Ok, I did Chickie's first one, so I guess I'll do the dirty one. Besides, LL threw down a double dog dare to any one to do this.
Q. When he smacks your ass while in the doggie-style position, do you later rake your nails down his back as soon as the opportunity presents itself, not because you are in the throes of passion and unable to control yourself, but because you’re thinking, “that’ll fucking teach you to leave a welt on my ass, muthafucka”?
A. Oh hell no. But if you are smacking my ass, you'd better be pulling my hair too.
Q. When you scream and moan during intercourse, do you have different levels for faking it, depending on how hard his dick happens to be that particular time? (Let’s face it, there’s nothing better than morning wood, any other time of day that thing isn’t going to match the working over it gave you first thing in the morning)
A. I never fake it. And of course I'm louder when Pudd'n is not home. Oh and my hub's dick is always rock hard.
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Q. Do you give him a blowjob after a long day at work, or do you only do it when that nasty thing has just exited the shower?and…When you DO give him a blowjob, is it usually something more than 1000 dollars that you’re going for afterwards?and…After he has an orgasm while you have just performed your best fellatio, do you rush right up to kiss him while thinking, “if I’m getting that shit in MY mouth, then so are you!!!”?
A. Steve works out in the field all day. You can not pay me enough to get near his nasty ass after he comes home. He needs to shower up! In fact, he loves to tease me and say he's saving all his manly smell just for me to bury my nose in.
B. I don't have a hidden agenda for giving head. I will "reward" him with extra ones when he goes above and beyond with house hold stuff. Or running to the store late at night when I have a craving or run out of booze.
C. Na, don't bother kissing him. He's usually passed out.
Q. When you get a leg cramp during some funky ass position he’s decided is “hot”, do you let him think the yelps are due to his effort, or do you kick his ass out of you until you can get the cramp out?
A. Switch positions and pronto!
A. I have been with him for almost 18 years. He's seen and heard it all.
Q.After he empties himself inside you, do you lie there and feign “basking in the afterglow of his love”, or do you roll his ass off of you, reach for the nearest towel or kleenex to cram between your legs before you run to the bathroom and quickly expel that sticky mess?
A. Roll his ass off and get to the bathroom. Like I said, 18 years.........."basking in after glow" has been looooooooong gone.
One more just cuz…
Q.Do you suck your partners toes?
A. OH HELL NO!!!! His feet are nasty!!!
Labels: Nasty dirty meme, TMI