FAMILY TIES THAT BIND AND GAG..............

Yep, for those of you who are an Erma Bombeck fan, that is where I got the title of this post from. I've been thinking of family dynamics lately and how they effect your life. Then over at Sandy's place she asked an innocent enough question and Goddamn if that did not open a flood gate of wonderfully suppressed emotions. Sorry Sandy for ranting at your place........
What was the innocent question? "what quirks do you have that you got from family?".
My answer was the fact that I had to clean my plate. I stopped trying new foods because of this, even if I took a small portion and did not like it. I had to eat it. Then of course when you go out to eat, they give you big portions, too bad, eat it all. What does this teach you? Not to trust when you are full and to not to trust yourself. Top that with the fact that your father seems to love his other children from his other wives more than you and you have a nice self esteem issue brewing here. OH! and then to top off that crappy self esteem issue, your father tells you you need to lose weight! Oh joy! Who is he comparing you too? It was the era of "twiggy", that emaceated creature that so many women tourchered themselves to look like. Then there was my cousin, who was petite and pencil thin. At 12 years old I was 5'10, had big boobs and curves in all the right places. I had to shop in the women's dept, hell, I could wear my mom's clothes. And because I had to shop in the women's dept, I was labeled "fat" by my family. Well, everyone but my mother. She told me I was fine and beautiful. No, wait, it was my father's side (and wives) of the family that made me feel like shit. My Evil Auntie (my mom's sister) used to tell me "it's ok Maeve, you'll like your boobs soon enough, women pay money to get them".
Ah fuck, I'm ranting here, but who cares right? Lack of sleep and a cranky sick child will do that to you.
The moon is now starting to wane. For those of you who don't follow the craft as I do, to me this is a time to rid myself of unwanted things. Guess what I'm gonig to get rid of? Those self esteem issues that no longer fucking serve me. It's now my father's hang up, it's no longer mine.