Your Bartender
Nick: Maeve
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Friday, May 30, 2008 Getting old sucksI never had sinus problems until my late 30's. It seems every year they get worse.My head feels like it is going to explode. Lucky for me Barb gave me the night off since I agreed to work tomorrow night. I thank all that is holy for that. My head really, really hurts. I'm going to go lay down now.
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Thursday, May 29, 2008 Steve does not call me "Evil Incarnate" for nothing...Ok, I don't know if it is because Pudd'n is hitting puberty, but getting him to say "U U" (his version of I love you) is like pulling teeth.Want a kiss? Then you get the top of his head or he presents his hand to be kissed. Brat. Remember back in Dec. when we moved his DVD player up high to where he now has to ask for movies to be changed out? Well, you want a movie changed, you better tell mommy "U U". MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, I'm desperete for some lov'n.
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Can you say PMS? Good, I thought you could.Judging by the level of irriatbility and my potty mouth lately, I'm right on time for a visit from Aunt Flo.I could not settle down from FM's visit last night until the 2nd period of the game. He bugs the crap out of me, but last night it was worse. It was a good game, the Pens got their heads outta their butts and came to life. I'm going to miss game 4 because I agreed to work. So by game 5, they'll be back in the motor city and I can watch them hoist the cup. I took Monday night off to watch this.
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008 Are you for real? What state do you live in? Oh yeah, the state of DENIAL.Nothing raises my blood pressure more then when the Fucking Moron comes over to "borrow" something.This ass wipe actually starts complaining about his kids. Are you for real ass hole? Lisa took off for three days (she's 15) and he's bitching that she's getting drunk and letting any random guy between her legs. When was the last time YOU were sober Fucking Moron? When was the last time you made sure you were a good example for your kids? When was the last time you made sure they went to school? Oh wait, you don't do that shit. Never have. Bart is bringing over "a piece of ass" all the time and running up the cable bill. What? doesn't he make enough money with his side business of selling pot? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT YOU FUCKING MORON!?!? I normally have several candles lit through out my house. They smell nice and they are relaxing. When the FM left, I had to lite them ALL because he stunk so bad. Ever stand near some one that smells like a distillery? Pudd'n wouldn't go near him and FM couldn't figure it out. Let's see ass wipe. My kid maybe sees you once or twice a year. He knows a fake when he sees one. So don't start playing "loving uncle" when you never come around. Oh yeah AND YOU FUCKING SMELL!
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Bitter.........party of.........the whole Pittsburg team..I am looking forward to seeing some more ass kicking tonight when I sit down to watch my boys get one game closer to hoisting Lord Stanley's cup.It seems the penguins are a wee bit bitter after last game. Waa waa sissy pants. Let's recap shall we? You accuse Ozzy of diving? Maybe he embelished that hit a bit, but YOU DON'T FUCKING GO UP AND CHECK THE GOALIE ASS HOLE. And how about TWO of YOUR players that purposly came up and slugged Franzen in the head??? You call that good sportsmanship? (Franzen just came back from a concusion). I know I'll be enjoying one of the bottles of scotch Dru gave me from her honeymoon as I watch the Redwings bring home the cup on Sat (or Monday if they don't sweep).
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More on that dumb ass "teacher"This Lady is far more eloquent in expressing her view on that shit stain they call for a teacher in FLA. She can express her views with out a potty mouth much better than I ever could.So, if you' like a more civil view, check her out. She all has a bunch of links too.
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008 This CUNT needs to be dragged off and shot.Chickie sent me this horrible story.The only thing that cunt of a "teacher" is teaching her students is intolerence. Yes I know first hand how disruptive a child with autism can be in a class room, but you DON'T degrade and humiliate them. Shit, you don't even do it to a "neuro typical" child. Where the fuck does this crab infested cum dumpster get off? She is obviously a selfish, self centered bitch that does not take in to considerations the ramifications of her actions. Chickie and I are ready to book a flight to FLA and hunt this bitch down. I'm sure the gators would enjoy eating her.
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I can't make this shit upLast night I had the table from hell.How bad were they? It was a party of four old ladies. Now I like the older generation and ya'll know I have some paitence. I had my groove going with the small rush that just came in, every thing going fine and then one of the women at the table couldn't make up her mind on what she wanted to eat. Senile lady#1: I want this artichoke dish, can I have shrimp with it? Me: Yes SL1: what else has shrimp? Me: I list several dishes SL1: Ok, but can I have shrimp with this artichoke dish? She could not wrap her head around the fact that even though the menu stated that the particular dish comes with chicken or shrimp for a few $$ more. She then just orders the arts with out any meat in it. Remember I mention the rush? Can't miss it. Place is filled, wait staff running about, very loud and noisy. Yeah, "where is our food" I heard at one point along with they wanted more dipping garlic, bread and hot water for a tea (I HATE hot teas). I get the food served aaaaaaand: Senile Lady #2: Why is there a 2nd plate under my food? Me: It is because your original plate is too hot (they do this for several of our meals) SL2: well I don't want it there! Take it away! At this point all I can do is laugh. It is that or poison the old bats. No sooner do I take the plate away she wants a TO GO box. I shit you not, she ate two bites and wanted to pack up the food. I brought the box and offered to box it up at the table. SL2: NO! I do it! I leave to go to check on another table and on my way back: SL2: This plate is too hot, you need to wrap my food for me. Of course they all want separte checks too. SL1: Can I get scallops with the meal I had? Where are the scallops? Me: we don't have scallops here ma'm. SL1: yes you do, I saw it on the menu. We do not, nor never had ever served scallops where I work. SL1: I want to try that meal again with scallops. Finally the more cognitive of the four tells her friend that we don't sell them and that they were not on the menu. SL1: ok, I want shrimp next time.
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Sunday, May 25, 2008 A hat tip to my favorite bus driver
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Friday, May 23, 2008 Vegas recapWhat a nice time we had.We were more than ready to come home. Steve is sicker than a dog right now. At first we thought it was because we made absolute pigs of ourselves last night at the Flamingo. They have a all you can eat shrimp, crab and other damn fine food buffets. We ate an obscene amount of food. No, really. The only thing different Steve had was the muscles and some sushi rolls. He is now wrapped up in bed under 3 blankets with his teeth chattering. Was it the food? Or did he catch some other random bug? I'm fine, sipping my whiskey. That's it! It is the whiskey! That is my story and I'm sticking to it. Any way, over the course of our trip we ate way too much rich food, fucked our brains out and walked every where. I can't believe how much Vegas has changed since the the last time I was there five years ago. And needless to say Steve was in for a bigger shock since the last time he set foot in Sin City. He made sure I took a lot of pictures to show his brother, the fucking moron. They both used to live there in the 80's and he was floored by the changes. We were both more than ready to come home this morning. Vegas has gotten way too over priced and over crowded. Next time we'll just do a weekend in San Diego. If anything we learned that we need to take the time away. Pudd'n needs a break from his neurotic parents.
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A few pics from our trip This was taken on our last night. I was feeling no pain. A bit of "Old Las Vegas". Fremont street was the best. This was taken at the miricle mile shops. Each crystal is individually hung. I'd hate to have to clean it. This was the hotel we stayed at. Yes, we rode the rollarcoaster. And what is Sin City with out some naughty lingerie?
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008 Viva Las Vegas tomorrow!OMG! Tomorrow we leave for Sin City.I can't wait and yet get panic attacks over the thought of it. I think I have most of my lists of instructions for my MIL while she is here the first day to take care of Pudd'n. I know Pudd'n is going to yank her chain big time. He'll say jump and she'll say how high?
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Monday, May 19, 2008 Check it Bitches!!! ( A.K.A. Dallas fans) My boys are now on the way to kicking some penguin ass for Lord Stanley's Cup.Redwings 08!!!!
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Friday, May 16, 2008 Found over at Rainbow Wolf's place
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T.G.I.F.In a few short days Steve and I will be in Vegas.ALONE. For the first time in 12 years a real vacation for just the two of us. Go to sleep when we want, wake up when we want, eat what and when we want. I think I'm even going to splurge and get a sexy nightie for the trip. I gave up wearing those I think 12 years ago sadly. They are not condusive for nursing mothers (lord knows I sure as hell did not feel sexay after pushing out a 10 lb child) and by the time I thought I could start wearing them the autism kicked in. Along with Pudd'n not sleeping. And ever since then I was just too damn tired to care what the hell I wore. Yep, I'm gonna go get me a nice red or black number today when I get out of work. I found a great web site to refresh my memory of what is out in Vegas to do/see/eat. Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to pack to wear. I am going to do my best not to look like "tired, haggard mom" for two days.
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008 More random shit.What time is it?10:06 pm What's your full name? Evil Incarnate, mistress of the dark What are you most afraid of ? Nothing, I work with teenagers for Christ’s sake What is the most recent movie that you have seen in a theater? I’m lucky to remember what I had for lunch let alone a movie! Place of birth? Gates of hell Favorite food ? Brendan Shanahan with a side of Lucille’s BBQ sauce What's your natural hair color ? At this point in my life gray. Ever been to Alaska ? No, but I’ve been to the U.P. of Michigan. That counts don’t it? Love someone so much it made you cry? I am a mother. Of course. Been in a car accident ? Yes Croutons or bacon bits? Fuck the salad, give me some real food. Favorite day of the week ? Any day that I can get laid. Favorite restaurant ? Lucille’s Favorite Flower ? Purple, pink or black magic roses Favorite sport to watch ? DUH!!! Favorite drink ? Double DUH!!! Favorite ice cream ? Mint & chocolate chip Disney or Warner Brothers ? Fuck them, I enjoy me some of the Wicked Wanda cartoons. Ever been on a ship ? Yep What color is your bedroom carpet ? Dog hair How many times did you fail your driver's test ? Nevah! Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail ? Remember the question about the movie? Same answer. What do you do when you are bored ? Gas light my husband. Bedtime ? When ever I can pass out. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest ? Who ever is sober…….or drunk. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond ? Do I look like a fucking psychic? Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses? I know all the answers, all my friends are freaks of nature. Favorite TV show ? Rescue me Last person you went to dinner with ? Athena & Aussie What are your favorite colors ? Slut red How many tattoos do you have ? 5 and when I get that stupid stimulus package, I’ll get another. How many pets do you have? Do husbands count? Which came first, the chicken or the egg ? Like I fucking care. Give me the cure for autism. What do you want to do before you die ? Make Brendan Shanahan my personal play ground and fuck him six ways to Sunday. Have you ever been to Hawaii ? Nope. Have you been to countries outside the US ? Yes, I’ve been to Detroit many times. Time this survey ended ? 10:17 pm One word that best describes the sender of this message ? Sensious.
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Tuesday, May 13, 2008
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Mmmmm VirginsI've had my share of virgins in my life.My favorite cherry popping? It was when I took Spaz and then Lissie to see this movie . I cannot look at Tim Curry and not think of him in this role.
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I need to get off my lazy ass and find my camera  Well here are some shitty pics of the darling cat that Dru got all us Witches. What is ironic is that I've been drooling over this little darling for some time in a magazine that I get on a regular basis. Dru always knows how to find just the right gift. The top picture shows the bottles of Scotch and decanter she got me. And if you look real close in the back you can see the Jessica Galbreth statue she got me for Yule. I LOVE me some Jessica Galbreth! She is my favorite artist. Right now I'm relaxing with some whiskey and kissing the stuffing out of my kid. This time next week I'll be a basket case and packing for our trip. Hopefully Steve won't smother me because I'm getting really neurotic in my old age about traveling. Naaaaaaaa, he won't do that. He needs me to take care of Pudd'n.
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Sunday, May 11, 2008 Just what I neededLast night was a blast.It was so great to see the girls and cut loose. Dru's new hair cut is darling. Aussie pouted because Athena wouldn't let her wear jammie pants to my house. Dru's dog Lucy passed on the tourch of being neurotic to the puppy Dru just got a few months back. Maggie now makes the demonic noises from under the table instead of Lucy. Dru regaled us with the tale of the honeymoon from hell and Lili's husband made a cameo apperance. Dru had lovely gifts for all of us from said honeymoon. She gave me two bottles of well aged scotch, a darling cat with witche's hat on top of a box and a crystal decanter set with a thistle engraved on the front. The girls made me laugh all night. It was just what I needed.
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Friday, May 09, 2008 Any one get the number of that truck???Gotdamn am I exhausted.My last two tables were "campers". Fuckers. I would of been home an hour earlier if I did not have them. As I walked out the door I called Steve and asked him to mix me a stiff drink. One of my coworkers heard me and started laughing at me. My knees are killing me. I need to take more glucosemine. I perked up a bit today with the kids I work with. The teacher had a meeting to attend, so I was in charge of the class. Holy shit did those little fuckers push every single one of my buttons. But they did it in a funny way, they were not malicious about it. I was in a good mood until I came home to several emails from Pudd'ns teacher. I haven't been blogging about that small drama because I'm tired of whining/bitching. Well, holding that in bit me in the ass. I now have several cancker sores forming in my mouth. I had vented a bit to Sheri, formally of Farm Wife. She has two children with autism and knows exactly where I'm coming from. Long story short. I lit in to Pudd'ns teacher about several things and now I get to battle the twit that is in charge of the augamenative device. Pudd'n mastered the 6 picture one she gave us in one day. Now I need something more challanging. Still havent heard from her. Bitch. Tomorrow the witchies come over and I got more food then I know what to do with. Time to get my drink on and do some tarot card readings.
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BlahI'm feeling edgy and irritible today.I have no clue why. I definitly am ready for our Vegas trip, but that is creating anxiety all in its self.
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Wednesday, May 07, 2008 Do you?My Evil Auntie sent this a few years ago. I just found it in my archives and laughed my ass off.I'm going to have this "ear worm" all night now............
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Son of a BITCH!!!!My living room tv is suddenly on its last legs. The color started going out last night and a big black line kept going through the picture. Normally I really wouldn't care and would not be in a hurry to get a new one, but it is the Stanley Cup Play offs! I must have the live, visual viewing pleasure of Detroit kicking the shit out of Dallas.The tv is 12 years old and I should not be suprised that it is finally going out. It is always some thing eh? I'm going to the big warehouse chain when I get out of work today to scope out their selections of tvs.
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Tuesday, May 06, 2008 Survey says!1. Do you like blue cheese?Oh hell NO. 2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No thanks; I’d rather spend my money on whiskey & Party lite candles 3. Do you own a gun? # Does the ones my husband have count?? 4. What flavor do you add to your drink? Whiskey 5. Do you get nervous before doctor Appointments? Nope 6. What do you think of hot dogs? They taste best while sitting in a hockey rink. 7. Favorite Christmas movie? National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. 8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Whiskey with a beer chaser 9. Can you do push ups? What the hell for? 10. Age? 41………..HOLY SHIT I’M 41!!!!! 11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? A nice pearly necklace *wink wink* 12. Favorite hobby? Drinking and chatting on line with my bitches 13. Favorite Actor? Johnny Depp 14. Do you have A.D.D.? Huh? What was the question? 15. What's one trait you hate about yourself? Nothing. I am perfect. 16. Middle name? Jean (My mom wanted to name me Dorothy Jean after grandma, but she vetoed it.) 17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment 1. I need more whiskey 2. Can't wait to watch the Redwings knock the shit out of Dallas this Thurs. 3. I need more whiskey 18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday/today: 1. Whiskey 2. Make your own dildo mold 3. Milk 19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? 1. Whiskey 2. Water 3. Whiskey 20. Current worry? Who is going to love and cherish my son when I’m worm food? 21. Current hate right now? Wasted energy. 22. Favorite place to be? Viva Las Vegas!!!!! 23. How did you bring in the New Year? I worked until 8 pm and then went to bed. 24. Where would you like to go? Well, I’ve already gone crazy. So I think I’d like to go to Ireland next. 25. Tag three people with this: 1. LL 2. Rainbow Wolf 3. Artemis 26. Why are you on the computer? avoiding reality 27. What color are your eyes? Dark brown 28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Never had the pleasure 29. Can you whistle? With out my acrylic nails, very loudly 30. Favorite color? Slut red 31. Would you be a pirate? Only if Cap'n Jack Sparrow was at the wheel. 32. What songs do you sing in the shower? None, I don't want my ears to bleed. 33. Favorite girl's name? Brenna 34. Favorite boy's name? Anthony, Aiden 35. What is in your pocket right now? I have no pockets 36. Last thing that made you laugh? my son. 37. Best bed sheets as a child? Fuck, I’m lucky to remember what I had for lunch. 38. Worst injury you've ever had? When I missed a step and went head first down Spaz's basement steps. The trip to the hospital was hysterical though. 39. Do you love where you live? It is a love/hate relationship. 40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3 41. Who is your loudest friend? It is a tie between Spaz, Babs and the Parafin Pimp. 42. How many dogs do you have? Two, soon to be one. 43. Does someone have a crush on you? BUHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh hell no! 44. What is your favorite book(s)? The Stand 45. Where were you born? At the gates of hell according to my husband. 46. What is your favorite candy? Brendan Shanahan 47. Favorite Sports Team? Duh, you have to live in a cave if you don’t know I love the Redwings. 48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Black Magic Woman 49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Dreaming of being the meat in a Brendan Shanahan & Johnny Depp sandwhich. 50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Shit, how much did I drink last night?
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Pudd'n and his "Shadow". This is Pudd'n as a toddler with our neighbor's dog Shadow.He loved his "Shadow girl". Shadow's owner Margaret lived in the condo next to us. We became fast friends and would exchange baby sitting duties. I'd watch Shadow when she'd go out of town and she'd baby sit Pudd'n for us. If she left her back patio sliding door open, Shadow would come over in a heart beat. Often I'd get a phone call saying to return Shadow when Pudd'n was done playing with her. Margaret has two grown sons that I'd see once in a while. Her oldest was a paramedic and always managed to freak us out when he'd come to visit while on duty. Your first thought at seeing a paramedic truck in front of her house is "holy shit! what happened?!" Then you remember, ohhhhhh, it's only Justin. Justin met and fell in love with a great gal named Shanon. They got married and a few years later had twin boys. I had the pleasure of going to the shower and Maragret would always email me photos of the boys. We hadn't been as close as we used to be these past few years. We both moved from our condos and are now living in separate cities. This weekend when we went to the autism conference I noticed this good looking, tall, red headed young man. OMG! It is Justin! My joy at seeing Justin turned to "aww FUCK." There is only one reason why he'd be there. Both of his boys were diagnosed last year. Lucky for them, things have come a long way since when we were first shoved in to the world of autism. They too have been on the path of diet, suppliments, OT/PT, speech and other sundries that you do when your child is diagnosed. Their boys are higher functioning and they have a bright future. We were happy to get caught up on each other's lives. I just wish it wasn't at this type of function. Afterwards we met Athena & Aussie for dinner. My brain was fried. The conference was 9 am to 4:30 pm and we didn't learn anything new. *heavy sigh* At least now they are saying "the diet may not work for every one" as opposed to when we did it the message was "if you don't do this, you are a shitty parent for impeeding the progress of your child". They are now also lumping everything thing we've done in to a "protocal" for easing the symptoms of autism. We had a good laugh over that one. Everything they said to do we've "been there done that" with out any one telling us. Oh well. At least it was a nice end to a crappy day. The food was good, we ate whaaaayy too much and had to waddle out to the car.
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Sunday, May 04, 2008 It is not "obscene", but I figured you'd enjoy it any way Assrot..jpg) I had this taken (and several others) for Steve one year for his birthday.
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For your viewing pleasure This is me about 15 yrs old. The kids are my youngest siblings. They were the best birthcontrol I ever had. This is me that fall. Such a bad ass eh?  And here we are again. My sister A on the left is now 5'10 and my brother R on the right is 6'4.They are going to get such a kick out of these photos. Some days I really wish I never left Michigan.
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Friday, May 02, 2008 My dad is in the top row in the middle. The one in the bow tie. Gotdamn am I tired. I've been sleeping like crap all week. In my comments below, Marcy has an excellent idea for my photos. Only problem is, I have an obscene amount of photos and no time to do what she suggested. My youngest sister will be getting the lion's share of the photos. She is a freak about photos like I am. Any photos from my mom's side of the family will go to my cousin S.R. I know she will get a kick out of the pictures of her mother in her yoot ( her mom was "crazy aunt" that died last year when I went home for my sister's wedding). Ok, time to curl up next to the hub on the couch and watch the tube. Have a good weekend. |
