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Wednesday, July 30, 2008 OOOOO more crap from my photo albums!!! This is me & Steve on our official blind date for the company Yule party.My Goomba!!! I don't know what it is about seeing him in a suit, but GOTDAMN do I just get all tinlgly in my naughty bits.............. He's got less hair now and I have way too much poundage, but damn aint' it fun to look at these old photos.
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Bozo and his Big Top. As ya'll can tell, I'm going through old photos.This is me & Bozo. I got to go to his show on a regular basis. I know I have put in past posts the "connections" my mother had when I was a wee lass. You can't work the bars in Detroit with out forming a few "connections". My mom was HAWT in her heyday. She had a lot of men sniffing around her promising shit. She never took the bait. She could always see through their bullshit. She always told me men were "wolves" and not to trust them. She also told me when I was 15 years old "Maeve, your throat won't get pregnant". My mother was a wise woman.
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Can I haz ur Tush???? I was going through my photos and came across this picture and thought I'd post it for my favorite Wiseass Jooette .For those peeps that are not in the know, this is Neil Dimond. My mother went to a LOT of his concerts and actually got to meet him several times.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008 My husband rawks...........Spend close to 20 years with some one and they tend to get to know ya.I called Steve with the news of "biopsy" and "skin cancer on the face" and he knew I'd be freak'n a bit. He came home early with some lovely orange roses (yes orange. I'm not a fan of red ones unless they are of the black magic varitey and yes I know the difference). I had a few drinks, gave him some oral pleasure to thank him for the roses and knowing me so well. Since I had a few drinks I had him drive me to work. The drought is over with.............. My first table was a lovely french woman with 3 well behaved darling children. They wanted to know my name so they could ask for me next time. 2nd table was a couple that could not keep their hands off each other. 3rd table was a woman, nurse and older gal with alzheimers. I could tell the daughter was a bit frazzled and her mother reminded me of Amy, a former client at Slappy's. I listened to the mother and conspired with her to "sneak out the side door and get the heck outta here". Of course that did not happen, but I did my best to make the mom feel like she wasn't losing it when we all know they are with that horrible disease. The rest of the night was a blurr. I had a party of 13 followed by a party of 15 all the while waiting on a few other tables. I made good money. When Steve picked me up he had a really stiff drink in a to go cup. I had a nice buzz going by the time we made it through the golden arches for Pudd'n and we got home. Life is good.
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Shake, rattle and roll...............I'm having kinda of a crappy morning. I went to see the dermatologist to get a few spots checked on my face. I have to make an appointment for a biopsy.Yippee skippy. Fuck. Not only does the image of one of the women I work with at the high school keeps flashing through my head (she had half her cheek cut in to because of cancer) I'm going to have to stay out of the ocean for seven damn days after the biopsy. Gotdamn it!!! I picked up Pudd'n from my mom's and took him out for breakfast. He really just picked and that made me sad. He hasn't eaten at this place in a long time and he used to love eating here. So we left and I'm kinda in my own world thinking on how fun it is going to be waitressing with band aids on my face and having to stay out of the ocean. I'm stopped at the left turn lane when all of a sudden I feel the magic bus rocking? I don't know how to explain the feeling. I checked my rear view, did some one hit me??? The light turns green and I'm really in a funk now. Is there something wrong with the van mechanically? I get a phone call from Steve, we had a 5.4 earthquake. That is what I felt while sitting at the light. So far the only bright spot in my day is that the fucktard Savage has lost sponsors over his comments about children with autism. Both the Wiseass Jooette and Chickie had sent me the link. I think the Wiseass Jooette sums it up best with "I have skid marks in my underpants that are classier than that dooshbag". It gave me great pleasure to read this in the newspaper: Autism United, the group that led a rally against Michael Savage in New York this week, said Friday that a slew of national advertisers will pull back their sponsorship of the The Michael Savage Show. Anheuser Busch, Sears, Radio Shack, Direct Buy, Cisco and Home Depot will no longer advertise, according to Autism United. AFLAC Insurance earlier this week quit its ads. Savage has also been dropped by the Super Talk Network, which had him on seven Mississippi radio stations; and by single stations in Cleveland and Charlottesville, Virginia. Autism United will protest outside radio stations in San Francisco and New York on Sunday, the group announced.
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Monday, July 28, 2008 GP has a fan clubThe drama continued yesterday at the beach.Luckily I had Steve with me because he had some information that I did not. For the past 3 years since Aunt Selma had to sell her beach front home, we've been going to this spot. There is this little club house, tennis court, play area and life guard tower. This place is private and for members only of a local Mobile home park. You need to live there and use a pass to get in. This club house and amenities is surrounded by a fence on 3 sides. The side where there is no fence faces the ocean. Got all that? Ok, we trek down to our usual spot in front of the life guard tower. We are about a foot from the end of the fence on either side of us. We are not inside the fenced area what so ever. So here comes Mr. life guard to give us the "no dogs" rule and Steve patiently explains to him about GP being service dog. "Ok, but this is a private beach sir. You are still going to have to move". Back the bus up Jr., this is NOT a private beach. What is inside of your fenced area is private. Where we are is not. The first year we started going to this spot a cop on an ATV was patrolling, Steve asked him our rights and if this was indeed a private beach as rumor had it. Any thing out side of that fence was county property. The beach club did not own it, they can't own it. Steve had told me next time some ass hole "claims" to be a board member of said beach club to tell them to call the cops. I'm on county property and while he's at it can I have his information so we can sue the beach club for harassment against a child with a disability. Again, I only sit in this spot in stead of going to a different location where I won't be harrassed is because of the life guard. When they come to tell me "no dogs" I can tell them "non verbal child, please keep an extra eye out". Hell, I've even had a few come tell me when the tides would be changing and to be extra aware myself. So we parked our butts and had a nice day at the beach before I had to go to work. The under tow was swift again so I did not take GP out with me. It was too dangerous. As I came out of the water a lady approached me and said that her son in law saw us yesterday and loved watching us. He got all excited thinking I was taking GP surfing again. I told her I was sorry, but the under tow was too strong. I've had people take our pictures before too while we surf. I'm hoping today is better for surfing. I'd never thought I'd say this, but it is fun!
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Sunday, July 27, 2008 GP and a mini GP OMG don't you just want to squeeze and love that face!!  Damn camera phone has a delay. I missed some great shots. No I did not completely lose my mind and get a puppy. We got to see this darling ball of fur at the beach yesterday. This family has been admiring GP for the past 3 years at the beach and they finally got their own. I was bummed they didn't go to my breeder, but happy they didn't go to the pet store for a puppy mill dog. They went to a beeder in Ramona. I was able to write down what food & suppliments I give GP. I swear by Missing Link Plus. I like that food suppliment so much I even purchase it for Osgood. We pretty much had a nice time at the beach. We got harrassed twice by a party that was going on in the club house by the life guard tower we camp out at. The life guard of course has to say "no dogs allowed" and we say "service dog" and that is that. Well the door monitor for the club house comes up and gives me the no dogs allowed spiel. I tell her "service dog". The little brat then tells me "yeah, well every one is coming up to me and telling me that dogs are not allowed". I sternly tell her that this is my son's service dog. She is more than welcome to see his service dog card or any one else that cares to take a look. She rolls her eyes at me and walks off. 2 hours go by and some guy comes up and starts in on me. He tried to tell me "he's on the board" and some other shit. I'm irritated by now and my voice gets a really bitchy tone as I tell him that GP is a service dog and we've got every right to be there. I also fill him in on the ADA of 1990 and Mr. bonehead finally gets the point that he's not going to bully me and I'm not lying just to have my dog with me. I can see his buddy coming to back him up or what ever and Mr. bone head turns around to leave and shoo his wing man off. Dumb ass. He's lecturing me when he's holding a beer in his hand? Fucktard, there is no alcohol allowed on the beach either!!! I can see if my dog were running around, disturbing their party. Or is GP was chasing children or just being a pest. GP is none of those things. He is either by my side, on my boogie board or laying in the shade of the umbrella with me. Well, we are off to the beach again today. We'll see what fun if any awaits us.
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Friday, July 25, 2008 I feel like such a slacker.........I actually slept in until 7 am today. I normally don't get that pleasure. I'm usually up by 5 or 6 am.Guess I won't get everything done before my dr. appointment this morning. Oh well. Yesterday I dropped Pudd'n off at my mom's earlier than normal. Steve was working late and I wanted a few hours to my self. Yeah, sure, I get that in the morning after Pudd'n goes to school. But in those hours I'm cooking, cleaning or running errands. I wanted some time for me. Sad thing was I didn't do any thing exciting. I did get to chat on line for a bit with Spaz. We were hoping Lissie could make it before we petered out. We had been drinking and we were both tired. How tired was I? I went to bed at 8pm. Steve was home by 6 and I had a hard time keeping my eyes open while we watched some programs we had taped. And that is it for my exciting world!
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008 No wonder I'm tired....By 10 am this morning I have managed to:1. work out on the ellipitcal for 30 min 2. make dinner for tonight 3.get pudd'n ready for school 4. bake white choc/raspberry cheese cake 5. unload dish washer 6. reload & start dish washer 7. make up care package for my marine 8. get Osgood to vet for rabies & fecal exam 9. mail off package to my marine. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go take a nap.
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008 Because this is too damn funny to leave in my comments......I bring to you the poetic brilliance of JihadGene .Poem To a Cat You ate my chips, You drank my beer. Is huntin' season already here? Now put these antlers on, my dear. Don't be afraid...show no fear. An accidental discharge? Never happen here. Sooo... in my scope the target's near. One B B meant, for my cat's rear. I'm a cat lover. Through and through! I know I can't shoot, that cat, it's true. Next time I go to get beer for me and you, I'll get some for my cat... That sucker drinks too!
And what is really funny is that little
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Pudd'n & his "Grampy" Here is Pudd'n and his grampy doing one of Pudd'ns most favorite things. They are playing "roll around and tickle". Another thing that they do is play "chase". My mom always said that K. is going to drop dead from a heart attack from running around with Pudd'n. Just like what happened to Don Corlione in the Godfather. I always reply with "better than the time when you gave him a heart attack during sex". Either way, my step father would go out with a smile on his face. I am really lucky, even though K is my step father, he's always treated Pudd'n as if he were his own flesh & blood. K was a lousy father, so I guess he's making up for lost time. I'm just glad Pudd'n has him in his life. They truly do love each other.
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Monday, July 21, 2008 What a weekend!We had a busy and exhausting weekend. Friday night Pudd'n did not sleep. I finally had kicked him out of our room at 1 am to go watch tv in his room. I have no clue as to what time he did pass out. I managed to drag my carcass out of bed at 8 am. I needed to make a pasta salad and I wanted to make sure Pudd'n got up in a timely manner so we could get to the beach before it got crowded.Turns out I did not need to worry about the beach. It was cold and over cast the entire time we were there. Waves were rough too. After the surfers left, we were the only ones on the beach the entire time we were there. I made Pudd'n leave after 3 hours. It was just too damn cold and I still had to wash GP. I thought for sure Pudd'n would pass out Sat night, but he didn't. Again he was up until the wee hours of the morning. WTF??? This time I dragged my carcass out of bed at 7 am. I needed to color my hair and get a few things in order around the house. At 11:30 we had a bbq to go to at the lake, at 1:30 my step sister was having a party for her daughter's christening and at 7pm Kerri and her beau George were coming over for drinks & appetizers. Yep. Kerri was coming over. This was actually the 3rd time we've gotten together. I'm slowly getting the story of what has been going on since she left her husband. I know a major influence was J.J., a girl she befriended at where she worked. I never cared for J.J., there was nothing I could put my finger on why I didn't. She was always cordial to me. Any way, J.J is out of the picture and Kerri is getting her life together with her new man. I like George a lot better then Kerri's husband. I am hoping she will continue to climb out of the dark pit and we can start to be friends again. My neighbor Candy stopped over too and we had a great time. Now I am paying for the food I ate all day. I made the biggest pig out of my self at my step sister's. They had Mexican food catered and it was damn good. We ate a lot at my house too. One of the things that Kerri and I have in common is when we have guests over, we make a boat load of food. So there is plenty of left overs today between what we both made and I feel like a bloated pig. Soon as Pudd'n goes to school I'm dragging my sorry ass back to bed.
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Saturday, July 19, 2008 I can haz yor tato chips.......... I have used a squirt bottle. I have used an empty can with pennies in it to startle As you can see........nothing phases this little
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Friday, July 18, 2008 Screwing with bartender KevinWork started out slow tonight. Several of us were hanging out at table 200 in the bar. Kevin makes a smarmy remark on how "it must be nice to sit around and do nothing".I'm sitting on the out side of booth. I swing my legs to the isle, pat my lap and say: "Come sit on momma's lap sugar and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up". Kevin said "thanks, but no. I'm safer behind the bar". Later on I had some customers that ordered Tequila Sun rise and Screw Driver. I haven't served those drinks since the 80's. I asked Kevin if the Screw Driver got any fruit with it. Kevin got this grin on his face and I could see the wheels turning. He was trying to think of something suggestive to say since I said "screw driver". I told him: "Not a Slow Screw Up the Wall, a screw driver honey" Kevin starts laughing and proceeds to tell me he wishes I was 15 years younger. Me: Awwwwww, does the big bad older lady scare you?? Kev: Um, yeah.........you do intimidate me. Me: Pffft....even if I was 15 years younger, you STILL couldn't handle it sweet heart.
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Thursday, July 17, 2008 I stole this from Jack over at Murder & MayhemMy new living will......I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers, doctors, hospitals interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following: __X____a Martini ___X___a Margarita __X____ a Scotch______a Bloody Mary ______a Gin and Tonic ___X____a Glass of Chardonnay _X_____a Steak ___X___Lobster or crab legs ______The remote control ___X___a bowl of ice cream __X____The sports page __X____Chocolate or __XXXX____Sex, It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had. Signature: ___________________________ Dated this _____day of ______________, 200 __
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I can haz your artery (deleted)It seems I am not the only one with a spawn of satan all wrapped up in a cute ball of fur. Go here for a good laugh, just make sure all liquids are away from your monitor. You will be spewing them.A hat tip to my favorite bus driver for my morning giggle.
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Wednesday, July 16, 2008 Murphy's LawWe had a great time at the fair yesterday. This was the first year that Pudd'n really seemed excited to be there. We ran in to his former teacher Donna with her class. It is easy to find Donna's class in that crowd because of her aid Laura. Picture Betty Boop with blond hair and you have Laura. That girl's hair does not move no matter what ride she goes on. I did not get to play with any goats because none of the petting zoos were open until noon. At noon we were getting some food and then had to leave shortly there after. Pudd'n was on over load and desperet to leave. We ran into another former teacher of his on the way out and he wanted nothing to do with her. He wanted to leave now.I was going to take the night off of work because I'm usually pretty whipped after a few hours in the hot sun at the fair. Even though the crowd we were with would not bat an eye if Pudd'n pulled one of his behaviors, I'm still stressed. Just on the ride there was filled with stress. We told him we were going to the fair (we've been going for 9 years) he would still not eat his breakfast. Plus we still had the stress of worrying "is he going to crap his pants?". Any way, I didn't take the night off because we have been so slow. I may not make a lot of money in tips, but at least I'd get the hourly wage in. Murphy's Law came a calling. We had a party of 50 and the bus boy did not show up. So we were running our butts off getting every thing done. I had managed to get the ice filled up before the rush hit. Bread was still frozen when shoved in to the oven to bake. So that came out really crunchy. Yuck. I did not get out of there until 9 pm and boy was I whipped.
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008 Gonna get me some GOATS!We are off to our annual trip to the fair. I'm hoping Pudd'n will last long enough so I can go see the goats in the petting zoo. Yeah, I look pretty dorky with no kid in tow in those things. But who cares? I love me some goats!Labels: fair grounds, goats
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Sunday, July 13, 2008 Best day eveah!Pudd'n and I had a blast yesterday. We finally made it down to the beach for the first time. GP didn't know wether to shit or go blind he was so excited about finally going. Pudd'n had a smile plastered on his sweet face the entire 4 hours we were there. I knew we could of stayed longer, but GP and I were whipped. Plus we had to cart all the beach gear back to the Magik bus and get every one cleaned up. GP was moving real slow as was I. Pudd'n? he was wired for sound and racing through the house the rest of the night.Ugh! It was a fun day and now I'm really sore from playing in the surf. I can't wait until next Sat. to do it again. Nothing makes my world so perfect as to see my son happy and content playing out side.
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Friday, July 11, 2008 One ringie dingie...........I was chatting with an oldAny way, I sent him some of the pictures that I have been going through.(I've taken every one's advice and scanned my favorite ones first) R. got a kick out of seeing some of the old crew in the photos I had. Demon Spawn is in full force. He's got a bug up his kitty butt and I'm gonna get it. I'm standing in the kitchen with nothing but a night shirt on, trying to get a pot out of the cupboard because Pudd'n wants something to eat and here comes Osgood hell bent for leather. He's itch'n to climb up my leg to get to my shoulder. Me: Ah hell! you know when a kitten get "that look "on their face and you know you are in deep shit? R: Yeah, I used to see it on your face all the time........... Me: Touche.
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The Devil's Spawn..........Yep, that is what I'm going to change Osgood's name to.Devil Spawn. Holy shit I swear that cat is possessed! I took him in to the vet's the day before yesterday to get him de wormed and another vaccine. He was not going to let them take his temp. no matter what. The vet came out and told me she was happy to see Osgood back to his normal "precocious" self. Trying to watch tv last night was next to impossible with a rambuncious kitten bouncing off of your head and clawing the shit out of your legs. I'm lucky though, he leaves Pudd'n alone and Pudd'n ignores Osgood. Poor Steve looks as if he fell in to a pile of barbed wire his back is so cut up from Ozzy's claws. Pudd'n and I had a great time at the pool today. Now I need to go lay down before I have to slap on the war paint. Ya'll behave and quit licking the windows on the bus.
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Thursday, July 10, 2008 Because as usual I got shit to write about and this is for a good cause.I'm swiping this from LL over at Chromed Curses. It is for a good cause and it is FREE so DO IT!Care packages are being made up for our Marines, you pick what you want in the package and click on the easy peasy link on the right hand side (it says Support our Troops). It takes 2 seconds. Go here and do it NOW. Don't make me get the flying monkeys..........
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Tuesday, July 08, 2008 Old age and trechery will ALWAYS over come youth & skill.......I'm schedualed to come in to work @ 4pm.Laura thinks she is supposed to be in at the same time because she does not read the schedual. She is not to be there until 5:30 pm. It has been clearly obvious that we don't need many people on the floor, so Laura does not even have to come in now. Danni comes in after chatting with Laura and for some strange reason, she thinks she is to get Laura's coveted station. Oh hell no sweet pants. Once I learn Laura will not even be on the floor I ask for her station, since I'm first in, I get it. Danni tried to object, but too bad! Ha! The coveted station is mine! You ain't that slick Danni!
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So where is the cake???Go on over and wish my favoriteWe were thinking about getting you a stripper to celebrate, but then Vman offered to put on his special dress..........and well........that kind of killed that idea. Any way, thanks for all the great quizzes, pictures of Miss Marylin and all that other good stuff you post.
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Monday, July 07, 2008 Damn, I need to win the lottery........I should be slapping on the war paint and getting to work right now. But some how sitting on my fine Celtic ass in front of the a/c sounds more appealing.Well, maybe if I had a nice frosty mug of beer and Brendan Shanahan giving me a neck rub Ya'll be have and quit picking at that thing. You'll leave a scar.
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Sunday, July 06, 2008 Good food & Great friends This is Dru's husband. I got the biggest kick out of his shirt. Yeah, simple minds simple pleasures. Any way, we had a real nice time yesterday. Steve and I hit up the out let mall and dropped some $$$. We ran in to Athena & Aussie on our way out. They were there to do some damage them selves. I got some great stuff we needed and few cute tops from Lame Giant. We headed to Casa De Lili for some great food & fun. Her step son Je was there and he showed off his latest lego creation, that kid is talented when it comes to that stuff! Her son Jo was there and he was trying to work the "thug" look. Any way, every one finally showed up and we had a great time. Dru's husband brought a bottle of 30 year old Scotch Malt Whiskey for us to share. We damn near finished the bottle by the time I left. We had to leave early to let the sitter go home and to beat the closing of the Ortegas for the night. Can't wait to see them again.
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