best damn guard dog any one could ask for.
I am now going to go get sloppy drunk. Thank Goddess Babs is used to seeing me sloppy drunk!
posted by Maeve at 6:34 PM
My heart is just breaking in two right now.
I got Pudd'n some chinese food for lunch. He never eats the rice, so we always split it between the dogs. I automatically reached for Jack's dish and it hit me. I won't be filling his dish any more.
When we were at the vet's this morning, I was sitting on the floor with Jack. Pudd'n was sitting on the bench behind me. As I sat there, crying and cradleing my dog in my arms, Pudd'n patted and kissed my head. When Jack's soul left his poor old body, Pudd'n stood up and went to the door of the little room and said "done".
I want my hyper, spastic dog back. I want to go out on trail with him. I wanted him to live a long life and die at home in his sleep. Not having to take him to the vets. It's just not fair.
posted by Maeve at 1:51 PM
I had to put my dog Jack to sleep this morning. He became disorented and had a hard time standing up. His quality of life had started to go down hill and I was begining to worry that Pudd'n might step on him by accident late at night when he comes in to our room and get bit. It was the hardest choice I had to make. The house is so empty and quiet with out Jack, Goat puppy is pouting in the corner. He knows.........
Now Jack can run to his hearts content, no more pain, all the horse manure he wants and he's with my horses Whiskey & Hank.
I miss you already Jack, thanks for a wonderful 12 1/2 years......
posted by Maeve at 10:08 AM
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Spent a great day at the fair. Every year the local fair opens it's doors early to special needs people and their families. Select rides are free until 12pm. Every year it gets better, it used to be just the kiddy rides, now there are a few adult rides and more food vendors are open. Pudd'n had a great time and discovered new rides to go on. I got my annual wine glass with my wine tasting. This year there is a rooster on the glass, I showed it to Steve and said "Look, there's a cock on my glass".
Still haven not heard from C.C., Javier did say there just hired some people, but they are also opening up a new place next month. I told him I'd take either one. I'm boning up my resume and hitting up another place over by the mall. So far Ken's place is not turning out as I hoped, I need something NOW. I had two tables on Friday and two tables on Sunday. How many levels of wrong is that? I wonder how many I'll have tonight?
posted by Maeve at 3:41 PM
Monday, July 11, 2005
Shamelessly stolen from Witchey Wonderings.
(and I am SO gulity of #4 and #9)
You Finally Know You are a Witch When...
1. Your BOS has spots on the pages from spilled brews.
2. When cleaning house you have to specify. "Where is the broom? No, not the broom, where is the one to clean the floor with?"
3. Candle wax has dripped on your keyboard.
4. There are more jars of strange smelling plants in your cupboards than there are cereal boxes.
5. Friends know they can always give you candles and incense as a gift.
6. When watching old re-runs of Bewitched, you find you side with Samantha's mother Endora.
7. When travelling, stranger and stranger strangers tell you their problems.
8. You find yourself making corn dollies in the checkout line at the grocery store (well, I thought about it).
9. You ask for Halloween off, because it's a religious holiday.
10. You start answering the phone with "Merry Meet".
posted by Maeve at 4:44 PM
KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.............
My friend Spaz went to drop her kids off at camp. The camp administration had a little note for my friend. It seems that her oldest son(10 yrs) had an altercation with another kid while playing dodgeball.
John got pissed and told the other kid "suck my mother's DICK!!!".
Now Spaz is reading this little note in front of a half dozen teenage boys, she's trying not to crack up laughing.
"Do you think he found your strap on?"
Now John KNOWS the correct terms for body parts, he KNOWS the difference between men & women. WHY the hell he said that is beyond us. I'm going with my first thought, he found her strap on.
She's ready to lift her skirt to prove she don't have a real dick.
Hell, Spaz will use any exscuse to lift her skirt! LOL!
posted by Maeve at 2:21 PM
Pickpocket:: Identity theft
ResumÃ©:: No clue, never been there
Phenom:: *Bless you* (passes kleenex)
Love/Hate:: My curves
Unusual:: Ripley's Believe it or not
Intense:: Boarder collies
Not enough:: Sleep, time, sanity
posted by Maeve at 11:16 AM
My horoscope for today:
You are drawn to being with a group of like-minded people today and you'll feel as if it is a perfect day for you to play, but you may forget your limitations. Be careful not to overdo the food or alcohol, even if it is in the name of pleasure. And don't run out on your personal responsibilities by taking on the problems of a larger group.
Nooooooo, I NEVER over do it in the food or booze dept......
posted by Maeve at 3:02 AM
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Had a great time at the party last night. I was the only brunette in a sea of Calif. blondes. Got trashed on Vodka, the food was great and everyone loved my cakes. If there is an opening soon at C.C., I will go back to work for them. The back stabbing cunt no longer works there as a manager, so I won't have any problems.
It is so strangely quiet with out Pudd'n. I called to check up on him and my step dad told me of all the funs things they had done and it was only 12 noon! Steve and I got the garage finished and then off to H*me Depot for some fly catchers and more plants for me. I'm looking forward to our trip to Mexico in 2 weeks.
posted by Maeve at 2:59 PM
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Right now my husband is bucking for a trip to the north woods of Wis. (thanks Livey)
I will pay for everything in cash (thanks Bridget) as to not leave a paper trail when I KILL AND BURY HIS FUCKING ASS......
posted by Maeve at 2:50 PM
Friday, July 08, 2005
Had a great ride on Kip today. That horse is so awesome, too bad he's such a fruit cake.
I've baked a nice carrot cake for my friend's birthday party tomorrow. I'm also baking a nice banana cake with fresh whipped topping too. We couldn't decide which to make, so I'll suprize her with both. Pudd'n will be staying the night at grandma land. In fact, he'll be staying until Monday!!! He usually stays the nights on Sunday any way, so my mom said she'd just keep him. Hot damn! Sex, sex and MORE sex for me!!!
Ritual on Wed was absolutly FABULOS! L.D. & K. chose to use Hindu Gods & Goddess. The alter was gorgeous and instead of just calling in the elements at the four quarters, we also called in a Hindu God or Goddess. L.D. showed us some dance steps and the women danced for the men as they played musical interments. It was so sensual, I loved it. Hell, the men LOVED it. We have lots of young girls that really know how to shake what their mama gave them. Jake asked me later if I saw him shaking his seed stick at me. I laughed, he had one of those tube type things that has seed in it. You shake it and it makes noise, they are also called "rain makers". Jake is a lot of fun and we have a good time throwing in sexual innuendos. But alas, he's already spoken for, he and my high priest K have been in a committed relationship for 18 years now?
I cannot wait for next months ritual, it will be Llamas. The stuff that L.D. & K come up with are great. L.D. just got a new shipment of stuff in, I'm going to have to go check it out once it's all unpacked. Looks like I'll have to up date my "wish list" at her shop!
posted by Maeve at 2:39 PM
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Remind me again WHY I'm married???
Below is the ACTUAL email my rat bastard husband sent me after I called him. Oh yeah, I'll throw in the phone conversation too.........
Me: everything is fine
Steve: I knew it would be, you would need a silver bullet to take YOU down.
Steve:If that doesn't work, there is always the steak through the heart and we lop off your head.
Since the doctor said that you are fine, should I cancel my subscription to www.find-a-newer-younger-wife.com?
posted by Maeve at 10:07 PM
Everything is fine. They think it is just a cyst. I'm still going in for a mamogram though. Oh joy.
I went and got a pedicure to celebrate. Nice dark purple toes with white flowers..
posted by Maeve at 11:59 AM
As I opened my son's bedroom window this morning, what do I see? Crows & Ravens all over my neighbor's roof. Some were looking down at me. I go back in to our bedroom to snuggle up with Pudd'n and as I look out our back window, I see the birds have moved to the tree in our yard. All of them, cawing and hopping about the branches. Now mind you, I KNOW these birds are common to be around and what not. But I've only had the sheer number of these birds appear during times in my life that I need a sign.
I'm finding them comforting. I found a lump in my left breast last week. I'm going in this morning to have it checked out.
posted by Maeve at 6:38 AM
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Ok, my computer is a piece of fucking crap. I'm suppose to get some directions from Bent's site and I can't. So I'm going to wing it. She's suppose to ask me 5 questions and I'm suppose to answer them. I you want me to ask YOU 5 totally different questions, let me know in my comment box. (heh heh heh, I said "box"). I'll squeeze my booze soaked brain cells and try to come up with some good ones, you must post the questions AND your answers on your blog. Got that Barflys?
1. What was your most embarrasing moment? Expound.
That would have to be the time I got a brazilian wax. There is nothing like stripping down to a stupid little piece of paper panties and having some one smear hot wax on your nether regions and rip the hair off. The worse part was having to be on all fours so she can get the hair around your ass. I only resulted to this because of a horrific and painful expierence with a do it yourself home waxing kit. Not that this was any less painful, but at least it did not look like some one beat the shit out of me.
2. Describe your most erotic experience.
That would have to be the power I had over an old boyfriend. I'd just grin at this guy and he'd pop a boner. Stolen kisses, sex in the park........he'll never look at a jar of honey the same again.
3. Growing up, who inspired you the most?
My grandmother. She loved to read, she was always a lady, she put up with my grandpa, she had kind eyes and soft hands. She always made me feel loved.
4. If you had three wishes what would you wish for?
a)My son would emerge from his autism
b)To be financially well off so I won't have to worry about my son's future.
c)That child abuse would end.
5. Do you spit or swallow?
posted by Maeve at 11:01 PM
THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY...............
I just found out this morning that it is Pudd'ns teachers birthday. I think I will go buy her a pretty plant. And in that plant, on little sticks there will be condoms, lube and I think I'll throw in a little bottle of vodka too......
Just for Bent:
Because you and Athena think my husband is SO fucking funny.......
A few weeks ago when Athena stayed the night, we were sitting out on the patio chatting with Steve. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Pudd'n lost a tooth, the new one is kind of coming in crooked. I hope he does not end up with teeth like Steve.
Steve: yeah, you are right
Me: I mean, it's bad enough he got your autism honey.
Athena: (laughing) boy you ARE evil
Steve: Maeve is just bitter because she can't see her reflection in the mirror.
posted by Maeve at 9:16 AM
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Phone at work rings. I pick it up.
Me: Good evening, Marco's.
Caller: *heavy breathing*
Ok, great, I'm going to have fun fucking with a crank caller
caller: Do you give head?
caller: do you swallow?
Heyyyyyyyy, wait a minute! I recognize this voice!
It's the hub., he wants to pick up a pizza for Pudd'n.
The 4th was really nice with the exception of the red tide. It turned the water a funky rusty brown color and smelled a wee bit. But hey, nothing a copious amount of alcohol won't cure right? Bart brought his fishing poles and caught 3 sand sharks and one lepord. Gee, THANKS! Just what I need, a visual reminder of why I'm scared shitless of the ocean. They were all small sharks and he had to let them go. I did get photos though. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Goat puppy was ran ragged from playing with all the kids.
If you get a chance, rent the UNCUT version of "Team America". I only have two words to say about the movie......."puppet sex".
posted by Maeve at 9:24 PM
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Ok girls, I found a nice place to hang pool side that does not cost us $50 to get in.
Remember I told you about my cousin Ken's new joint? I'm working there part time until they get off the ground. Well, the bar over looks an olympic sized pool. Ken just started opening for lunch. We can go there, be WAITED on pool side and just hang. They have locker rooms, showers, sauna and plenty of patio covers up if you don't want to sit in the sun. Best of all, it's QUIET! Not too many people go there. Today my boys and I went down. Pudd'n tried some new chicken fingers, gobbled up the fries and I had two nice tall glasses of whiskey as I sat pool side. The water is nice & clean, you don't feel all slimy when you get out and did I mention that we were WAITED on?! Hell, if you don't want to wait for that cute young man, you can go in yourself. NO line waiting! So, next time we want some girlie time, we can do facials at my place and then drive on over to Coto. Food is fabulous and it is much more relaxing!
posted by Maeve at 2:34 PM
Because I have nothing blog worthy, I'll post my usual strange shit that brings people to this place.
dixie longate and tupperware (Google) 1 : That was the most fun I've ever had at one of those parties.
free pictures of hot lantino boys (Yahoo) 1: How about some nice hot Scottman in kilts?
ToeJam sprite sheets (AltaVista) 1: Sandy, did you make these?
virgos are undercover freaks (Yahoo) 1: Yeah, they are the biggest whores I know!!
high school teachers from st brigid's fucking (Google) 1: My alma school.
ho's fucking horses and dogs (Netscape) 1: That is just plain NASTY!
"bag o toys" for sale (Google) 1:Um, what KIND of toys? I sure as hell would not want some one's used sex toys!
"CONDOM REV" (Yahoo) 1 :Been there done that
"my husband has autism" (Google) 1:ROFLMFAO! I always joked that Pudd'n got his autism from his father!
"she got drunk" flask (Google) 1: Yeah and?
posted by Maeve at 12:08 AM
Friday, July 01, 2005
Had an excellent ride on Kip today. Dogs ate every pile of horse shit they could find. Got my hair colored and made it to the grocery store to get snacks, food and beverages for the weekend. This will be a bitter sweet 4th of July. It will be the last one held at Aunt Selma's beach front property.
What are your plans for the holiday weekend?