People that know me can tell ya' I do love my Beer. When my husband told me we were getting stationed in Germany again I almost wept. I was that damn happy to get back to all this yummy Beer. Am I a Beer Snob? Honestly...a little. I will admit that. I can be a bit of an ass when it comes to beer. Now I'll try anything once but don't be putting no cheap ass Beer in front of me 'cause I ain't touching it. A few years back while we were still stationed stateside I got all homesick for my Home State of Georgia. I was feeling all kinds of nostalgic for my youthful days spent down at the riverbanks. Those hot humid summer days when I was first being introduced to the lovely world of Beer. Back in those days I only drank beer from a can. I did not have my first bottled beer until I was stationed in England and that opened my eyes.

Aaaaah.....BEER.

Soo anyway on this day of me feeling all homesick I actually went to a store and paid MONEY for a 6 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon....that would be CANNED Pabst Blue Ribbon and I gave that Easter Egg head shaped man behind the counter money out of my wallet.

I should have stole that beer because it was pure horsepiss. I kept 5 of the cans in my fridge for the longest time and it was soo hard for me to pour that stuff down the sink. I mean I never wanted to taste it again but when I poured that Pabst down the drain I felt like I was pouring my teenage years down along with it.

But that's what happens right? We grow up, we change, we evolve, we like different things, we get picky about certain stuff and we learn to appreciate good booze.

Soo for your enjoyment I will post this.

Ya'll have a good night.

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward
ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house
training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of
face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and
textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal
limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was
them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room
you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.