Bartender another round.....

Oh no you don't slappy!

2011-08-26T13:21:00.000-07:00

I get a phone call from Kerri yesterday and it went in to voice mail. The ring tone for my phone calls on my new phone sucks hot sweaty balls and I can't hear it most of the time. What I do hear is the little bell telling me I missed a call. I immediatly call her back and she does not pick up. I then listen to the voice mail she left and try to call her again. She still does not pick up and I leave a message. She wanted to get together so I can meet her newest fling; I had to work so I told her in the message it would have to be another night.
Later on while I'm at work I get another message from her asking "why hadn't I called back, that is not like me".
Oh no you just didn't bitch.
First off while you were leaving me the first message your phone should have beeped to let you know a call was coming in. Second it should show you that not only do you have two missed calls from me you have a voice mail. So I don't know where the fuck you are getting off saying I didn't leave a message. Shit I called you back so damn quickly I know the fucking phone was probably in your hand!
I left her a semi nasty message pointing this shit out. I'm not in to playing games and I don't know what the fuck you are up to, but I want no part of it. Fucking fly straight or you will lose the last friend you have.

Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiit

2011-08-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

I had been trying to distance myself from an old friend lately, her life has become a train wreak and I can't watch it any more.
I recieved a text last week from her telling me that she is renting a room in one of the condos by my house here in the village.
WHAT.THE.FUCK?!
Sure enough, she came over yesterday for a visit; I can throw a rock from my back yard and hit her place with it.
She reeked of alcohol and claimed she earned to "tie one on" after having to move four times in three months and helping her boyfriend move in to his place. She of course wanted us to sit down and have some cocktails. Luckily all I had was one glass worth of wine left, not that I'd drink any way. I had to take Pudd'n to my mom's later and I sure as hell don't drink & drive.
We had a nice visit, but it was hard to remember the vibrant, beautiful girl was in this shell of a person I used to know. I don't know what flipped the switch for her to pick up drinking and throw everything away. We'll see how things go. I don't mind her coming over for a visit now & then, but if she thinks I'm going to get rip roaring drunk with her all the time she's got another thing coming. I work two jobs (when the back behaves) and I have Pudd'n & a house to take care of. I'm not going down that slippery slope, I will ban your ass for good if you can't behave.

A week ago

2011-08-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

A week ago today I put my back out again; only this time dealing with Pudd'n. He's as tall as me now and weighs almost as much. I forget he's not a toddler any more and I can't be pushing myself. At least this time when I go to P/T I won't spend the entire time crying because it hurts so bad. The poor therapist is one of those guys that get weirded out when women cry. I wasn't bawling, I just had tears running down my cheeks non stop. He would akwardly pat me on my shoulder. My massage therapist took one look at me and gave me a big hug. He said to me "Maeve, you are not broken. You are just stuck". Hearing that gave me the big sobbing tears. I'm just so tired of always being in pain; this whole summer has sucked hot sweaty balls because I haven't been able to do jack shit. I've missed a lot of work at the house of the fucking hat and I no longer have a pay check coming in since school is out. I will not get a full paycheck from them until NOVEMBER. My back had better get better because I need to be wearing that fucking hat and bringing in tips.
I just want to be whole again.
Mind, body and spirit.

Pain, pain go away!

2011-08-16T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm really over this back issue! Sweet Zombie Jesus I've had enough! I'm going to pick up a yoga DVD for back pain. And because I refuse to let this shit drag me down any more I am planning on painting the living room & Pudd'ns room.
So I'm off to run errands and get my not so little man from grandma land.
I'm also slowly getting my blog roll back.
Later peeps.

Time flys

2011-08-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

Damn, has it really been eight months since I posted? Guess so. Nothing blog worthy has been going on and I spend most of my time on FB now.
I'm having a shitty ass summer so far, my back keeps going out on me. I've taken Pudd'n to the beach a total of three days. It used to be we'd be there every day and I'm not exaggerating! We've been to Linda's pool mostly which is fine. I actually prefer it over the beach. But now her schedule is back to normal and she does not need me to house sit. And here I sit with a heating pad on my back and will be switching to ice soon. Ugh.
I have not achieved any of my goals this summer and I am disgusted and disheartened. I really wanted to go back to school with a lot less fat on my body and a back that doesn't kink up on me after sitting for a short period of time.
Can I have some cheese to go with my whine?

WTF???

2011-01-09T14:06:00.001-08:00

Where the hell did my blog roll go???!!!
Fuck'n blog lines!
Ugh!
No clue as to how to fix this shit.
So far the New Year has been good. We've been cleaning out the closets, garage and everything in between getting rid of stuff that no longer serves us. Next up is to paint Pudd'ns room and the living room. I wish we had the room and could afford a new couch. The big warehouse club has a nice one for a good price. I bought some more roses, where the hell I'll put them is any one's guess. Time to rearrange things in the garden.
Pudd'n got a hair cut today and he was an absolute angel. So much nicer than the days where I'd have to put him in a head lock.

A stressful week comes to an end

2010-12-11T20:33:00.000-08:00

This has been a very stressful week. Steve has been on call AND working the grave yard shift. I've also had shit going on with Puddn's teacher and me wanting to punch her face in.
I don't look good in orange, so I'll refrain from my baser instincts.
Last night I got a massage and a nice big bottle of Crown.
Cathy stopped by after work and we had a few cocktails and a lot of laughs.
Today found us over the Mt. at Lili's place to meet up with the other witches. Steve and I did some retail therapy and then headed over to Lili's for food & fun.
It too was a great time and it was just what I needed.
This is the last week of school before Christmas vacation and I can't wait for it to get here!

Fucking Cat.

2010-11-22T07:52:00.001-08:00

So Athena comes over last night so we can whip up a jar of whop ass and throw a few cards. We also ate until we burst and enjoyed adult beverages in our sippy cups. As you can see from the picture Satan's Little Helper was no help when it came to us wanting to do our cards. The party was definitly over when the damn cat rubbed up against a lit taper candle!!! The room smelled of singed hair and the cat didn't smell any better.
That is the main reason I usually never burn tapers in the house. I know the damn cat will knock one over or set him self on fire some how.
Fucking cat.
Oh well, we got everything done we wanted to and had a great time.

Liars

2010-11-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

Liar, liar, pants on fire. Karma is going to get you.
Don't EVER lie to me or about me.
It will not end well.

All Hallows Eve

2010-11-11T15:25:00.000-08:00

Better late than never right? Here is this year's alter for Halloween. We had lots of teenagers this year. It was a fun night as usual and we really enjoyed the kids.

No rest for the wicked.

2010-10-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

I'm restless.
There is so much to do and I have no clue as to where to start. My back is threatening to go out on me and this pisses me off to no living end.
I feel like a big zit that is ready to explode.
I need some peace of mind in the worst way right now.

Only in the 'hood.

2010-10-26T18:11:00.000-07:00

Are we at a petting zoo? Fall festivale?
Nope.
Garage sale here in the 'hood.
My rat bastard hubby would not let me buy a few of these beauties. He is missing out on some fresh eggs!

Getting back on the horse.

2010-10-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

Damn, has it almost been a month since my last post? Guess it has. I had a great birthday party last month. Lots of good food & great friends. I'm looking forward to Halloween. I'm not sure how many will show up to eat, drink and pass out candy. I'm thinking about painting my face to look like a skull and then put my witches hat on. But I know me and I'll be touching/itiching my face all night screwing up the make up.
I'll be having a candle party next month and it will be interesting to see who shows up for that one. I invited a lot of the girls from the house of the fucking hat. I'm old enough to be most of their mothers. But I can still drink them under the table.
Today I go in to see if this infection in what is left of an old root canal is gone. If it is not, then it is a hair line fracture for sure that is causing this problem and they will have to dig everything out and put in a dental implant.
Yippy skippy.

Nice try slick...........

2010-09-27T21:03:00.000-07:00

The tradition at the house of the fucking hat is if you work on your birthday the announcer gets the whole resturant to sing happy birthday to you.
And some one makes a covert move to splat whipped cream in your face.
I had hoped to skip this tradition tonight when I went in to work; I didn't want to accidentally give some one a black eye.
And I'm the oldest person there, you have to respect your elders right??
Jon & Matt thought they'd be all slick but they fell far from the mark. Trey got the resturant to sing to me, Jon stood next to me (with his hands behind his back) and Matt tried to act like he was getting whipped cream from the fountain. He was being WAY too obvious about it so I knew it had to be some one standing closer to me. Just as the song ended Jon's hand came up and I blocked it sending whipped cream all over table 34. Thank all that is holy there were no customers sitting on that side of the booth. I only got a little whipped cream on my eye and on the fucking hat. I then proceeded to mad dog those two bone heads for the rest of my shift and when they were not looking I'd sneak up and pinch them.
Hard.

Sweet Zombie Jesus..........

2010-09-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

It is going to be 95 tomorrow.
Are you fucking kidding me??!!!???
There is a good reason I don't live in the south. Hell, I can barely fucking handle it here.
I DON'T DO HEAT.

Three more days.........

2010-09-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

In three more days I turn 44.
WTF???
When did this happen???
In other non related news; I think the Chupacabra is running loose here in the 'hood.

Thanks for the ear worm Laura

2010-09-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

I've got the "chickaboom" song and this picture running like a hamster on a wheel all day in my head.
I'm actually looking forward to going to work at the house of the fucking hat just so THAT noise will drowned out the voices in my head.

Too many levels of wrong.......

2010-09-15T22:32:00.000-07:00

At the house of the fucking hat where I work at night there are actually some students that work there that also attend the high school where I work during the day.
Taylor is one of those kids.
It is always fun to see him and harass him in the halls.
Tonight while working I needed assistance for yet another birthday song so I use my best "mom" voice to get Taylor's attention so he can help me out.

Taylor: don't talk like you are my mom.
Me: I AM old enough to be your mother and I'll use the damn "mom" voice if I want to.
Taylor: Oh yeah? Well in two months I'll be old enough to be your husband.
Me: ???WTF???? EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

He knew this would cheese me out; the little fucker. I'm all "sorry dude, I'm not that kind of teacher".

FML

2010-09-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

Or should the title say "How we made every one at NB shoe store glad they have a regular ed kid." Yesterday we took Pudd'n shoe shopping even though we just got him shoes six months ago. The kid is growing like a weed and I wanted to make sure he had proper shoes.
Shoe shopping has never been easy, he's always hated it; but yesterday he took it to a new level.
He got very violent in the store.
If he wasn't yelling & hitting his head he was hitting my back (as I was trying to get his shoe on & off) or hitting Steve in the head.
The sales girl was great. She got us in & out with in five minutes.
Five of the longest minutes of my life (and I'm sure every one else in the store).
I left the store in tears and cried most of the way home.
When we got home I discovered that GP got all pissy we didn't take him with us and got up on the kitchen counter. He ate a 9 x 13 dish of roasted tomatoes, onions and garlic I had cooling up there. Last night we had to lock Satan's Little Helper in Pudd'ns room and leave the sliding door open so GP could get out so he could squirt liquid out of his ass. I wasn't in the mood to wake up to piles of oooy gooy dog shit in my living room.
Tomorrow school starts and I'm actually looking forward to it.

where did the summer go?

2010-09-04T07:26:00.000-07:00

It is Sept already? Holy Cow!
It has been a weird summer; we've barely made it to the beach!
We haven't had a summer so to speak of. It has been mostly cool & over cast. Which is really fine by me.
I've been dealing with a lot of health issues too. Trying to get shit squared away before the school season starts.
I'm looking forward to the routine of school again. But not looking forward to having to make lunches every damn day and trying to get Pudd'n dressed, fed and out the door. The bus will be picking him up at 6:50 am now.
Ugh!

GOATS! I LOVE ME SOME GOATS!!!

2010-08-10T07:42:00.001-07:00

The morning I was scheduled to leave for my beloved MI we went to the fair. We had a great time. Pudd'n enjoyed all the rides and he indulged in my love for goats. The baby goat in this picture was born just that morning. It was big enough to fit in my back pack; but my stick in the mud husband made me put it back.

No firemen were molested while taking these photos.

2010-08-05T13:47:00.000-07:00

Ok, so no firemen were physically molested. In my mind's eye I was doing some very nasty things to them. Although I think I did visibly drool at one point. Where did I get to ogle firemen? My brother in law is one at SAFB. So of course my sister had to take me there to see where the hub worked. Sadly there was no pole for me to slide down and I wasn't allowed in where they slept. The fire trucks were awesome! I would have loved to taken one for a joy ride; but again, I wasn't in the mood for a body cavity search upon arrest.

Meet the "Butter Bitch"

2010-08-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

Me in front of Mr. Hottie goal tender's house.

On my first day home my evil auntie took me pub crawling down town. In one of the local shops we spied "the butter girl". It is supposed to be used to butter your corn with out a mess. Well as you can see by the color & shape of it; we thought it looked like something you could get in a sex shop. Only instead of it being filled with butter, it is a battery operated pleasure device.

We of course had to buy them and make rude comments about them over drinks. Then I got the bright idea of taking my butter bitch to one of my favorite goalies that lives a short distance from my evil auntie. I could knock on his door and ask him if I could butter his corn cob! We cackled over the idea as we toasted to our brilliance. My poor uncle just rolled his eyes at us and muttered under his breath that my flight departure wasn't soon enough for him when we stumbled home and told him of our idea.

On my last day there we figured we'd "take the dogs for a walk" past said goalie's house. We snapped off a few pics and then high tailed it out of there. I was not in the mood for a cavity search if we had gotten arrested for stalking.

A blessed Lughnasadh to you all.........

2010-08-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

I need a vacation from my vacation. Holy shit did I ever have a good time. Nothing caught on fire, but we did make it to a strip club one night.
My liver is crying for mercy.

Two more days

2010-07-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

Two more days before I'm unleashed upon my beloved MI. I still have so much to do and I'm putting it off until last minute. It looks like this year's party might be a bit smaller. No problem. We are still going to have a blast.
I guess I'd better get up off my ass & do some shit.

I'm so excited I'm ready to piss myself.

2010-07-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

Soon.
Soon I will be home in my beloved MI.
Soon I will be amongst family and friends that are family.
My friend Jo offered up her home for the BBQ/Pot luck. I told her this year we wouldn't set anything on fire. But if we do, my awesome BIL that is a fireman will be there. He promised to pack for it and be prepared this year.
I asked him to pack some of his buddies too so I can get me some eye candy. I don't want to be making lusty eyes at my BIL even though he IS Irish.

Ommmmmmmmm Ommmmmmmmmm

2010-07-08T05:51:00.000-07:00

Time to go to a happy spot. So I'll look at the roses in my garden. Although I'm kind of stressed that I may have cut this bush back too far. Ugh.
Any way, these are my black magic roses after the rain.
We have been having some really freaky weather out here. It NEVER rains in July, hell at all out here in the summer. We'll end up with the heat wave in Aug/Sept.
Today I am getting a massage and boy do I ever need it. My stress levels have been off the chart between wondering if my gut was right about the bus driver, my trip home, getting all my yearly Dr. appointments done, vet appointments out of the way and just every day crap.
Happy spot, happy spot, happy spot................................
I think I'll go put on the season premire of True Bl00d. THAT always makes me happy.

A mother's intuition is ALWAYS right.

2010-07-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

Pudd'n started high school this summer. We were a bit nervous but really like the program & his teachers.
I hate his bus driver.
Thank all that is holy that this is just a temp driver and we won't have her in the fall. First impressions are huge with me and hers alerted my mommy radar.
I closely watched Puddn's body language and manner on the way to the bus to further my suspicions. We have to walk out to the main road in the 'hood since the driver has one of those huge ass busses that you can't get in & out of our cul de sac. I bring the goat puppy with us because that is one of his services; keeping Pudd'n calm. Well this bitch bus driver starts pictching a fit that I brought the dog on the bus. GP didn't have his vest on and I told her that it was a service dog and yes he was allowed on the bus.
Then bitch bus driver tells me she wants Pudd'n to sit up front because she can't get him off the bus. I ask all the teachers & aides seperatly and at different times if this is true.
It is not.
So B.B. not only hates dogs (she'd give GP the stink eye), she is a fucking liar.
Now since she is insisting that all the children sit up front as I get Pudd'n on the bus yesterday GP sticks his nose by Rick ( a fellow student). Rick does not like this and tells GP "no dog!".
So of course when I get home there is a phone call from transportation.
Shocker.
I inform the supervisor that GP is a service dog, he has a tag and a leash that states it. I also inform her that service dogs do not have to wear a vest at all times as long as you have some sort of other identification.
She asks if I would show the tag to the bus driver. I told her I would and I also let her know that her driver is a bald face liar.
So this morning the bus was 15 mins late (it was raining of course). I took GP's collar off to show the bitch the tag. Pudd'n asks to sit in the back of the bus. I tell him it is ok. Fuck it and her.
As I get off the bus I notice that it is not driving off. The driver gets up and goes back to my child.
Is she checking his seat belt? Probably not. I'm guessing she is saying something nasty to my kid. And speaking to teachers & staff today confirm my belief. I have a message in to the supervisor and I'll keep call that bitch until I talk to her personally.
I'll be driving Pudd'n the rest of the summer.

People never cease to amaze me...........

2010-07-06T07:29:00.000-07:00

I'm surprised that I've waited tables this long (25 yrs). It is easy money and the BS with people is minimal luckily. But I've had two tables in the past two weeks that have earned the title of self centered idiots.
Case in point #1.
I'm half way to the table ready to sing another damn birthday song when one of the members of the table gets up and tells me to wait. There is a member of the group in the bathroom that didn't want to miss this. Ok, then why the fuck didn't they go to the bathroom as soon as I took their order? Don't wait 10 min and then go because guess what? The ice cream comes up and what happens to ice cream when you tell me to wait?
It fucking melts.
Don't go bitching to my manager that your ice cream is all melted. You order a HOT FUDGE sundae! What part of HOT FUDGE don't you get that is going TO MELT ICE CREAM?!
And you told me to wait! Really? WTF do you expect????
Case in point #2.
Last night's table qualified as white trash in my opinion. Even though they were dressed in designer garb and hair coiffed nicely; the children were out of control. The mother starts bitching at me because precious' chicken tender was cold & hard. No? Really? Well maybe if your little princess actually sat the fuck down and ate her meal instead of goofing off do you think we'd have that problem? No, I didn't think so. I mean come on people, really?
And while we are at it please get your other child out from under the table and put some damn shoes on him. Speaking of the table. Thanks for the shit hole you left it in. I've had parties of 20 leave less of a mess than your party of five.

Yeah, I suck lately...............

2010-07-02T15:25:00.001-07:00

For the few that do come around here still.
Sorry I've been sucking at this. I just haven't had anything to blog about. So I will entertain you with something from U tube that is literally a home movie for me.http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D2Q2CKEAMo&feature=related

Oh the nasty things I'd do with this man.

2010-06-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

My most favorite show of all time is back on. When I saw this man half naked in one of the scenes I really wanted to find out who his momma was so I could thank her for creating something so fucking gorgeous. Now I normally don't care for blonde guys. I've always had a thing for dark haired men. But there is something about this guy that makes me want to rip off his clothes and become his Mrs. Robinson.
Thanks to my Evil Auntie I will be going home next month for a week. It is not long enough but since I can't afford to take Pudd'n that is all I am going. I'm already having an anxiety attack thinking about being away from him. Ugh.
Spaz & I will have another pool party/BBQ; only this time we won't set the BBQ on fire.

All I could do was laugh my ass off..........

2010-06-01T16:37:00.000-07:00

I took Pudd'n to get his hair cut today. When I do this first I give him a valium (yes, I am serious) and then while he sits in the chair I feed him copious amounts of st*rburst candies. Yeah, I know defeats the purpose of trying to relax the kid; jack him up on sugar.
Any way we made it almost through the hair cut with out a problem (for once) when he all of sudden moves his head.
Ray is standing there horrified that there is now this "slash" mark on my kids head.
I'm laughing my ass off.
What else am I to do? This poor girl has her hands full when cutting my kids' hair and the fact that this is the first time its happened in six years? Who gives a fuck? She did her best to blend the hair all the while I'm still laughing.
It was a nice icing on the cake for a day from hell.
While I was in the shower trying to rinse off my hair dye the smoke alarm goes off.
WTF?!?!
As I furiously try to get the dye off I start doing a mental check:
Any candles burning? No
Anything in the oven? No
Is the crock pot on? No
I come flying out of the shower soaking wet to find that my house is safe & sound. I grab a wooden spoon to try & knock off the alarm from the ceiling. That isn't working so I got the dining room chair and stand on it and pry the fucker off the ceiling.
I'm soaking wet & stark naked.
Oh joy! It is going to be a good day!

Light a candle and say a prayer for those that have served and are currently serving.

2010-05-31T10:18:00.000-07:00

Remember to stop and think about why we have a holiday. Memorial Day is to honor the men and women of our military. Thank every service member you see and hold those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom, always in your hearts. Thank you to all my friends and family who have served our great nation! You make me proud to be an American!!!

What Is A Veteran?
A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve -- is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including my life.'
That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country today, who no longer understand that fact..

My vacation spot.

2010-05-29T07:29:00.001-07:00

Linda is out of town and THIS is where I'll be all weekend.

At her house.

The girls are coming down for some pool side fun with me today. I had a blast with Pudd'n yesterday playing in the water. I was exhausted by the end of the day and he was still ready to run about the house.

Ya'll have a good week end and remember what it is about. Put up your American flag to show your pride and thank a service member.

SCORE!!!

2010-05-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

Last night at work when I was standing up by the host stand a gentlman came in with a shirt that had the logo of our local shooting range embroidered upon it.
I remarked how much I loved going there. It was a perfect date night for me & the hub to go to.
The gentleman then whips out a business card and upon it it says "one free lane rental".
Guess what we'll be doing soon?
Oh hell YEAH!

Deeeeeeeep Breathes

2010-05-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

Ugh, a bunch of "little" problems are adding up to give me one big stress headache.
If I wasn't working tonight I'd be mixing myself a stiff one right now. But since I am, I can't.
Fuck!
What is it that is bothering me?
Just stupid mundane shit piling up. Little annoyances that are really bugging me.
Everything will work out fine.
I know it will.
Shit better!

I got yer fucking hat right here part deux............

2010-05-22T22:58:00.001-07:00

I was bored last night.
Too bad you really can't make out the rose in my hair. It is from my garden. They are called black magic roses and the darkest rose you can get. So dark they blend in with my hair.

Hawt men on horse back

2010-05-13T06:02:00.001-07:00

The local dinner & tournament show had a two for one ticket price. Cathy had never had the pleasure of going; so when I heard about the special I snagged us some tickets. We had a blast and I spent the entire night all tingly in my naughty bits. For me there is nothing hotter than a man on a gorgeous horse. I love me some Fresians; to look at. Riding them is another story. They are nuttier than a fruit cake and I don't bounce back like I used to if my sorry ass gets thrown. My true love are the Andalusian horses. This place was filled with them and I'm so glad no one was sitting on my right because the noises I was making? I'm sure some one would have thought I was pleasuring myself in the middle of the show.
The food was good but the price of two beers sent us in to cardiac arrest. No wonder we pack flasks!

I need a massage!

2010-05-11T15:30:00.001-07:00

Holy cow do I need a serious massage right about now. My neck is jacked up and my back a huge knot.
On a happy note, I used up the last of my home improvement gift cards and will be having my very first vegetable garden. We had to finally get rid of Pudd'ns swing set and now have the room to have a garden. I also picked up several plants that are supposed to attrack humming birds & butterflies. So far I've gotten two butterflies & no hummers. I know they are in the neighborhood. I hear them and I've seen them about.
I hope every one had a nice mother's day. Steve made me breakfast and then I went to work. I had put corned beef in the crock pot and damn did it turn out GOOD.

When it rains, it pours

2010-05-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

So I finally drag my carcass to the doctor's office. I have a sneaking suspicion my acid reflux is back. Not only is it back, it is back with a vengeance.
I have an ulcer on my larynx from my acid reflux.
Fuuuuuuuuuck!
Then I go to my dermatologist for him to check out something.
That something turns out to be a pre cancerous spot on my chest.
Well fuck me running.
So we are going to see if we can treat it topically to make it go away. If not, we hack it out. I told Dr. K we weren't hacking shit out until the first week of June. Linda is going away memorial weekend and I plan on spending every damn day in the pool having fun with my kid.
The ~~witches~~ girls will be joining me at Linda's for fun in the sun. I can't wait. It is going to be a damn good time.

Exhausted

2010-05-03T07:37:00.001-07:00

I don't know WTF is up with Pudd'n but sleeping is not high on his list of priorities. He did not get to sleep until 5am today.
It is a school day.
He's screwed.
What does he do all night? Watch his videos and yes I tried putting him to bed. For 45 min I had to listen to him hum, moan and grunt (his bed is next to ours in our room). And needless to say when he is in his room watching tv we can still hear him humming, moaning and grunting.
I just fucking love autism.

Rotten little brats

2010-04-29T17:10:00.001-07:00

As I'm sitting down and relaxing after doing dinner & dishes I hear some kids laughing and I see a body running by my patio window.
WTF?!?!
Apparently three jr. thugs thought it would be funny to jump my back fence, run through my yard and out through the front gate.
What Jr. thugs didn't know was that the front gate was locked on the out side.
They were trapped and now in my clutches.
Of course none of their parents were home to come get them and one didn't speak English.
Yeah right.
And I was a virgin on my wedding day.
I told them that they'd better cough up with a phone number of an adult that could get them or I was calling the police to have them taken to jail.
One jr. thug started to cry.
I finally got some adults to come and get the little fuckers. The one that was crying, boy was his mom pissed he did something so stupid. The other two tried to play it off, being the tough jr. thugs and all. A few of their friends showed up to start laughing at them for being stupid & getting caught. One friend of jr. thugs even said I should have shot them. I told him I didn't want to waste good ammo. Too expensive.
Damn, I should have called the cops. We've got some good looking ones that patroll the 'hood here. I could have gotten me some eye candy all up close and personal.

Hello my name is Maeve and I'm a candle addict.......

2010-04-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not in to buying clothes, shoes or purses. My weakness is Party_Lyte candles. Lots and lots of them. Not all this is mine mind you; but a good portion is. I had an awesome candle party and scored $500 in free wax thanks to double hostess credit month.
I'm already plotting when I can have my next party to load up on my fix.
*shivers with delight*

Almost Beltane.........

2010-04-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

Whoop! Beltane is almost here! Time to ~~ride~~ dance around the May Pole!!!
The strike is going on and it is not breaking Puddn's heart any not to go to school. For me it is very surreal. We had only eight kids in class and the school feels tomb like.
I'd say I'm finally about 98% over this crap I've had for close to a month. My throat still kind of bugs me; but not as bad as it had been. I tried to nap today when I came home. Kind of hard with an almost 14 yr old bouncing on the bed while you try to sleep, the UPS man showing up and every body calling you. Ugh.
No rest for the wicked that is for sure.

Freaky Friday

2010-04-23T23:07:00.000-07:00

Well the strike is still going on. Looks like it will still be going on come Monday too.
Just fucking lovely.
I've had no problems crossing the picket line. Every one knows I'm "classified" staff and not under union. Although I did have to drive a teacher that did cross the picket line home one day. We had to take some one lane back drive way from the school. I got to drive Black Betty (my new van) across the baseball field to get to this road.
It was cool.
I had to resist the urge to do donuts in the soft grass.
I'm starting to feel better finally. I'm no longer coughing up a lung or chunky green shit. It is nice to be able to breathe too.
Work was crazy busy as usual. It is time for me to drag my carcass to the couch and watch my taped hockey game.
Go Wings!

Lots O stuff

2010-04-21T07:01:00.000-07:00

Well I'm fianlly feeling better. I really wanted to work out today but since I work tonight I don't want to push it.
It looks like there will be a teacher strike tomorrow if the cock suckers on the board do not pull their heads out of their asses. I will have to cross the picket line or lose my job. I'm not union and only part time. They can replace my ass in a New York minute. Pudd'n will not be going to school with the strike. Not only do I not know who I'll be working with, but have no idea who will be teaching Pudd'n. Not because his teacher will be striking; but because he will end up with a sub or they will load up his room with other students. Also I don't need him getting scared at seeing all the picketers out front yelling & waving signs. He won't understand what is going on.
Fun times folks. Fun times.

Just lovely

2010-04-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

I thought I was getting better and it turns out I'm not.
Yesterday my throat started hurting again and I thought I was going to cough up a lung. I went to the clinic and they said I have an upper resperatory infection.
Just fucking lovely.

Bad Blogger

2010-04-11T21:25:00.000-07:00

Wow, has it really been over a week since I've posted? Wish I could say I was doing something uber fantastic like finding the cure for autism; but in reality I've been sicker than a dog.
I didn't let that stop me for a fantastic trip up to LA on wed. We hit up Pink's, Roscoe's, High_voltage tattoo AND a sex shop. Steve was designated driver for me, Cathy, Jane and her husband. Cathy was just as sick as I was so we packed a cooler full of medicinal adult beverages to chase our colds away. By the time we hit the sex shop we were pretty well lit and were giggling like idiots at all the fist dildo, costco sized lube and make your own dildo kits.
Yesterday I had a candle party and that was a blast too. It was great to see the girls and to play with Dru's baby.
Now it is back to reality and terrorizing teenagers at my day job.

The house of the Fucking Hat.

2010-03-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

It never ceases to amaze me. I hear people at work bitch all the time they don't get enough hours at the H.O.T.F.H and yet if any one calls them to pick up a shift they don't do it. Or they are always trying to give up the shifts they do have.
I picked up a shift this Sat am. I'm not crazy about having to give up one of my days off; but with a car payment now I need to.
The St. Patty's day party went well even with the Fucking Moron getting blind stinking drunk. I just warned those who have not had the misfortune of meeting him previously on how wasted he was going to get. I will give him this much. When his daughter Lisa & her boyfriend Millhouse dragged his ass out of here he did shake every one's hand good bye and said it was a pleasure to meet them.
Sadly he could not remember any one's name and at that point one of my co workers gave him a fake name.
We were rolling with laughter over that one. So much so the next day I was able to have Steve whip out the label maker and make Annie a new name tag that would read "Jane". Then Annie & I had fun waiting to see how long it would take our coworkers a the H.O.T.F.H. to notice the name change.
Yeah, simple minds. Simple pleasures.

SHIT

2010-03-15T22:59:00.000-07:00

My small dinner party for St. Patty's day has mushroomed. Lisa wanted to come help me cook and I said sure. She enjoys cooking & baking and I could use the help. I now have found out her father the fucking moron and her brother Bart will be coming too.
Hopefully I won't be hitting the whiskey early and will be able to save enough for the soup.
Fuck.

Happiness is.............

2010-03-13T06:47:00.000-08:00

A purring cat in your lap............

Jesus loves you. Every one else thinks you are an Asshole.

2010-03-10T05:34:00.000-08:00

Not only am I going to get a voice recording of Steve telling me that I am right over our latest spat in our marital bliss; I am going to get it written in blood and go to a day spa.
Or anything else equally exspensive because the fucker owes me for being such an Asshole.

What a weekend

2010-03-08T14:47:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of the only bright spot of my weekend. I got to be Goddess mother to Dru's baby. This picture does not do justice to how beautiful the christening gown is.
When I got home from this event who should I ~~smell~~ see?
Fucking Moron and he is so drunk I can smell the booze wafting off of him.
Steve insisted that he drive FM home and I followed in our car. Oh! and not only was he drunk but covered in blood too. His mutts are in heat and started fighting. He recieved a nasty bite on his arm & wrist trying to break it up.
Fun time folks, fun times.

Laughter is the best medicine

2010-03-04T06:30:00.000-08:00

It turns out one of the girls I work with lives in the 'hood here with me. She & Cathy came by last night for drinks & laughs.
Holy cow did we laugh.
Tears were streaming down our face and I almost peed myself at one point.
It was just what I needed.

Blah

2010-03-01T22:32:00.000-08:00

I was looking forward to going to work tonight to help keep my mind off what it is going to cost to fix the van.
I was feeling better until a group of special needs kids came in for ice cream. It was apparent the kids lived in a group home. They had a really good time and got a kick out of the Zoo that was devlievered to the table.
Even though the kids were happy and well taken care of it depressed the hell out of me even more.
Why?
Because my own son will probably have to live in one of those homes when he gets older and I'm dead.
Who is going to love my son when I'm dead?

Shitty weekend

2010-02-28T20:04:00.000-08:00

The transmission in the van went out.
No warning what so ever there was a problem. The cost to fix it is fucking ridiculous and we can't afford a new vehicle.
The new dishwasher is in.
But it is now leaking from the garbage disposale.
Pudd'n is not eating and climbing the walls with the damn full moon.
My face is breaking out again.
I'm 43 fucking years old. I should not be having acne.
I hope this week is better. I'm getting pretty damn depressed.

I WANT!!!!

2010-02-26T17:19:00.000-08:00

If I had my way I would own this many Aussie dogs. I'd also have a heard of Goldens, horses and goats.

No cats.

One minion of the anti Christ is enough.

Truly no rest for the wicked.........

2010-02-17T06:22:00.001-08:00

Feb. is a lean month for us with my paycheck from the school district so I pick up extra shifts at the parlour shop. That leaves me with less time for other things. Important things like ~~writing & reading blogs~~ cleaning my house. I can now write my name in the dust that covers the surfaces of my furniture.
Ugh.
We had a nice weekend for Steve's birthday. Roscoe's was FABULOUS and we can't wait to go again. We skipped the Scottish festival when we found out it would be $20 per person to get in and we would have seen all they had to offer in under ten minutes.
Yesterday just before I arrived to pick up Anthony from school he brought his go talk device to his teacher. He pressed the button that would say "I want" verbally and then HE said "Momma". Now if he'd do this more often life would be easier. Use the device kid, I want to know what the hell you want.
I will no longer be living in the dark ages any more. Tonight we go and pick out a dish washer.
Glory Hallelujah!

Say WHAT?!?

2010-02-11T21:52:00.001-08:00

Me: So who am I working with in the party room tonight?
Cathy:Uhhhhhhh
Me: Are you giving me Mr. eye candy? I promise I won't grab his ass.
Cathy: I'm sorry Maeve!!!
Me:???
Cathy: I had no other place to put him.....
Me: Bitch, you'd better not be talking about who I think your talking about!!!!
Cathy: I'm sorry!!!!
Me: Oh hell NO!!
Cathy: I'll buy you a bottle of Jack to make it up!
Me: Fuck the Jack! If I have to work with J in the party room your ass is buying me Irish Whiskey or some Crown Royal.
I want Costco sized bottle too! None of those small bottles bitch!

Four day weekend

2010-02-11T12:36:00.000-08:00

It is Steve's birthday this weekend I want to go do something fun. I'm having a bit of a sticker shock over the admission to get in to this place .
But to see men in kilts? I think it would be worth it.
And since I refuse to eat haggis, we'll probably eat here first .

I should have played the lotto

2010-02-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the smoothest day I ever had. Nothing went wrong, everything was golden.
Hell I even got a $100 tip on ONE table.
Now if every day could be like that.

I think this will cover it all...........

2010-02-02T06:23:00.001-08:00

Happy Groundhog's Day, Merry Candlemas, Splendid St. Brigid's Day, Blessed Imbolc, and Cheerful Tuesday to you! :)

Coodies

2010-02-01T11:48:00.000-08:00

All the hand washing & other things I did fell flat. I caught the damn bug that is going around.
Uggghhhhhhhh

I'm going to owe my husband a solid week's worth of blow jobs after today. Maybe even 2 wks worth.

2010-01-30T16:58:00.001-08:00

What wonderful thing has my husband done to earn this?
He's been at the VA hospital with my step father for the past seven hours with no end in sight.
My step father accidentally pulled out in front of some one and totaled his car. My mother does not drive and I don't know what the hell his son was doing that he couldn't drive his own father to the hospital; but Steve got the dirty job. I love my step father dearly. But the man never.shuts.the.fuck.up.
I mean never.
Pudd'n had gone to the zoo with his aide so that left me home all day to get oodles of shit done. What sort of exciting things did I accomplish?
I'm so glad you asked!
Dusted & organized my china hutch (and for those of you have been to my house you know that this is no small task)
Hand washed the mt. of dishes (dish washer is broke)
Cleaned out Pudd'ns closet
swiffered Pudd'ns floor & dusted
swept all the crap from the rains from my super sized patio
cleaned the cat box
picked up dog poop (including the big ass pile some fucktard let their dog take on my front lawn)
down loaded a bunch of pictures
added pics to digital picture frame
There is a whole bunch of other little menial things that I did too; but I won't bore you any more.
Your welcome.

What a fucking night!

2010-01-26T06:30:00.000-08:00

It is the universal law that Monday nights in the resturant business is slow.
Guess some people did not get that memo because not only were we under staffed; we were SLAMMED.
There was only two of us in the party room and we were snowed under. Of course my party of 18 all wanted separate checks too.
When all the insanity finally died down I spent more than an hour cleaning up my half of the party room. Tables were bussed, condiments filled, silver ware placed on tables and set up for 2 parties of ten and one party of 12. And to set up these parties I had to drag in three fucking large tables that were shoved on to the patio.
Amy, the other girl working with me was still serving her party of 27 while I did all this. I then moved on to side work to get the fuck out of there. I swear this is the only place I ever worked at where I do more clean up & side work than I do serving tables.
As I'm doing my side work one of the managers comes up to me and asks me to make sure I help clean the party room.
WHAT. THE. FUCK?
Apparently Amy is not only fucking stupid she is blind too. Do you think the half of the party room just magically cleaned & set up by its self?
I dragged the manager back to the party room and point out exactly all the fucking work I did.
Amy's side was some what cleaned but looked like a six year old did it. The manager then tells me "well if you see her just mention to her to make sure her half is set up properly".
Excuse me?
Now I'm PISSED. And a pissed Maeve with PMS is not a good thing to be around.
I remind the manager that it is HIS job to make sure the servers do their job; NOT MINE.
Amy was lucky I did not take the kitchen knife I was using to cut up lemons to stab her in her fucking eye. I know that bitch didn't do side work either.
Fucking cunt just made herself a bad enemy.

Doesn't my kid look THRILLED to be at the big D?

2010-01-24T13:58:00.000-08:00

We had gotten drastically reduced priced tickets to get in to the big D. The three of us got in for what we would have paid for one ticket.
When Pudd'n was a toddler we had annual passes and I'd take him all the time. It has been a while since we were there and I was looking forward to spending the day with my men and getting some pralines from the "French Quarter" section of the big D. I also wanted to try and find some Cheshire cat earrings to wear when I work at the ice cream parlour.
Well Pudd'n had other ideas.
He wanted nothing to do with going to the big D. We got on this ride and the merry go round and that was it. Stick a fork in him my kid was done.
There is nothing like the sight of my kid throwing a tantrum. And the sounds that kid makes while he throws them?
No wonder I drink.

My baby

2010-01-21T20:15:00.001-08:00

Here is my Pudd'n @ 3 mths of age. This is one of my favorite photos, we are at my brother's football game. I'm down loading a bunch of pictures to the computer so I can re down load them in to a nifty digital photo frame I got for Yule. This sucker holds 3,500 photos.
I love family photos, every room in my house is filled with pictures of those I hold near & dear.
And now I can clear some space and down load every thing on to ONE picture frame.
This will give me more surface space for my addiction.
Candles.
I am a candle whore and proud of it.
We could have a power outage and you'd never know it because I have so many candles burning all the time.
I think it is time for me to have a candle party and resupply my stock.
Steve hide the check book.............

My four legged babies

2010-01-19T07:02:00.000-08:00

I'd rather be home today with my two and four legged kids. But I guess I'd better get to my day job where I ~~screw with~~ shape young minds.

Food coma

2010-01-18T06:29:00.001-08:00

We finally made use of a coupon at a local fish eatery. It was a steal that we could not pass up. For $50. we got:

A bucket of clams
Red fucking awesome chowder soup
Salad
18 Mesquite broiled shrimp
Mixed veggies
Brown rice
A bottle of wine
2 slices of mud pie
2 little loaves of freshed baked sour dough bread

It was so nice to actually sit down and dine as opposed to fast food drive through because that is all your child with autism will eat. The only bummer was that it was raining and we had to sit inside.
I hope they send out another coupon like this, we really had a nice time.

Steve got my pussy all wet.........

2010-01-15T17:45:00.000-08:00

No you pervs.
He accidentally splashed Satan's Little Helper with water while he did the dishes.

TGIF

2010-01-15T16:57:00.000-08:00

I am SO ready for the weekend! Last night was insane at the ice cream parlor. Speaking of the parlor;I was going to make a stop at a local business on my way to work. Then I though "hmmm, maybe better not".
What was I stopping in for? I wanted to snap off a picture of a kit to send to Laura .
But if any one saw me in my parlor outfit and got offended, they could call in and I could get in trouble for not maintaining a "wholesome" image.
Yeah, that's an oxymoron. Me & "wholesome" just should NOT be used in the same sentence.

I spy with my witchey eye............

2010-01-13T15:02:00.001-08:00

UPDATE: I think this makes a better representation of North don't you?

I'm a dork.
I'll admit it freely.
I like to make mini alters where ever I travel and I use "every day" items to represent the four elements. You can use simple things. A rock for north, a feather for east, sea shell for west and a candle for south.
So imagine my fun as I rooted through my box of goodies from Laura looking for things to use for ritual or just to have in the coordinating spots in my house.
I've got a fish for west, a bird for east and a candle for south. North was a bit trickier, I figured the juicer would do. A juicer? Well my thinking is you are juicing an item that grew from the ground. Ta da! you've got north.
And there kiddies is your little witchy tip for the day.

COOOOL CRAP!

2010-01-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

Satan's Little Helper has declared the box and all its contents HIS because he can touch it.

SLH loves his new box to destroy. He's also eyeballing that monkey planning to make it his bitch.

Laura over at Fetch Me My Flying Monkeys decided to clean out her closets and give away cool crap to any one that left a comment at her place. Her darling dog Jack would pick the winner and the winner would get a big box of cool crap!
Turns out I am the first lucky ~~wiener~~ winner of this contest.

I got some pretty neat stuff! I needed a new set of measuring cups and I can never have enough candles or holders either. I'd like to say the cute wine cork & plaque will come in handy. But the way Steve & I drink wine a bottle is lucky to last an hour in my house. The nursing socks will go to my sister since that's what she's spending a small fortune on; to become a nurse.

So thanks again Laura! I love everything you bestowed upon me. If you too want a box of cool crap head on over to her place and leave the comment whore a nice comment.

Or naked Pictures of George Clooney.

Fuck me running.........or sleeping..........

2010-01-13T05:30:00.000-08:00

This is the 2nd time this week Pudd'n has woken up at 1:30 am.
WTF???
I thought this phase of autism was over with? Didn't I get enough of it for 7 years straight?
He's feeling better and finally ate something last night.
Steve had to work an over night shift and we are both the walking dead right now.
Brains, Braaains, BRAAAAINNNNNSSSSSZZZZZZZZZ..........

My poor baby......

2010-01-10T11:05:00.000-08:00

Is sick.
He seems to be doing better today. But yesterday? That poor kid could not stop puking and the gas he was letting loose? Holy shit it peeled the paint off the walls!
Pudd'n is asked for some food so we'll see how he does.
Yesterday I was able to squeak out to go to Dru's baby shower. Steve would text me with up dates on how Pudd'n was. The shower was really nice and holy cow all the food that was there!
I raided Dru's husband's liqour cabnet. That man has got some good scotch. Lucky for him since I was driving I only had one drink or I think he would have lost a bottle yesterday.
The baby's room is so damn cute!! And all the cute clothes! Dru better hurry up and squirt that kid out. I need a baby to sniff & cuddle.

Fucking cat...........

2010-01-08T15:36:00.001-08:00

See those magnets & pictures on my fridge?
Gone.
Well most have been moved to the other half of the fridge. I need to keep a "path" clear for when Satan's Little Helper decides he wants on top the fridge.
As I sit here and pet him I notice he's been up on the counters too (yeah right like I can keep the little fucker off of them). How do I know? He's got pollen from the vase of star gazers I have on my counter all over his fur.
He's lucky he's so damn cute or I'd have killed him a long time ago.

Belated birthday fun

2010-01-08T15:34:00.001-08:00

Finally got to use that AWESOME gift certifcate my friend Cathy gave me for my birthday over Christmas break.
I can't wait to go again. I heart 357's, they get me all tingly in my naughty bits.

Stolen............

2010-01-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

From my most favorite Old & Evil person

Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone
you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does
not start with a ‘4.’
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is
cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker.. Distance is your friend.
(Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber,
stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting,you should be communicating your
intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL’s Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from ‘Higher’ to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what is on HBO.
4. Ask ‘What is a gunfight?’
5. Request more funding from Congress with a ‘killer’ Power
Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine ”key’ Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry
executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets ’strategic’ and never deploy them
operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict
but close enough to have tax exemption.

( And I Love This Next One)

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines

Go Navy !

And the next… (You’ve got to
love the military, and God bless
them all.)

U.S. Navy Directive 16134
( Inappropriate T-Shirts )

The following directive was
issued by the commanding officer of
all naval installations in the Middle East .

(It was obviously directed at the Marines.)

To: All Commands Subject:
Inappropriate T-Shirts Ref: ComMidEast
For Inst 16134//24 K

All commanders promulgate upon receipt. The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East :

1. ‘Eat Pork or Die’ [both English and Arabic versions]
2. ‘Shrine Busters’ [Various.Show burning minarets or
bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some
with unit logos.]
3. ‘Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy’
[Both English and Arabic versions]
4. ‘Goat – it isn’t just for breakfast any more.’ [Both English
and Arabic versions]
5. ‘The road to Paradise begins with me.’ [Mostly Arabic
versions, but some in English. Some show sniper scope
cross-hairs.]
6. ‘Guns don’t kill people. I kill people.’ [Both Arabic and
English versions]
7. ‘Pork. The other white meat.’ [Arabic version]
8. ‘Infidel’ [English, Arabicb and other coalition force
languages.]

The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon
receipt of this directive. In addition, the following signs are
to be removed upon receipt of this message:

1. ‘Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range
at 0800 Daily.’
2. ‘Do we really need ’smart bombs’ to drop on these dumb
ba*tards?’

All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training
upon receipt.

Only at my house.

2010-01-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

Last night I cooked up some rabbit for Steve & his brother. No I didn't eat mr. fuzzy bunny. It squicked me out enough cooking the damn thing. I ate left over meatloaf.
We just finished dinner and I asked Steve to mix me a fresh drink. He filled my glass and set it on the table. Satan's Little Helper proceeds to jump up on the table and want some attention. The food is off the table so I figure I'll pet him. The damn cat then starts rubbing his head on my freshly FULL glass of whiskey.
The glass topples over and everything gets soaking wet. Including me.
I change my clothes and Nick leaves. I brought out some junk towels and put them on the carpet to soak up the whiskey & soda.
With out thinking, Steve flips the table cloth up to the top of the table forgetting there are lit candles on the table.
Six candles to be exact.
The table cloth went up like a roman candle.
My friend Cathy was over too and luckily she had the common sense to grab the wet towels off the floor and throw them on the flames.
Never a dull moment in my house folks......

Never piss off a witch...........

2009-12-31T08:22:00.001-08:00

We've got this kid at the ice cream parlour that no body likes. And I mean no body.
I do my best to be patient with this boy and remind myself I would want some to show some compassion if he were my kid. Treat those how you'd want to be treated right?
This boy is not of special needs, he's just a little fucking worm plain and simple.
If you are unfortunate enough to work the party room with this little shit as I was last night you too would be plotting to fix his skinny ass.
And I did just that.
J is famous for not pre bussing his tables or even helping clear big parties of his when they leave.
Hello ass hole! Get it cleaned faster get the table re sat even faster!
He tries to take the biggest parties that come in (we really don't have a set station in the party room because they are always jacking around tables) and he can't handle it.
I don't mind helping out any one that may need it but he practically has you work his tables and he keeps the tip.
I had the misfortune of having to split a party of 30 with the little fucker last night. He was all worried about how the tip would go and was being a pain in my ass. I finally snapped at him and told him "look, quit arguing with me. You take the party at that long table and I'll take the party at this long table. DO IT".
And because earlier in the evening he did not pre buss his tables, get his tables set up for ice cream parties AND help the bussers clean up said huge ass ice cream parties that were his tables I exacted some justice.
I asked the manager if she could have him clean the entire party room when we closed.
She said yes.
Sure the bus boys were helping him out some what. But the point was he actually had to work for a damn change. He's famous for disappearing when it comes to clean up.
I pray to all that is holy he is not working tonight.
I may have to snap him in two like a wish bone.

Vengance is MINE............

2009-12-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

My brother & his lovely wife got my son the above cool remote controlled Jeep. I plan on using it on Satan's Little Helper the next time he wakes my ass up at 3 am.
Vengance is MINE.
We had a great Christmas and ate way too much food of course. I figured out that I need a three week Christmas vacation instead of a two one. One week is spent getting ready for the holiday and the last two I can use for recovery.
Work at the ice cream parlour is the same. Say one thing and do another. They have me as a breaker TWO fucking nights out of three this week. I'm so fucking pissed. I know I shouldn't be right? I should not complain at least I have a job.
So far the Doctors can't figure out why I was having stomach problems. After a CT scan, biopsy and scope they don't see any ulcers or anything else for that matter.

Good neighbors

2009-12-24T19:22:00.000-08:00

Our door bell rang tonight and it was "my boyfriend's" daughter (70 plus year old neighbor that has a crush on me) has some fresh from the pot tamales.
Dear sweet jesus
They are the BEST things I've had in my mouth in a long time.
I want to weep they taste so good.

Feeling blue

2009-12-22T15:44:00.000-08:00

Well today's appointment didn't answer jack shit on what the hell is up with my stomach and its issues lately.
The camera showed no ulcers.
WTF?
They took a biopsy and shoud have results back in a week. Probably longer I'm guessing since the holidays are here.
I went in for a massage today and Mike really worked the knots out of my back. Jesus Christ on a cracker am I ever sore. I never really realize just how jacked up I am until I get a massage.

I WAS going to bitch about being up early.........

2009-12-21T05:31:00.000-08:00

And then I remembered the Winter Solstice today. So it looks like I'll be greating the first rays of the sun today. :)
Work has been its usualy crazy busy place and yet they have laid off a lot of people. They are weeding out the people that are just not working out and getting constant customer complaints. They have even fired a few due to theft.
Tomorrow I go in to have a scope jammed down my throat so they can check out my ulcers. In three months I have to go see my regular Doc again for an ultra sound on my left kidney. It appears I have an inch and a half cyst on it. I'm trying not to freak, but given my family's history with kidney problems............ugh.
Getting old sucks.
I'm looking forward to Christmas eve so I can carry on my husband's family tradition of an all fish dinner (he's Italian). This year I'm going to make some cippino for the first time.
I've got some rum balls marinating in the fridge too.
I can't wait.

Is it time for vacation yet?

2009-12-14T07:06:00.000-08:00

Whoot! Only one more week of school and then we are off for two weeks. I'm sure the ~~animals~~ darling children at the ~~zoo~~ school will be on their best behavior this week.
Yeah right, they are suffering from "short timers" too.
I only made two out of three parties this weekend. I ate too much with the girls and was in no mood to have to get dressed and do my hair & make up. So instead I just dropped off the food I made and the toys I bought for the toy drive and went home to lay around like a beached whale.

Pulling rank

2009-12-11T06:37:00.000-08:00

The C/T scan showed that I DO have an ulcer and some gastro issues as well. The soonest I can get in to see the specialist is on the 17th.
Last night I thought I'd be ok to go in to work. Soon as I put on my work pants (I've been wearing sweat pants lately) and apron the pain started flaring up.
Great.
I was going to suck it up. I need the money and just to get the hell out of the house.
I walk in to find that Cathy took my happy ass off of tonight's shift too.
HUH?
I tried to convince her I was all right; but the fact I was unconsciously rubbing my stomach did not help my cause.
She pulled rank and told me "I don't care if you are older than me. We are at work and you have to listen to me. GO HOME".
So she kicked me out of work. I alredy have tonight off to go to a party so I'm hoping by Monday I can start waiting tables again and not be in pain when I put regular clothes on.
I've got three holiday parties this weekend. Guess what I'll be drinking?
Water.

Alien...........

2009-12-09T06:13:00.000-08:00

Remember that old movie?
Remember the scene where they are all sitting around the table eating dinner and the baby monster comes ripping out of the guys stomach?
Yeah, well that is what my stomach feels like right now.
Blood test indicate that I probably don't have an ucler.
WTF?
So today I go in for a C/T scan of my abdomen. I get to drink a liter of some scary yellow shit before I go in too.
Good time folks, good times.

Just fucking lovely............

2009-12-07T16:18:00.000-08:00

Guess who probably has an ulcer?
The quacks down at the clinic were no help what so ever. I'm so thrilled to have to shell out money for my co pay and prescription that did jack shit.
Luckily I was able to get in to my regular doc this am. Had I not I would have trotted my fine Celtic ass to the ER the pain was that bad.
I still may end up there if the pain gets any worse.
They took blood to check my pancreas and wed I go in for an ultra sound on my gallbladder.
Fun times folks.
So they upped my aciphex; gave me darvocite (should of asked for vicodin) and we wait for results.

Breaking my heart

2009-12-05T14:17:00.000-08:00

The fucking scum bags down the street have either:
A) bred their pit bull
or
B) because they let her run around the neighborhood she got knocked up.

We noticed her this morning as she wandered the street. Her teats were heavy from nursing puppies. I never thought it possible for this poor dog to look any more pitiful but she does.
And yes, we've called animal control on these fucktard numerous times over the years to no avail.

Getting their shit in one sock.........

2009-12-03T06:37:00.000-08:00

And things change yet again at the land of loud noises and sundaes.
They finally got a shirt that would fit over my weapons of mass distruction (the girls) and I now no longer stick out like a sore thumb. I bet you want a picture of me in that now too eh?
The shifts used to start at 3:45 which was a no can do for me. Now shifts are starting at 5pm so hopefully next week I will get decent shifts. Last night I was food runner. Everyone has to be one so it is no big deal. I just smiled delievered food, desserts and stocked shit when it was needed. I work with a lot of teens/early 20's that are too damn lazy to make sure things get stocked. Then you waste time trying to get shit when you are completely out. And then when they do get something it is not enough and you are back to running in the stock room to get more.
Oh well, I have a job and that is all that matters.

A PSA.............

2009-12-01T16:34:00.000-08:00

To the sister fucking, pencil dicked, sperm slurping fucking assholes playing road rage today on the 5 frwy.
Is your dick really that small that you have to terrorize other drivers because you are so self centered? Did it make you feel like a big man to cut me off and almost cause an accident?
I hope your dick stays limp for the rest of your lives you inconsiderate fucktards.

As I was exiting the frwy today I was almost in an accident if you can't gather that from the paragraph above.
The exit I take to go home has two lanes. If you are in the left lane you are turning left and if you're in the right hand lane.......well you're turning right.
I'm in the left lane minding my own business when all of a sudden from the shoulder of the road a big black pick up truck passes me on my left.
Mr. tiny dicked douche bag then cuts in front of me causing me to slam on my brakes. He coasts over to the right hand lane and waits for Mr. tiny dick douche bag #2 and they proceed their damn game of road rage with each other.
Scared the ever living shit out of me.
I wish to all that is holy that I could have gotten a license plate number.
I would have had the cops all over you like white on rice.

Ring tones

2009-11-30T15:24:00.000-08:00

I finally got a "big girl phone" (touch phone with full key pad). Now for those of you that know me, I'm pretty rough on my phones. We always save our old ones when we renew our membership and up grade because my phone always ends up missing or dropped in the ocean.
This time we are paying for the insurance on the new phone (I can get two replacement ones in a year!). So I was having fun down loading ring tones to certain people and I really, really wanted to get Puddle_0f_Mud's song "She hates me" for Steve's ring tone.
Long inside joke there.
With my luck I'd find it, down load it and then forget to put my phone on vibrate when I'm in my class room.
Can you imagine my students hearing "yeah she fucking hates me" blaring from my phone?
Yep, me too. I don't think I'll get that tune.

I want my mommy........or my grandma

2009-11-29T12:56:00.000-08:00

TMI alert.
Oh man am I ever sick.
I have horrible stomach cramps and of course Aunt Flo shows up on top of that. Then I'm running to the bathroom ever few minutes.........ugh.
I'm not saying Steve is bad at taking care of me. He just doesn't believe how bad it is until it hits him and that freak of nature never gets sick.
It is different with Pudd'n though, oh hell jump through hoops for Pudd'n (as it should be).
But good gawd if I say I'm sick; I am sick damn it.
What? Me running to the bathroom and squirting liquid out of my ass isn't a good enough indicator?
I want my mommy. She'd buy me coloring books, crayons and story books to do while I lay in bed. She'd rub my forehead with love........
I want my mommy.

One sick bitch

2009-11-28T12:49:00.000-08:00

I thought I was just having sinus problems yesterday and today I finally figured out I've fianlly got the damn cold that is going around. Go figure.
I didn't get it from my students and I didn't get it from my night job because I haven't been there all week.
*heavy sigh*

Holidazzze

2009-11-27T18:46:00.000-08:00

Here are the very happy young men I had the pleasure of hosting this year. I could not get these boys off base fast enough. They were more than ready to kick back and eat some real food. As usual when we went to Wally World; people would stop them and say thank you.

Pudd'n has spent the past 2 1/2 days at my mom's and boy did I ever miss him!!! The house was too quiet (and clean) with out him. He had a blast but I am sure happy to have him home.

I've got my tree & decorations up. Now it is time to relax.

Blatherings

2009-11-25T05:54:00.000-08:00

Well not too too much is going on in my world. I am enjoying my vacation so far. I was only scheduled one night this week at work. At first I was pissed especially when I found out that one night I'd be the damn break girl. But then I put things in perspective. We are doing a lot of cleaning up around the house and today I'll be baking like a mad woman because tomorrow we get our Marines. Would I like to be making money? Hell yes! But I'm a lot less stressed right now.

Hmmmmmmm......not too sure about this

2009-11-20T06:00:00.000-08:00

Last night I ended up being a "breaker" at work. I'd go around and break my co workers for 30 min. I ended up with conflicting directions on what I was supposed to do. I was told A) when I broke a person from their station and I got a new table I had to turn that table back over to the person that I was breaking (making no tips). and B) no, you keep that new table and after you move on to the new person's section you are breaking keep an eye on it. (keeping tips)
The problem with option A is well, you make no damn tips but then you are not running around like a chicken with your head cut off because you have tables all over the damn resturant.
The problem with option B is that you have tables all over the damn resturant.
If this were a small place and you didn't have to sing a damn birthday song every five minutes or have to try and round up birthday singers this would not be a problem.
But this place is huge, people are demanding, the ice cream melts instantly and rounding up birthday singers is a pain in the ass.

The manager alluded that I will probably a breaker a lot because I can't get in until 5pm.
This is not going to go well, mark my words.

Is it Friday yet?

2009-11-16T19:18:00.001-08:00

Steve and I took a walk with GP around our lakes while Pudd'n and his aide went to the mall to get dinner. We had a big flock of Canadian friends in for a visit. They are my favorite type of geese. I've been feeling snowed under with all the hours I'm working at my new job. Thankfully they only have me four days this week and then I get the whole weekend off.
I'm starting to get used to the insanity that is my night job. Less than two weeks open and we still have a two hour wait.
Time to go veg in front of the tv. It sure feels nice not running around like a maniac having to sing happy birthday every five minutes.

No rest for the wicked.........

2009-11-13T06:20:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how much a 2nd job cuts in to your free time! Hell, it is cutting in to my happy hour even! Hopefully next week's schedule won't be so crazy. They are hiring more people AND management because we are so over whelmed. Last night I was ready to walk I was so pissed at the kitchen for fucking up my food yet again.
Learn how to fucking read!!!
On Vetran's day it was really nice how the management periodically would announce for the vetrans to stand up so we could give them a round of applause and a free sundae. It was deafening every time they did this.
I need to find other ways to relax when I get home. Booze & food just before you go to bed is not a good idea. I am so hungry when I get home and in dire need of relaxing after a loud, energy filled evening of singing birthday songs & crap.
We were able to get Pudd'n in to the candy store part of the establishment and the look of abject horror on his and Steve's face was priceless when they realize just how damn LOUD this place is.
Well time to drag my zombified carcass in to the shower. Thank all that is holy that it is Friday and I have a day off tomorrow.

A big Thank you to all our Vetrans

2009-11-11T05:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday went well for Pudd'n. He was fine until it was time to go in for the procedure and then he freaked out. It breaks my heart to see him so upset. Thankfully he has good teeth and all he had were four tiny cavities. We won't have to do this again for another two years.
Thankfully I was able to get last night off of work. I was emotionally spent and just exhausted. I'm pretty irritated that I'm not sleeping now. Here I've got the day off and I'm wide awake!