My mother.
My mom rocks, there is no doubt about it. She used to ride a triumph in her younger day around Detroit. She raised me with out a penny from my father. She gave me everything my heart desired and more. She gave me everything she did not have herself as a child. The most precious gift she gave me is her unconditional love.
If you think her birthcontrol advice was hilarious, let me tell you something even more funny.
My mom works in a gay bar, every one loves her because she is a warm & generous person. One day this guy walks in from off of the beach, he is only wearing a thong. He asks the bar tender if he can eat in the restaurant this way. The bartender say "no, it's against health regulations". So, right there in the door way, the guy takes off his thong and puts on some shorts. My mom comes out from the kitchen and the bartender says:
Bartender: Violet! You missed it!
My mom: What?
thong man: "this!"
To when my mom turns around to look at him, he is standing there naked. But she notices there is something around the man's dick. She squints and looks a little closer.
Pointing she says "What's that?"
Bartender: That's a cock ring
My mom: a cock ring? What's that for?
Bartender: it's to keep your dick hard.
My mom: Really? In my house we call that my mouth.
