A twist on horoscopes.......
I am a 
Libra. 
(Also known as "Scales") 
My 
Horroscope starts like this: 
"
 You have to be a real loser to be born a Libra. Libras are born with two left hands, both of which grow out of their ass. They are tone-deaf and generally have poor eyesight. The senses of self-esteem and humor are in embryotic states at best. " (
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